random thoughts

-having gone through so much within a week. sometimes i still think everything isnt true. i don't know how to say. i know i shld just move on, but certain scenes just flashes in ur mind and it reminds u of everything. emo. i must stay strong!

-finally changed my phone today! and collected my driving license. heh =) and i only drove out once so far -_-'' i should drive out more.

-my attempt to make waffle was pretty successful compared to previous attempts. hah! just that it wasnt sweet enough.

-boyfriend finally coming back from japan today!

it was all a nightmare, i wished i could just wake up from it. seriously.

WHEE! its the end of exams! =DD really really tiring semester and i hope my CAP doesnt drop...booo! because i know it may...horrendous results this sem =(

its boyfriend's last paper today!! but he's going clubbing with friends =( but nvm...he should have time for himself too...maybe i will stay home and figure out how to make waffle...oh yes..i need a visit to the polyclinic too! actually im quite scared to go alone...='( who knows what the doctor will say...hmmm...

anw, the 4 of us cabbed down from sch to town after our very last paper! din tai feng for lunch! hahah! xiao long baoS =pp walked aimlessly, take photos, played arcade, went gelare! I THOUGHT THEY CLOSED DOWN! but apparently not! and so we sat down for a longggg chat =)

okay, im going to search for a more reliable waffle recipe now! =p



"maybe when u do not expect anything, u would think lesser"

hohoho! after all my sweat and tears, I'VE FINALLY GOT MY LICENSE! =p im so proud of myself because i thought i would have failed. ahha! *pat on my back =)) and yes! byebye to that 'always-shouting-at-me instructor' *waves frantically

now is like a load off my shoulder. no need to be so sian of going driving lessons, no need to pay money to get scolded. whahaha! wellll done =D thanks to all those who wished me goood luck =) they worked. heh. come to think abt it, boyfriend! u didnt celebrate with me for getting my license! grrrr....

anw, now i can concentrate studying for my final exams! which is a big headache! and im seriously getting lousy grades this sem im trying so hard to salvage....cant wait for my exams to be overrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

poof! haven been blogging for an entire month!

so so stressed up with everything =(

i cried after driving that day! ='( sniff. okay, actually thats pretty common..i think out of the 12 lessons i had, i cried at least 4 or 5 times. see la, why did i go learn to drive...make myself go thru unnecessary emotional stress. but i think its attributed to the instructor la...hate it when he shouts at me. hate it when he gets impatient. GRRRR. i always complain to yifang then she told me this 'tell him....shout somemore at me and i bang ur car' and all the nonsense...haha...so irritating la..i ended lesson and i walked to the toilet and i cried =( so poor thing. hate it when ppl raise their voice at me...even when bf raises his voice (he claims he didnt) at me, i also cry...hah...i found my weak point...okay enough of emotional stress....

was out with bf for dinner at aston and movie at cathay ydae. so qiao the one who was queuing in front of me was hengky...haha! and it has been so long since we watched movie and so long since we were out till late...the blue mansion wasnt too bad...at least it made me laugh..hah...home at 1am...edited one of the grp essay till 3am and went to bed. and guess what? i still woke up at 9am =/ my biological clock is working very well.

and sch work is drowninggggg me.........

got back stats paper. i knew i sure do badly. but IM STILL SAD ABOUT IT! =(

nvm. all the more im motivated to pull my grades and get over with this sem!

was blog hopping...realised i haven been catching up with my friends for ages =(( i have not been talking to ah ryl, sian n mok for like dunno how long. booo =(( and i was chatting with ah na online yesterday and that was like after how long we didnt meet and talk despite studying in the same school and taking one same module.

sometimes i don't know what im doing. seriously.

and i dunno whats wrong with me. i think i dun feel as healthy as before =( maybe i have not been running for long. and i cant run now because i don't want to perspire which may probably worsen my little allergy on my stomach which is well on recovery. booo! im so problematic nowadays. and my period aint coming its getting on my nerve! RAHHH!

maybe im too stress which explains my little allergy and long overdue period which doesnt wan to come?

probably.

driving lesson that day wasnt as bad. but he scolded me! because my car rolled backwards =/ haha! i think i'll freak out when im driving when this man keeps shouting at me! it makes me hate driving =( which explains why i always dread having lessons. sometimes he just pushed my hand to make me steer to the right. sometimes he just keeps saying 'FASTER! U GOT TO DRIVE FASTER. SPEED UP SPEED UP! CHANGE UR GEAR NOW!' or he goes 'HURRY! GEAR 2 NOW, BACK TO UR LANE NOW, TURN LEFT INFRONT. FAST FAST!' and i end up panicking =/ BOO! and i always stress myself before lessons because im so scared my car will stall, i cant u-turn properly, i cant drive fast enough and blah blah. hai. but sometimes u tell ppl, they don't get why u are so scared for what. but i think different character ba. subjective.

that explains my high cortisol level.

and this sem is so xiong. tests every now and then. finished with one test and the next test comes. im forever studying. i feel so tired =( and looking at the number of essays due.....RAHHH....

that expplains an even higher cortisol level.

high cortisol level + even higher cortisol level = weak immune system = vulnerable to anything = little allergies = delayed period

HAHA! this is called the seehwee's theory of stress.

alright. back to my notes and my cup of milktea!

probably because i have not been blogging much these days, i don't know what to type in my entry!

okay, i know this entry is like super lagggyyyy but still i haven blog abt it!

backtrackkkk

birthday surprise from my friends =) although is like so long ago, i still rmb okay. they bought me 4slices of cake with one 'never say die' candle that kept me blowing and blowing and blowing non stop. haha!

then then then....I MET UP WITH JENNY AND ELIZA which i mention in my previous post!

the respectables! hahaha! we are all still the same =)) eliza still as blurr...jenny still as skinny as ever....hahaha....

okay. recess weeekkkkk alreadyyyy!!!! cant wait for midterms to be over then it will be E-LEARNING WEEK! wheeee!!!! then i'll only have to go sch twice that wk! cant wait cant wait =)))

okay. i only got 4 minutes to blog this because im taking a short break from studies.

have not been updating for a long longgggg time because im seriously busy this sem! test after test and more and more and more to come. i feel so sick studying already!!!!!! i feel as if im a robot now. and i have been neglecting poor boyfriend and i know i barely talked much on phone with him because im really tired. i only met boyfriend for 4hrs this week!! pro.

and i met JENNY and ELIZA that day! if i didnt have to go home to study, i could have spend more time with my 2 buddies. but then again, it was a good catching up session =) something wrong with blogger. i cant upload photos i dunno why.

times up! update again later. haha!

haven been blogging. didnt even realise there was some problem with my poor blog. hahaha! i randomly changed the skin but it seems like theres still some problem somewhere. sort it out when im free.

its week 3 of school! and i feel so not motivated =( i dunno how i can go on and on last sem reading my psychology text. COGNITIVE PSYCHOLOGY IS KILLING ME. overly comprehensive textbk is not good. and i have yet to touch biopsyc too!!! omg. im so dead. tests are coming!

oh yes, during biopsyc lecture, the lecturer brought human brains. and for the whole lecture, we were just examining and discussing about the different slices of the brain. abit gross thou =/ and he kept telling us the brain has a consistency of a tofu =/ interesting to see a brain, but for someone with no background in biology....im getting lost with all the nonsense terms.

didnt really like my timetable this sem. have to wake up early morning all the time =/

and did i say how much i detest driving?! but nvm, im doing well psycho-ing myself. I CAN do it.

and while in tutorial class today, i realise my primary school friend is in the same class too!
me: u are xue qi is it? yangzheng one right?
xue qi: ya...u are....class monitor?
me: HAHA! ya...

she cant rmb my name! hahaha! but at least she rmbed i was the class monitress. hahaha!

okay, i think i shld go slp soon. i need to wake up at 6.15am JUST TO GO FOR A 8AM LECTURE. GOODNIGHT!

I'VE BEEN FEELING SICK RECENTLY! =(

and i hate going for lectures when im feeling sick because i have short attention span. but luckily, first lectures are usually not impt so i can afford to drift off. boyfriend was sweet enough to appear at my doorstep to accompany me since i wasnt feeling well. thanks =)

spent my whole saturday sleeping, recuperating and watching tv at hm.

today was out with boyfriend and family. popeyes for lunch, hopped on singapore flyer and caught Up which obviously made boyfriend fell aslp =/ haha! okay, he wasnt the only one, cox i fell alsp for like 5mins too. hee. nth much spectacular abt spore flyer, perhaps it would look nicer at night?

SCH IS STARTING TML!!!!

i still do not have the 'im all ready for school' mood =/

i bet this sem will be tough. taking biopsychology which i dun really like and worse still, im taking stats 2 this sem =// studyyy hard studyyy hard studddyyy doubly hard!

hongkong trip was alright. lazy to upload photos here because they are all in facebook.

started driving lesson! and i already got this 'don't want to drive anymore' feeling =( i hate it when the car stalls...and i panic..and panic even more when theres car behind me =( SIGH. boyfriend! u shall be my driver la. forget abt my driving license. sniff.

and i can barely lift my arms up because they are aching soooo badlllyyyy!!!! 2hrs of cycling with boyfriend yesterday + 1 hr of badminton with boyfriend today + 1.5hrs of hands on steering wheel today = can't lift my arms high up.

i keep having this nausea feeling. it feels so uncomfortable! yucks. GO AWAY U IRRITATING NAUSEA. poof!

realised i haven been blogging for ages!!!!

i have ended my work last friday! but i'll still continue to work every monday night =))good money. haha! im going to miss drinking teh peng, yuan yang and milo dinosaur with my colleagues =(

ajisen ramen for dinner last friday =) im so craving for ramen these days. just feel like drinking soup. -slurped =p

i realised im such a lousy girlfriend at times. i got angry with boyfriend just because he didnt call or msg me when he was in orientation camp =x maybe im too used to getting calls and msges frm him it became a habit. im such a loser =/ booo!

went to watch ndp preview with boyfriend on saturday. impromtu activity because bf's dad's colleague's husband happen to have 2 tickets. so we just went ahead to watch since we have nth better to do. AND I SAW JENNY TAN THERE! HOHOHHO! smalllll worldddd!!! nice preview this time round. better than the one i watched 2 yrs back. hee.

sunday was spent massive exercising!!! met na and ryl at ryl's hse. gym-ed followed by swimming!!! and 3hrs just went back like that. and ryl's mummy cooked dinner for us. hee. =))good catching up as well and more photos to be added to my laptop! send me the photos soon ryl!

monday was spent playing badminton with bf in the afternoon, followed by lunch, travelled to ICA building to get my passport, travelled to tampines to get oreo cheesecake for my sis's bdae since bakerzin having 50% off, rushed home for dinner, travelled to workplace to work at night. OMG! seriously tired cox bf and i were rushing from places to places. and he was the innocent one who had to pei me rush everywhere. hahaha!

went clarke quay to find mok for subway lunch and to pass her giraffe! =)nice catching up! off to meet boyfriend at cathay. pei-ed boyfriend for lunch, watched harry potter, walked around and i headed home while bf off to meet his smu friends.

flying off to hongkong tmllllll!!!!! AND I GOT OUTBIDDED FOR TRAUMA PSYCHOLOGY!!! REALLY A TRAUMA FOR ME =((( i want to take trauma psyc!! now have to take biopsychology le! RAHHHHH. nvm. im all motivated! the harder the modules are, the more im motivated!!!!! but before that, let me enjoy my holiday first. hee!!!

AN ACCOMPLISHED DAY!

called my driving instructor in the morning at 9am and he told me to go ubi driving centre NOW because weekends are usually crowded. so i hurriedly ate my breakfast, bathed and off i went out! reached ubi at 11am, applied for my pdl and booked my driving test date. by the time boyfriend came to find me i was almost done with all my application and booking. but still, appreciate ur effort for coming all the way to ubi just to pei me =))

got a call from my sis halfway, telling me to renew my passport cox it has expired! so boyfriend accompanied me to ICA. renewed my passport and off we walked to find a coffee shop which boyfriend claimed that they sells good minced meat noodle. BUT THE QUEUE WAS SUPER LONG we settled for chicken chop instead =/ shared a plate of chicken chop and off we trained to town!

and that starts our ending walking. from wisma to taka to far east to tangs. AND I BOUGHT NTH! how can that be?! seems like i just cant find anything i like =( oh yes, i did buy something! i bought macarons cox its selling at 90cents each so shared 4 with boyfriend. haha! afterwhich, boyfriend accompanied me to tampines to meet ryl and off he went for his dinner with his family. finally met up with RYL! =))) initially i was not intending to exercise with them because i did not bring my shoes and clothes. ended up, ryl lent me her fbt shorts and t shirt, her new blue rubber band, her new socks, her mum's new running shoe! OMG! felt so bu hao yi si =( luckily there wasnt anyone in the gym. so we exercised and did all sorts of things to tone this and that. haha! super funny la, we laid 3 mats on the floor and started doing sit ups and stuff when right opposite us, theres a birthday party ongoing =/ so i assumed everyone saw us =/ went up her hse, waited for ah na to bathe first while ryl's mum heat up tapioca cake for us =) so nice of her mummy! ate a slice each except ah na who ate 2 =p hahaha! usual her. eat alot still so skinny. jealous! even ryl's mum said the same. ahahha! wanted ajisen for dinnerrr!! but by the time we reached tampines mall, it was already 10pm! everyone was starving by then. settled for pastamania in the end. had my favourite miso mushroom pasta =) talked for awhile and we all headed home.

TIRING DAY! did sooo many things todayyy!!!

i ate happy meal that day and i got a toy giraffe! so excited to pass it to mok! =)

boyfriend came all the way to yew tee from smu just to train down to lavender with me because i requested that he pick me up from my workplace =p im such a big bully! haha! so he trained like one big round =p and sorrrrryyyy boyfriend because i made u wait 3 hrs for me =/ but thats partially because u ended ur stuff early =p hope my chocolate and little note made u better which i think it did.

finally reached lavender and we went in search of mok's house. haha! took us ages before we found her block and guess what?!! THE GIRAFFE'S LEGS COULD NOT FIT INTO THE LETTER BOX =(( left in disappointment. =(((

walked to golden mile tower in search of yummy thai food. sweet bf suggested going there because he knew i was craving for tom yum soup =)


we shared this yummy pineapple rice!!

authentic clear thai tom soup to satisfy my craving =D -loves

no we didnt drink this. this is just a random shot.

half spring chicken. yummmyyy! fried but it doesnt feel oily. very crispy.

kang kong with belachan. i like this tooooo!

coupled with 2 glasses of fruit juice, this sums up our dinnerrrr!!!

i love today's dinnnerr because i love all the food we had =D thumbs up =)

and off we took a bus home. sat at the rooftop garden as usual before he walked me up to my house =)

love you dear! <3

just when i said im not going to eat sweet stuff, i ate it the very next morning =/ sometimes life becomes a routine. mundane and nth for me to look forward to =( i need a sweet dose to make me happy. im thinking of taking one day off from work. should i? but even if i take a day off from work, what should i do? no plans. don't mind working actually. because i have nice colleagues and nice boss. but sometimes i think im leading an aimless life. its home after work, or going out after work. return home, bathe n i sleep and the cycle repeats. is that how im spending my 3 mths of holiday? but its abit too late to say now. BECAUSE SCHOOL IS STARTING SOON! =/

craving for my tom yum soup!!!! even though i had tom yum seafood ban mian yesterday, thats still not satisfying! =( i hope my mummy cooks it today.

yesterday was sushi ling's last day at work. so saddening! but nvm, can still keep in contact =)) TAKE CARE!!!! =D

filling dinner yesterday! im not going to eat sweet stuff for 1 week! too much of desert these days =/

yesterday's dinner was at holiday inn hotel. buffet dinner filled with oysters, scallops, mussels, crabs, big prawns, turkey, salmon, spag, sushi, sashimi, gratin, cakes, chocolate fondue,tarts and too many to name. OH YES! i ate brie cheese too! and st paulin cheese, garlic and herb cheese, roulette cheese, mimolette cheese and others that i cant rmb. some tasted rubbery and weird, some tasted good. heh. bf was saying we so high class, we know how to eat cheese. haha! cox apparently no one appreciated the cheese =/

and it was so funny yesterday. i was sitting on the salon chair looking at bf's dad cut his hair. then his dad went to wash his hair so i sat on the salon chair talking to his mum. then out of a sudden, this lady came and turn my chair towards the mirror and i thought she wanted to take something so i stood up. and she went 'nonono, u sit down, gordon ask me to make ur hair'. and i was stunned. hah! and she started making my hair =/ and his dad came and helped me touched up and trimmed my hair. hah! funny uncle =)

dinnered till 10plus and home!

been so busy at work recently =( OT-ed twice this week! but nvm, more money earned.

finally slept till 10am this morning! it has been such a long time since i slept past 7am =(

went for my final theory test ydae morning and i passed! yay! headed to bf's house next, lunched, watched abit of gossip girls and headed to tampines 1. walked around but i didnt manage to buy anything =( went to find ah na and i got a free green tea ice cream drink from her! hah! good to work in f & b...hahha!! i get free icecream n drink from her =)) and i met kristin tan and her bf, eliza teo and her bf. haha! headed to joel's house next. and i played camping with one of his niece. so funny la. im suppose to buy grapes, durian etc for her. then set up fire and cook it or smth. imaginary game. hah! reminded me of the days when i was younger. always play such things with my sis and cousin. and joel's sis baked a cake! maybe i should learn too!

me: mummy! joel's sis baked a cake ydae! so pro la
mummy: wah, u go and learn too la
me: i dun mind leh. but everytime i bake anything, u end up doing everything else for me. i learn nth in the end.
mummy: HAHa

see! everytime i wan to make something and while i stirring the mixture, my mum will go 'nonono, must do it this way' then she stir everything for me =/
boooooo!

anyway, stayed till 11plus pm at joel's hse before we left. super tired. was falling aslp by then. slept in the car and home at 12am.

going out again later!! bf's grandfather's bdae! shall go lunch n bathe !

ARTS CAMP PHOTOS!





innocent freshies during SP night

another victim.

siew mai!

my legs disappeared!

female counsellors + ogl!



HOORAY TO SIEW MAI =))

omg. i have not touched my laptop for ONE week.

lets start of with.....

NICHOLAS ANG IS BACK IN SPORE on thursday evening!! but my parents doesnt wan me to go airport to pick him up because of H1N1. thats irritating. so angry. RAHH. so i decided to drop by his house after my work to drop my little diary at his place since i couldnt make it to pick him up at the airport. wanted to leave the diary on his table but aftering ringing the bell for ages, his maid did not appear =/ ended up dropping it in his letterbox and home after that.

ended work at 10PM on friday because temp staff had to attend a talk in LTA and a short tour ard it. but it wasnt too bad. nice tour. boyfriend came to pick me up =)) I FINALLY MET HIM AFTER 22 DAYS! omg! dropped shiling and sk at a nearby station and off we went west coast =) i was still telling bf i have no jacket to bring to camp and there i saw a white adidas jacket on the front seat =) he rmbed! <3 strolled around in west coast and bf drove me to sch for ARTS CAMP! =) haha. reached school only at 12.30am =/ came up with cheers, helped to make identities and slept at near 4am.

left camp one day earlier cox i had to work the next day. SO GOODBYE ARTS CAMP! bathed and off i headed to bf hse to find him =) dinnered at his house and i was presented with many many presents frm bf <3

- 1 espirit short
- 2 espirit tops
- 1 ralph polo t
- 1 puma running shoe
- 1 roxy slipper
- 1 oakley bikini
- 1 penguin softtoy
- 1 kangaroo softtoy
- 1 koala bear softtoy
- 1 adidas jacket which i got it earlier
- 500g of macadamia nuts
- 500g of abalone coated macadamia nuts
- 250g of almond

THANKS DEAR <3

and back to work on wed! i was zombified during work =/ haha! totally tired.

watched 'drag me to hell' with belinda on tuesday. HAHA! thats like our first movie that we watched ever since we were friends in secondary school. that show is so scary! but certain scenes were quite rubbish. i suppose they were there to reduce the fear and tension. HAHA! and belinda was sweet enough to bring me a jacket just in case im cold. haha! anyway, speaking about movie, i suddenly remember watching lilo and stitch with rachel and valerie when i was in sec 2. hee.

you know, it takes two hands to clap. some times i wonder, 50 years down the road, what would i have in my memory?

i definitely would rmb all the days i had in primary, secondary school and jc.

i guess secondary sch is the time when u start to explore things, take up positions, manage with your studies and everything. i rmb snacking in class with valerie when we were in sec 3. i think we hardly paid attention in class then =/ which pretty much explains our anxiety over our results. haha! i rmb i was very upset over relationship issue and valerie was always there to listen to me and help me speak to the other party. i cant rmb how we became good friends. i think the clique first started with me, u and rachel. then wanlin and adeline came in. then we became alot closer in sec 3 when we all went to the same class. i rmb there was this period of time we enjoyed slapping each other =/ haha! but there were times when we quarrelled too. shooting each other over on emails =/ rmb i was close to yunting,tingxuan, yingxian, belinda, siewting too. of course, many more things happen. although we may not be as close as before, but certain memories still stay with me. another part that made up my secondary school days is of course st john. i swear i was very into st john then. jenny and eliza are my buddies and we went through so much together. if only i could return to those days. footdrill, home nursing, first aid, toc. i miss em =(

fairies made up the whole of my jc days. seriously. i was sorting out my stuff in my laptop that day when i came across a few videos we took. super funny! photos we took showed just how much we have changed in just mere 2 years and our friendship strengthens over time. i see how much we can do just to help one another. how much effort we spent just making birthday presents. how much brain cells we killed just to come up with surprises and birthday plans. all these changed me. our results may not be something that we are proud of, but our friendship is. going all the way to airport just to eat ban mian, doing all the nonsense and retarded things i have never done before. they made me understand more about myself. i never knew i can be that retarded -_-'', never knew i could do so much just for a friend. it was a pure friendship. we have no other motives. you know, sometimes friends do make use of one another, secretly stealing your notes so u will do worse or smth. but NO, fairies isnt like that. i hope we could just maintain everything. sometimes, things that are lost can never be recover again. i don't know how to say it. but they did change me quite abit. only when im with them, i dare to ask stupid questions or do stupid things. its the feeling of being so comfortable with them that you wouldnt worry that you will embarrass youself. i guess they have seen the most unglam side of me unfortunately. but i guess the saddest thing is that we have graduated from jc. it is seriously not easy to match our schedule such that we can have a day where the 5 of us can meet. and all the more, we shld cherish our gathering whenever can we have one. so i suggest, MEET UP SOON FAIRIES! reply my email!

there are times when my friends told me why im with nic? why of all people, i chose him? i have people telling me he is just a normal average guy, i should find a better one. he's not tall, he's not as fit. WHY HIM? sometimes their words do hurt me. it sets me thinking alot. its funny why im affected by what others say. but i believe at some point in time, you will think whether you have made a right decision.

there are times we quarrelled. but we never let our quarrel last for more than a day. bf always make me say out all the things that im unhappy about, he takes note of em and he try to not let it happen again. whenever i attitude him for nth, he gets angry too but he soon give in to me. he's sweet in his own ways and he always make me feel like im such a pampered girl. he's such a cheeky boy sometimes i feel like pinching his cheek. =p even now that he is overseas, he knew i was very down looking at the way i was talking to him online and he would talk all sorts of nonsense just to have me smile. he doesnt express himself directly. which means he doesnt say 'don't be sian, smile la' or smth. he just keeps talking and talking and hopefully one sentence would just make me smile. i saw a wallet which i thought it looks not bad and he insisted on buying it because he says i like it. but i didnt let him buy because it was too expensive and he told me he doesnt mind spending on me, why should i mind. bf called me from australia today just to ask me what colour i want because he wants to buy me a jacket. he told me online that he spent alot of time choosing clothes for me and that i better wear the clothes he bought. its this kind of little little actions that make me feel loved.

the ans is obvious.