Saturday, April 28, 2007

i seriously think i got a change in character...i just cant imagine how i was like in secondary sch...i dun go out often, i head home after sch most of e time, i nva go too crazy over idol, i nva go mad over eye candy, i dun do retarded things like i alwaes do now =X , im alwaes e 'flower vase' when it comes to playin captain ball or any other sort of balls, i nva plan bdae surprises for my sec sch frenx...i think still got alot more...wahh...i think im livin in my small little world in secondary sch...hahhax...omg...

guess we change as we grow up...and one thing for sure...i realise i dun hide my feelings tat much now...hmmm....as much as i dun wan it to happen...ppl ard me are gettin more n more depressed...be it family or studies or cca...there is alwaes a solution to ur problem, dun be too pessimistic abt things tat are happenin...i noe is easier said than done cox if it happens on me...i sure mood swing...but i suppose tat is normal...just give urself time to think abt it...cry it out if u wan ...after tat...get back to ur feet n move on...there are many things tat are beyond our control...we cant expect everythin to run smoothly as we wish...i understand tat i gets impatient at times when i face wif ppl who are depressed...firstly cox i duno whats is wrong wif em n i cant help but look at em helplessly..secondly...they are lettin their emotion control em which shouldnt be e case...sooo...i guess i shld learn to be more understandin...i promise...=)

ps: waiyin, i'll be there for u if u need =)

wahhh...i feel more optimistic now...HAHAHX...=D

time to mug for chem test!!!

Saturday, April 21, 2007

haven been near e com for like dunno how long...once again...is self-declared free fridae for me...so here i am slackin...a quick update on wad happen this week ba...

Mon
went to cut hair wif waiyin after sch ended...seriously...i was abit shocked when we entered e hair salon...hahax...shaldnt go into details abt it...but e girl who wash my hair abit furnie sia...she looked at me...then said 'girl arh, open ur specs.' n i looked at her for a second...she meant take off my specs...=X anywae...after we cut our hair...waiyin n i headed to national lib...finished up our homework there...did a few maths qns...and it was alreadi 7.30pm...headed to bugis for dinner...pathetic bread and apple juice...ZzZzZz...i still can rmb wad i ate e entire dae sia...i had 4 sticks of egg roll and a cup of milo for breakfast...skipped lunch...dinner was one garlic bread and a cup of apple juice...

Tue
ben and jerry FREE CONE DAE! intially...i wasnt realli into e idea of eatin ice cream...but BUT BUT...after much influence frm fiona, waiyin, ryl, huixian....i headed to whitesands wif em...n ya...i had strawberry cheesecake which tasted great...hehex...=)

Wed
initally, all of us were excited abt e star gazin outing...but it turned out that huixian, fiona and ryl all so qiao..cant make it...n after lookin thru e programme for e dae...kinda turned off le...all e talks in e afternoon...followed by movie screenin...before headin to east coast at night to see e meteor shower...i think e onli excitin moment is to witness e meteor shower, e rest totally doesnt appeal to me at all...so yep...we decided to pull out frm it...

Thurs
netball trainin after sch...perhaps some would have thought i did e most retarded thing...to back out a few daes before the selection for sch team and went to join recre...i also dunno how to put it in words...in fact...all the j2s wanted to get into sch team...when choy told us abt it...she gave us e hope n yet this is wad we get...we put in our effort and committment to train durin holidaes and even comin back to train durin march block test...we trained for a year...a year of hardwork...n this is wad we get...im just unhappy tat all our hardwork n effort goes unrecognised...seein e j1s trainin wif us...i knew they were alot more stronger than me...considerin e fact that they played for years since sec sch or even since pri sch...call me coward for backin out last minute or watever it is...i just dunwan to compete wif em...i dunnoe...i think sports cca is just so realistic...*shrugged* but watever it is...i nva regret joinin netball...cox i think is smth tat i enjoy...=)

todae
super duper tirin n long dae...sch supposed to end at 12.05pm...but ended wif extra lessons....dragged all e way till 3pm....grrrrrr....headed home after tat...n here i am slackin...

sigh...i think everyone's gettin in e mood swing fever...and im no exception...gettin back my pw results was devastatin...i dunno y...but im realli upset gettin a big fat B...everyone tells me is alright...many ppl get Bs too...but deep down...i wanted so much to tell em they are not me...would they still smile and take it as if everythin is okie when they get Bs or Cs? when others are jumpin in joy with their A grade? NO! is easy to sae...is easy to console someone when u are not in e same situation...but of cox...i didnt sae anythin...i just nodded my head and simply said im okie...i noe my frenx cared...perhaps tat y i chose to keep quiet...

block test results are disappointin...SIGH! life is so unpleasant! ARGH! everythin just cant seem to go right...GRRRR...

Thursday, April 12, 2007

long long time since i can go home right after sch...like 1.45pm? it definitely feels good =)

im so lookin forward to e star gazin outin...it's so cool! im alreadi picturin everythin...=D

Sunday, April 08, 2007

i think this loonnggg weekend is meant for me to recuperate...=X

i think im turnin into a panadol soon. i ate like 8 panadols within 2 daes...not tat it is alot...but im eatin it as if i haf nva eaten it in my life...=X e moment e panadols wear off...my fever comes back again...so im like eatin em every 6 hours or so...so i spend thurs and fri at home accompanying my bed...n my throat hurts real bad...i cant slp in peace...i cant talk in peace...i cant eat in peace...GRRRR...

Monday, April 02, 2007

doctors can be irritating at times..one moment they tell u her condition is veri unstable and the next 48 hrs will be a crucial time, if anything happens, they might not be able to revive her...e next moment, they tell u...she is okie and can be discharge...so what is it?

tat time my ah gong also liddat...e doctor told us to be mentally prepared becox he might leave us anytime tat dae..but ended up, e doctor kept tellin us e same thing for like a few daes...keep sayin cannot survive e dae...n got us all panic and worried...camp in the hospital, slept in e car, rushin home to bathe at midnight......

right...this time is my great grandmother...she is strong and healthy all along...till she complains of chest pain a few daes back and was admitted to e hospital...n so qiao...e ward she is in happens to be e same blk and same level as my grandfather tat time...heard frm my parents my ah ma kinda recalled e incident when my ah gong was still ard...n fainted..got rushed to A & E tat night...heartbreakin...

went to visit my great grandmother last night...she was slpin so we didnt disturb her...we stood outside e ward...n happened to witness someone who had just passed away being wheeled out of e ward...followed by a whole grp of ppl, tearin behind...sigh. accompanied my sister to visit her fren's mum who was in e hospital as well...a pretty complicated situation but i hope auntie will stay strong...

i just dun get it...y cant we all be appreciative of wad is ard us now? cherish all those who are around us...i alwaes get veri emo when i go to hospital...life and death is just a line apart...who noes what will happen tml...it is fate tat we all get to meet, to be in e same class, and great frenx...so y cant we cherish tat affinity? yes, there are ppl who irritates us at times...there are times we are selfish, there are times we onli wan to care abt ourselves...but will we be happie doin so? no man is an island! sigh. i woke up wif thousands of thoughts in my mind...but i just dunno how to put it in words...