argh.....nearly blew my top at her....idiotic leh...ahhhhhhh..........thx her for her powerful suaning skills and blessings tat i'll fail my hcl...and tat i deserve to fail for my prelims....argh!!!! luckily i was on phone...and not face to face....i would had shouted at her...and thx her for discouragin me to study....ahhh....i feel like stranglin her....*hmph*

hey...e idiotic one...let me tell u...i'll get at least a b3 for my hcl n i'll beat u for e o's....thx for ur motivation...i'll work extremely hard....

heehex...back again to update le...bored to death...now alone at home...facing maths...eeeeww...haixx....sianxxxx....oh ya...mrs ngiam made e klass sumthin like a bookmark...nice of her thou...but she pretty emotional...cos she cried e moment she gave us e thing...then made everyone so sad...cum to think abt it...tomolo is e last dae we as a klass....get to sit together n haf our lessons...but i noe tomolo surely alot ppl not cumin sch le...sad case...

hmm...also dunnoe wad to sae thou...five more daes to chem prac....seven more daes to phy prac...panic attack! later i screwed up how??? later i mental block how??? eeeww *gasp* *cross fingers* heard frm mrs ngiam tat e bio prac was quite tough...*shiverss* chem n phy better not too hard....they alwaes sae practicals are e one tat pulled up ur grades...but i think is pushin mine down...hmm....

dunnoe wad to sae le...do take care of urself ba...dun sae i nva care for u....later tue noseblock...cannot smell NH3 / SO2 then gonecase le...hehex...=) it was a long tok yestdae...hehehex...n i realise e history was so long....n we actually walked thru it...hahax...anywae...luv ya...!

slept at my grandpa house yesterdae....cox todae he goin to be cremated...so we cannot afford to be late...rituals were performed n we took a last look at him again...he laid in e coffin...he had a smile on his face...which i thought he mux had left peacefully...

arrived at e crematorium...went to e service hall n certain prayers were made while my grandpa was sent to be cremated...we made our way to e viewin hall...n e next thing...everyone cried...i couldnt bear e thought of my grandpa leavin...i saw my mother n all my aunties cryin their eyes out...it was a terrible scene...it took less than a few min n he is totally gone...just like tat...into ashes...i couldnt stop myself frm cryin...

how i had wished he was right beside me...i need ur shoulder now....

we rushed there as soon as we receive e call...waited for e dumb cab for half an hour and finally reached NUH at 11plus pm...we rushed to the ICU...and waited outside while e doctors were tryin to save him....e door opened...and e nurse wanted all to go in...tat moment...i knew he wun make it...i walked into e ICU...it was extremely cold...i took a look him...and i cried...he had tubin all over him...i looked at e screen...his heartbeat had turn 0...n his blood pressure was droppin...15...14...13...he left us...my sis n i walked up to him...i held his hand n i looked at him..he looked all so weak...i cried...

nva in my life had i witness such death n it just dawned upon me...how fortunate i am...frankly...i've yet to encounter e death of my close relative...n i just cant imagine tat i lost my grandpa tat night...my grandma was devastated...havin lived wif him for e past 50years...he just left her all alone...i cried upon seein my grandma...all of us sat outside...and waited for e police to certify e death...my grandpa had an operation but it failed...which probably had led to his death...toopit doctors!!!! since they arent even sure of e operation...y did they still carry on wif it...worst still...durin e operation...they didnt even do anythin...open up his chest n they realise they couldnt do e bypass...so open his leg instead...still cannot....stitch it back....n there...my grandpa was gone...just like tat...perhaps it might had been a form of escape for him...as in...he didnt have to suffer so much anymore...he opted for e operation thou...knowin e risk...but shouldnt e doctors had at least put in their effort in savin him...rather then realisin that here cannot bypass...there cannot bypass...and end up...open him n stitch him again...i mean...if they had done their best...perhaps i wouldnt be hatin em tat much...argh...

omg!!! i realli did stayed till 1....hehehx...see...i told u i can! *grinx* hmm...weird thou...i am pretty awake...but im sure tomolo lesson i would be dozing off...hehex...anywae....lets pray hard for my grandpa...cos he will be goin for an operation...some heart operation tat is of high risk...cox e doctor sae if it fails...he might go heaven or otherwise paralysed....eew...sounds pretty bad...it would be a 4hr operation...hope everything would be fine for him....*pray*alright...i'll go study my lit le...