i got back my results! =) CAP 4.75 this sem (after i s/u one module) ! =)) my hardwork paid off =) GOOD JOB!

anw, it was a long long day for me today. ended work at 3pm, flew to sch for research till 6pm and went for meeting at ymca at 7pm! ended at 10plus 11 and had my 'lunch+dinner+supper' at 12am!

volunteer work with special needs children =) and i so happpen to bump into my st john squadmate!!! OMG! so coincidental. and i felt much more comfortable with the outing today because i start to see familiar faces around, those that i saw from previous outing =) and i could better interact with the kids too =)


my st john mate on the left! =))

met guan ning after my volunteer work and WALKED to bugis to meet the rest for dinnnerrrr!


tgyc dinner! =D its nice to see that newly formed friendship holds through even after the camp ended like half yr ago =) cheers!

she who cant be named says:
http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=sale&product%5Fid=2000007390&Page=1

me says:
what with that?

she who cant be named says:
i duno
see like ur style so v excited
then paste for u le
hahaha

me says:
omg.

she who cant be named says:
still too conservative for u i think

me says:
YAR!

the above convo made me laugh man. omg. fairies always say my style of dressing is classified as 'skimpy' = tube top, tube dress, short skirt, paired with my 'ling ling long longs' (aka bangles)

walao. I BEG TO DIFFER. not all the time ok.

don't feel good today. felt i could have handled my girl a whole lot better =(

STORY TIME.
the teacher took out a board and a box full of alphabets in class. the children were asked to spell by arranging those alphabets and sticking them on the board. my girl protested upon seeing the board and box of alphabets that she started throwing tantrum even though it was not her turn to do the spelling. she screamed and cried and started messing with the board and alphabets, standing up and moving around. token reinforcement worked in getting her sitting nicely on the floor but that didnt sustain long enough because she started her next cycle of tantrum. tried bringing her out for a walk but she threw yet another cycle of tantrum =/ she threw the slippers on the floor, cried even LOUDER and ran off =/ helpless me tried holding on to her to get her quiet but it didnt work. she cried and screamed so loudly until the director came out and asked me what happened. =/ so, the director led her into the office and told me to ignore her crying and tantrums. just ensure her safety but not giving her any attention at the same time. and finally, she decided to calm down and stayed quiet after some time.

the next cycle of tantrum came again during maths lesson when she was expected to sit on chair to do her maths question. faced with her tantrums again, i tried token reinforcement on her and thank goodness it worked. the only time i felt in control.

and next, she fell alsp during chinese class =/ TOOK ME A WHOLE LOT OF EFFORT TO GET HER EYES OPEN. wiping her face with cold towel, making her jump etc all didnt work actually.

the accumulation of everything made today a pretty challenging day. i felt damn lousy after work because i just felt i could have handled her better. i admit i got pretty helpless and exasperated with her at times because i really find it hard to understand her on top of all her tantrums =( its very different from doing therapy. therapy is 1 on 1 and there is a clear boundary and expectation from the therapist and the child. but for a girl who has not been through any therapy, its hard to instill that sort of boundary and expectation during class time. i mean, im not saying its impossible but to drill her during classtime is difficult and its beyond the job scope of a shadow teacher anyway. sigh.

4hrs of dealing with tantrums n behavioural issues
= LOTS OF PATIENCE AND DETERMINATION

i swear by the end of my internship, i'll be so patient no one will ever provoke me man.

sometimes i wonder would my girl be better off if she is placed in therapy or special need school instead? im quite sure she is not learning optimally in the mainstream because those things taught in class are way above her capability despite being matched on mental age. and classroom setting is hard for her to learn because the teacher's attention is divided among other children and she will just be sitting there vocalising/exhibiting stimulating behaviour. is that even helpful at all? and its pointless for me to keep redirecting her attention to the teacher when obviously she is not absorbing. i don't really know how to voice this to the mother. im sure she has reasons for placing her child in mainstream. perhaps to learn socially appropriate behaviour, or prep her for normal classroom setting etc. but oh well. im just a new shadow teacher, i shall just observe for a longer period and see how things go.

alright, put that aside. tml will be a better day i hope. i'll just learn along the way and i need to learn faster!

AND MY MUMMY SAYS I LOST WEIGHT! hahahha! IF ONLY MAN. i still weigh the same =( i guess she hasnt been seeing me most of the days thats y. hahaha!

still in the process of researching for my honours thesis. i think my hypothesis for now sounds abit duh =/

ok, i shall stop blogging. time to go work again! i hope 'meet the ppl session' ends early tonight!

schedule for upcoming week
mon - internship + 'meet the people' session at night
tue - internship + meet fairies for bbq n swim in the evening!
wed - internship + back sch to meet prof for thesis in the evening
thurs - internship + therapy session in the evening
fri - internship + therapy session in the evening
sat - N.O.T.H.I.N.G
sun - volunteer work + dinner with friends

very 'exciting' week ahead. i think i shld slp early like NOW.

and oh! i generated a short wishlist! hahahha! (fairies! take ur pick ok! =p)

1. bag
2. clutch
3. wallet
4. cardigans
5. wedges
6. bottle
7. black romper

im starting to feel that my very LONGGGGG hair is a hindrance now given the very HOTTTTT weather =x but i cant bear to cut it because it took my hair more than a year to grow till this length...im so tempted to curl it actually...

and im getting so many bruises lately. 10 bruises to be exact on my knees and arms. too much of kneeling on the floor and fighting with kids. haahha!

met fairies after my work =))) finallly the 5 of us are free to meet up =) headed to arab street for dinner and the place was so empty we literally camwhored there.

haha! ah na's expression =p

hahahha! i think this is so funny!

na, sian and ryl decorated this cake for mok =) too bad i had to work, if not i think the cake would be prettier! HAHAHAHA =PPP

went shopping around haji lane and arab street and ended our day with DESSERT =D

*slurp!

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MOK! =))

a day to laze at home =) helped my dad to paint the house! ok, actually i just contributed by painting one side of the door =p heh. wanted to bake shortbread too! but my house ran out of rice flour =/ ended up i was on f21 website shopping for clothes the whole afternoon. haha!

i cant believe the 'meet the ppl' session ended at 1+am yesterday! near 90 ppl turned up. the after effect of election =/ everyone just swarmed down to see the MP and that made all of us worked late into the night. and i was shocked to see that there were still train services at 1+am! does smrt operates till wee hours during eve of public holiday? hmm...

met na for high tea last week =))) its good that i end work at 3pm daily. heh. nice timing for high tea with girlfriends <3 i enjoy just sitting there the whole afternoon with my gfs, catching up with one another, savouring our scones/sandwiches and whatsnot, taking a sip of our tea. ahhh...thats enough to make me happy already. just the thought of it makes me happy too. hahahha! i feel so girly =p i bet guys don't do such things.

our very yummy high tea set =)

photos for ben's 21st =DD

i got teary listening to this song. i think its so touching.

"What are Words" - Chris Medina
Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see
How every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I'm meant to be where I am
And I'm gonna be
Standing right beside her tonight

And I'm gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

I'm forever keeping my angel close

emo song. it makes me think alot. how do u judge whether that person is the right one for u? we all have our ideal kind of partner right? does that mean having found the ideal partner means that partner is the right one for u? if an ideal partner comes at the expense of not spending time with u, not being by ur side when u needed ur partner the most, is that still what u call ideal? and ideal is one thing, being able to get along is another thing. how do u noe whether the person is ideal when both are living in different parts of the world?

nike run with my sis =) the so called 'goddness' run because it's a run just for girls..hahaha! seriously bimbotic run because girls were running with cameras?! =/ and we get trophies and flowers after the run. hahahha! and there were this whole bunch of bangla workers crowding right at the starting line with their cameras and busy snapping photos of girls running. seriously, what the...

tired us after running...

heh. my very tight schedule today. met my friend for lunch at 12.30pm, home by 2.30pm and left for marina barrage for nike run at 3pm. home at 8pm and out again at 8.45pm for ben's 21st birthday! =) and starbucks with guan ning and zhen yuan till 1+ am and home at 2am! tired to the max.

me: i think i have such a common face i don't really leave an impression on ppl
zhenyuan: u do. u are like soooo fair.
me: =/

started internship! =))

good that my internship starts at 11am and ends at 3pm daily =) muahaha! at least i do not have to wake up at like 7am =/ and i can still continue with my therapy from 5to 7pm on thurs n fri, and my 'meet the ppl' session on mon night =) good planning with perfect timing! haha!

first day with my girl and i have lots to learn. i really need to think of something to get her to engage with others. its a social deficit that is probably persistent throughout people with autism and i noe it wouldnt be easy to change my girl especially when im not even like her therapist or anything. but oh well. let me build some rapport with her first. i don't know how long that will take when she doesnt let me enter into her world. and having not much experience dealing with echolalia (one of the characteristics of autism but it doesnt apply to all), sometimes i find it hard to communicate or understand what she is saying because she is practically repeating what i have just said in the exact tone. its like i ask her 'do you want to drink?' and she replies 'want a drink?' so do i take that as she wants the drink or don't want the drink?

but oh well, she's still an adorable girl just like my boy =) haha! i don't really wan to mention their names so bear with all the saying of 'girl' and 'boy'. heh.

headed to pasir ris next for therapy with my boy. was like physical exercise today because he couldnt sit still and hence all the carrying and making him sit nicely admist all the sceaming. but he was fine on the whole and he is progressing well =)

FREEDOM!

even though the paper was like #Q%@$^&#%&%&#Q$#...but oh well. ITS ALL OVER! =D i did what i could in 2hrs and i shall just hope for the best.

and yes, went out with xinyi and she brought me to some middle eastern restaurant at arab street. can u believe i HAVE NOT BEEN TO ARAB STREET?! hahah! oh man. i think im living in a cave or smth. but yea, dinner was good with nice ambience in the restaurant. and many people were smoking shisha i almost suffocate when i walked past the 'smoking room' (we were dining in the non-smoking room)...i cant imagine how they eat in the midst of all the smoke =/

and we had a long talk =) i think girls can reallllly TALK ALOT. our 10hrs worth of discussion the day before and at least 6hrs of talking non-stop after our paper ended.

i cant believe me and xinyi just studied for 10 HOURS STRAIGHT with the exception of 1 toilet break. studying for 'atypical development and language development' is driving us mad. by the time we stepped out of the lib, i was like totally drained already.

last paper tml! im smelling the air of freedom =D