im so SUPER peeved at sumone...when was e last time i blew my top??? i cant rmb...n why does it haf to be YOU...i just felt so cheated...i had nva ever thought u to be like this...i didnt noe u can get sick n tired of sumthin...especially when it cums to tat....i alwaes see u as a nice person...y mux u alwaes prove my theory wrong...!

i just felt so dumb...i was all wrong abt u...totally wrong...

is tears of anger now...not tears of saddness...how interestin....

disappointment. cheated. anger.
leave me alone.

goodness..couldnt slp last nitex...i was lyin on bed at ard 12 plus...kept tossin n turnin...it was 1plus am before i finally slept...n guess wad...i woke up at 5.30am...*gasp* my parents n sis were still slpin..so i guess i had better force myself back to slp...n woke up again later at 8am...hmm..home alone now...i dunwan do gp readin log!! so ma fan...still mux go find article n rack my brain thinkin on how to comment on tat article...=(

hmph.

goodness...cant believe it...im still wide awake...i think ever since jc life started...i've been slpin as early as 9plus...hmm...long time since i stayed up...i also dunnoe wad to do now...my family all sound asleep...left me...hmmm...=x

lesson went on as usual yesterdae...but 10 out of 14 of us pon physic lecture...cos all felt so sianx...didnt want to go for lecture anywae......so we ended playin donkey usin e cards...hahax...quite fun...but i ended up wif e most no. of joker cards...all thx to jiayi! =x

anywae..slack for tat 40mins then we went off for chem tutorials...i was abit stonin alreadi...cos didnt haf e mood to study...then finally last two periods were chi...even more slack! cos huiyun,me n michelle took hcl in sec sch...so we didnt haf to do e chi zhuo wen...so we spend our time tokin to e chi teacher...for like 1 hr plus...then waited in sch till 12.50pm for e official dismissal time...

then we took a bus down to downtown east...played bowlin...hahax...14 of us went...12 of us played...hehex...i was of cox a newbie there...a few of them also same as me...took me quite sum time for e ball to stay on track....but i managed to strike once!! hahax...aint too bad for a newbie bah...=p

anywae...e whole lot of us went to burger king to fill our tummies...i didnt eat thou...was so full...was stonin away when christopher told me got one casualty...i was searchin for e casualty but could only see a crowd of ppl there....heard it was a case of convulsion...in other words...is seizure or fits...was hesitatin whether to approach e casualty cos alreadi got sumone attendin to e casualty...n furthermore...there's no treatment for convulsion casualty...except for reassurin him n ensurin that he doesnt hurt himself...but still me n christopher still went up to take a look...oh ya...christopher is also a fellow sj member...he's e best cadet for nco course summore...so power...but anywae...we saw e casualty...is a man...ard 30plus year old...vomitted sum stuff out...but his condition kinda stable le...then a doctor frm dunnoe where appeared...n attended to him as well...then not long..e ambulance came...but by e time e ambulance arrived...e man alreadi recovered le...guess he was alright...yep...

then e cg took a class photo as well...stupid tengming...im sure my face wun appear in e photo...all thx to u worx...=x it was alreadi 5 pm then...half of e cg wanted to go home...so tat left wif me n michelle...tengming...chris..timo...zhang quan...koomar...rajan...farhan...we walked to e beach...e wind was super strong...even e birds got swept away by e wind...but it was realli nice enjoyin e sea breeze...hehex....but pasir ris park certainly br0ught back many memories...argh..forget it...=x

anywae...we sat down n tok....all thx to chris...i noe wad is fountain n waterfall...so disgustin...i think i gettin polluted by e guys...anywae...we even did footdrill on e beach...it was soo cool...cos quite a no. of us were frm ug grp...then started playin ard n crappin...then dunnoe hu started it...we began to play catchin...hahax...quite furnie thou..a bunch of us in our uniforms...playin catchin in e middle of e field...then we sat down...n tok n sing...by then only left 7 of us....left e park ard 7plus...then we walked all e way back to pasir ris interchange...chris was tokin abt e charlie 13...sum ghost stories...yep...then everyone started tokin abt their sch stories...=p

then waited for e bus wif koomar...i alwaes got problem tokin to koomar...his eng so powerful...n he tok so fast...could hardly catch up wif wad he was sayin...heard he's goin to participate in cyclethon tomolo in malacca...wish ya all e best then! =)

goodness...this is such a loooonnngg entry...!!

hmm..todae lesson aint too bad..thou is a long dae again...but we played ultimate frisbee for spe todae......hehex...i helped my grp score!! hahax...=) i think our cg are gettin closer n closer...but sad to sae..we are partin in one week time...sigh! but anywae...06s11 is goin out tomolo!! hahax...goin to pasir ris for bowlin n lunch i guess...sumthin for me to look forward to...hmm...oh ya...guess wad...i cooked spagetti(dunnoe how to spell) for lunch yesterdae...hahax..n it tasted so much better than e sch canteen one...think i blog again later...go help my sista wif e dinner...poor her...fryin nuggets all by herself...

hmm...i sat infront of my com for e past 1 to 2 hrs...tryin to think postively...n comfortin myself...n i guess...i straightened my thoughts out...i was openin this file tat i once type in it...it consist of everythin tat happened since 7 nov 2003 till 19 jan 2005...inside this file...i read thru everything...i tracked back e times when i broke up wif him on 18 jan 04 n later on in 19may 04...i read thru e time when i had a hard period...tryin to stop myself from bein sad...and how we eventually patch again n how i was happie again...actually in e relationship...i realli been thru alot...be it happie or be it sad...and i grew stronger each time...this is e third time we broke up...n i guess tat mark e end to everything...sad case thou...but i'll cross this obstacle...

im tryin to stay strong thou it may be hard...so i decided to type everything i wanted to sae in tat particular file...exactly one year for e next update in tat file...19 jan 2006. did felt much better after typin everythin out...computer is a gd confidante...n also...thanks to valerie, wenzhao and teng ming who tried comfortin me...it did help alot...thanks ppl!! *hugs*

im amazed at my recoverin speed thou...but there are still times when i think back of e past...i broke down again...but i guess it takes time...dunnoe when will it be...maybe when my Mr. Right appears...i'll be happie once again...=)

home alone again..seriously...i hate e idea of being alone at home...is not nice at all...last time can still crap wif my mum...but now..cum home also no one de...went home alone...open e door alone...watch teevee alone...aiyox...todae was so reluctant to go to sch..cos is endin at 3.30pm...but i guess still okie lar...just e thought of e long hr...make me feel sianx...todae SPE we played ultimate frisbee...it was quite fun thou...had e draw wif e opponent...hahax...then lesson carried on as usual...then my cg was decidin where to go tomolo...lots of idea...go pasir ris cycle...roller blade...go bugis shoppin...go orchard shoppin...go kayakin...go playt badminton...cant seem to make up their mind...but i think 06s11 rox! cos we realli a 'one for all and all for one' class...hahax...go anywhere also together...late for lectures n tutorials n still stroll our way into e LTs n classes...we also got good Civics tutor...took a class pic usin her phone...n she showed us her bf photos...hahax...=)

im so proud of myself todae..cos i stayed back in sch todae to do my phy homework...hmm...=) n guess wad...i failed my FIRST physics test...sad case...anywae...only got 4 passes only lar..so i aint tat bad...console myself...hahax...=)

im currently stone-ing at home now...no one is at home...only me n e teevee...me n e com...me n my homework...haixxx...i was so excited to cum home todae...cos finally sch ended at 12.50pm...cox i didnt go for canoeing...since i not stayin at tp anymore le...no pt goin ba..cos they choosing for ppl to enter sch team...so i go also pointless...so tengming...dun sae i do things nva you shi you zhong hor! reach home...ate sumthin light...watch teevee...bathe...do homework....watch teevee...online...boring! oh ya...yesterdae was rushin my econs homework...so i skipped my recess..n lunch...n later on in e evenin...i didnt have my dinner also...n guess wad...i went to weigh myself todae...hahax...lost half a kg...44.5kg...hehehex...nearin 44 soon...then 43!!! =p hmm...is it true tat in a relationship...a gurl will grow to love e guy more as days passes...while e guy grow to love e gurl lesser?? tat's a belief tat many gurls hold...cos they alwaes tell me tat...hmm...can tat someone prove me wrong...?

hmm....been havin late dinners nowadae...cos my mama had to go my ah ma from mon to fri...7plus am in e morin till 6plus pm in e evenin...sounds like workin hrs...but anywae...had to look after my ah ma..cos she still emotionally unstable...so everydae my mum rush to my ah ma hse to take care of her...rush back home to take care of us...sumtimes see her like so tired liddat...=(

anywae...im so peeved at this particular person...hu hold no regards for gurls...livin in her own generation...thinkin guys are better than gurls...thinkin im dumb n i cant study...say tat im a bad tempered person...sayin tat my L1R5 could haf been worse if those RI n RGS students taken e o's wif us...even before i take my o's result...she alreadi told me tat if i failed my o's...i can alwaes retake again...n ask me not to hold too high an expectation...in case i disappoint myself...although there was sum effort in her sayin she will help me celebrate if i do well...but well...=X n she alwaes appear to be so shocked to hear tat i take HCL despite e fact of me tellin her more than 3 times...which apparently..she cant seem to rmb...she only rmb guys....n dun care of e gurls...when she herself is a woman too...wad an irony...i think e worst part is how she manage to belittle u...n make u feel a small fry...n how she alwaes despise sjab...thinkin our first aid is useless...argh....is gettin on my nerve!!!

went to compasspoint wif my sista n daddi to get new phone...not for me...for my sis...sad case...hahax...i'll just need to wait for another 2 more mths for my plan to end first...dyin to change my phone...! anywae...bump into daryl there...then not long later...bump into my cousin..spore is such a small country...anywae...i finally get to eat my bak kwa at e last dae of new year...!! hahax...i go eat my dinner first...blog again soon....=)

was idlin at home..didnt noe wad to do..was thinkin of wad jcs to go...aj??mj?? hmm...got so troubled...decided to go cut my hair =)

got back my results todae...our batch did better than e 2 previous batches...but apparently...i didnt do exceptionally well...cos it wasnt wad i expected ba..but anywae...lucky i can deduct 4 pts...otherwise...realli bad le...got 13...so after deduction of e bonus pt...got 9...but i was realli satisfied with my literature..hahax..got A1!!! im alwaes stuck at a C n i got a A this time..hmm..*grinx* but it was a complete contradiction between lit n eng...cos supposedly...ppl who are gd in eng are also gd in lit...but then...i got seriously lousy grade for eng...shldnt sae....it realli shocked me when i saw it...guess i screwed my eng paper..but luckily got higher chi tat save me...so i didnt count eng grade...phew! anywae...went out with siewting..siew hoon...chinying...lulu...belinda...audrey..hazel..nicole to swensen...it was lulu's treat...she arh...every A she gets..she gets 1000 buck? n she got 5 As... dunoe got hear wrongly not..but anywae..tat was y she treated us...=x

then after dinner...i left wif chin ying...while e rest wanted to go shoppin...yep...tats all...

tired.exhausted.

todae tpjcian gathered at east coast park for e roadrun...it was 3km for e gurls...e gurls in my cg all didnt wan to run at first...but when e race started...all started runnin cos dunwan to be e last..hahax...was running wif jiayi all e way...3km worx...nva stop!!! hahax...sum proud achievements todae...tis e first time i participated in a roadrun or so called cross country...hehex...aint tat bad...but thou me n jiayi ran all e way...we came in like 338 for me...and 339 for her...out of 800gurls i think...goodness...hahax..but watever lar...then e guys started their race...they are super fast...but my cg all e guys useless de...*oops* no one in top 30......

anywae...me..tm...wf..timo...went to hwei ting hse after lunch...her hse was super big...erm...3 storey n 1 attic...she got a drum set at home also...tm was tryin to play...but well...it didnt turn out well lar...hahax...then played games...tok...left at 3pm...then went home le...

goodness...o's result out on fri...hmm...scary...i dreamt of my l1r5 last nitex..it was 12...i think got sumthin like b3 for eng....forgot e rest...i dunwan stay in tpjc!!!! can my o's result bring me to mj?? aj??

hmm...yesterdae mornin went to e temple to pray for my ah gong...every sat suppose to go down till e 49 daes....then my ah ma started tearin again...haixx...guess she had been tearin almost everydae...is like when she cry...all e adults tried to comfort her..then rest of us cousins are like...'now wad?' guess we just had to let her cry it out...no point askin her to stop cryin...is so hard to suppress ur emotions...haixx...furthermore...51 years of marriage...and one dae...the other half leave u...hu wun be heart broken...hmm...

anyway..we went home after tat...then went to my uncle hse for dinner later in e evenin...glad to see tat my ah ma okie le...then played carroms with my cousins...i got lousy aiming...cant seem to win them...then had dinner...continued chattin n luffin...was playin mimi with em..hahax...!! e thought of it just makes me luff...cos my aunty ate it down...wonder wad is tat?? ask me and i'll play it...hahax...ritex cousins?? then e phone rang...a call frm my aunty..sayin my ah ma fainted downstair...she was abt to go home le...then suddenly fainted...this aint e first time she fainted le..tat time she also cry until she faint...haixx...then my uncle n dad send her to e hospital...while e rest of us stayed at my uncle hse...not to worry...my ah ma was fine...

reach home ard 11plus...finished up my econs hw...then played sims...hahax...then went to slp at 1...

lesson ended at 12.10pm todae...exceptionally glad...hahax...but todae chi lesson was fun...cos e presentation by e 'ya long ji' grp was hilarious...hahax...e chi teacher ask e class to name our grp endin wif chicken de...so got all e furnie names...anywae...we are suppose to do the 12 sheng xiao thingy....plan a story...n act it out...quite furnie lar...cos i see e first grp present...i nearly luff my head off...so e dae ended well wif an enjoyable chi lesson...=D then our grp wan on to discuss abt our script...left ard 1plus...suppose to meet him at 2 at j8...but obviously i was late...reach there ard 2.35pm...felt so bad...make his frenx n him waited so long....SoRrIe!!!

anywae...took a bus down to sum place...sumwhere beside catholic sch...then e guys played bball...n i was tryin to mingle ard wif all his frenx... ppl i nva see before...goodness...but the ppl were pretty nice thou...i think quite diff frm jc...cos jc ppl are study orientated...they wun be out whole dae wif big bunch of frenx till night...at least for my frenx...i guess...anywae...return home ard 8plus...cooked instant noodle...then bathe and here i am le...