starting work proper!

been awhile since i updated my blog! so it goes...

happy graduation from our Chrysallis training program! here we are, the 20 of us, no one less! =)) been a journey for us, the ups and downs, the angst with the HR, the joy from the various attachments, and now we are officially deployed! hurray!

GROUP C! the most fortunate thing that happened in the training program was to be part of this group =) we played hard and we worked hard, and LOOK! WE GOT THE BEST GROUP PRESENTATION AWARD! DAMN PROUD OF OURSELVES *CLAPS. we were the group that everyone else thought was the 'slackest' because we either left office on the dot, or we left at 5pm =/ but hey, we still got our work done at the end of the day, and we did it well =)cheers!

life has moved on, and we each got our deployment

it has been a month at probation services branch, and i have written my first pre-sentence report to the court! i finally feel like im doing work proper now =)

harloweeeen night!

It's halloween night at USS! =) totally impromptu trip to USS because the tickets we bought were meant for end october, and for some reason, we went early than expected. but it came timely i suppose. because its has been a long weeeeek for me, a whole week of grumpy-ness and angst. i guess the ghost did a great job scaring me, and scaring away all the grumpy-ness and angst accumulated over the week. well done!

and yes, its my first time going for halloween event! and USS looked totally different during the halloween night. so spoooky!

and yes, so we entered all the 3 haunted houses. and im so proud of myself! i think im so brave and calm! minus the occasional squeak when the monsters/ghosts caught me unaware. heh! but the haunted houses were really good with the set-up, and the make-up those monsters/ghost had were awesome too. like really down to the details kind. managed to take a few rides as well. a pity human and cyclone weren't operating....boooooo....oh welll. but its fine, I still enjoyed myself =D

ended the night at 1am, and i totally knocked out in the cab. had too much fun, and was too tireddddd.

fairies reunite!

went for therapy in the morning, and headed to airport to meet fairies for lunch. as usual, none were punctual =/ i should have known better, and arrive an hr later or smth! oh well.

the latte mocha that kept me awake while i waited for them! 

and yes, so the last member of fairies came at 4.15pm when we arranged to meet at 2.30pm. thank goodness they are my close clique, if not i'll totally be judging the person that came so late. anw, despite all the punctuality issues, we had full strength today! =)) it has been a good half a yr since we last met with 100% attendance rate *thumbs up. had a good time catching up, and we are never short of craziness when we come together =))

went to boyf's place thereafter, and he handed me this!

the story unfolded as i went through each picture card. (until now, i have no idea how u made that)

thank you for putting in the effort to make smth for me despite all your busy schedules. you always amazed me with the little things that you do. the story pretty much explained what i've been through and how i felt (thou im still uncertain abt the ending). thanks, and happy mthsary! =)

dinner with the family

dinner with the family at st regis! =) counting down to 5 days before er jie and brother-in-law takes the plane to UK! so excitinggggg. but im worried for them at the same time. mixed feelings. what if my sis goes home late at night, will it be safe? what if there are burglars? what if she forgot to lock her apartment's door? too many what ifs. so sister, PLEASE STAY SAFE OVERSEAS! 

i made a frame for er jie to bring over uk =) i feel so proud of myself *self pat on back. now i cant wait to fly over to uk next year! =)

work!

attachment at the child protection branch made me learnt quite a bit, and exposed me to a lot more stuff. to think we could just go to school with our escorts (just in case the girl decide to run) to bring a girl to court. quite drama i thought, its like what we will see on tv sort of thing. and court hearing is like queuing for polyclinic. first we have to register, and patiently wait for hours before we can sit in the court hearing. and in no less than 5 mins, the verdict is out. i feel for the parents who filed for BPC against their daughter, it's never an easy decision to make, but im sure what they did is right, and their daughter will one day grow to realize their good intentions.    

and yes, so during our attachment with the child protection branch, we need to prepare for a debate. so my group's topic was 'state intervention is ineffective in intrafamilial child abuse'. apparently, they invited what seemed like 50 people to be present for the debate session *speechless

our factory worker outfit! lol. its quite funny to walk into the room seeing everyone in the same attire. haahha! =D and apparently i was in the opposition team, and i didn't realize i said 'the preposition believes that .....' omg. no wonder the audience were smiling at me =/


moving on....

its friday the thirteen, and its KAREN'S BIRTHDAY! =))) happpppy birthdayyyyyyy! and cheers to having new pair of shoes to wear =) may everything be good for you from now on! (it will! because when u hit the bottom, you can only move up!)

boyf

dinner at the platters with boyf. good wine, good food, good company =)

 and thanks again for cheering me up whenever i feel edgy/irritated/down.

doesnt help when he wants to take a photo when im eating ice cream =/

uni mates!

met up with my uni friends for dinner =) they are probably my only surviving uni friends that will still put in the effort to keep up with each other. much appreciated that they remain in my circle of friends =)) keep it going!

and that makes me wonder, by the time i hit 50 years old, how many people would remain in my circle of friends?

dinner with the family

lunch with the family + brother-in-law's family at regent hotel. 

sisters' power! =D

totally lazy to speak more.

sikh wedding!

first time attending a sangeet party/ ceremony at singapore khalsa association =) for once, i experienced how it is like being the minority. so while i was at the dinner, and still confused with what's a sangeet party/ceremony, i decided to whip out my phone and googled it. 

"Sangeet ceremony as the name suggests is all about dance and music. It is one of the most enjoyable ceremonies before the wedding and is exclusively for women. Initially, the sangeet party was organized only by the bride's family but with changing times it is now observed by the groom's family as well. Also, it was a ritual which was only seen in North Indian weddings, but nowadays it is conducted in Bengali and South Indian marriages as well. 

Sangeet ceremony is held few days before mehndi ceremony and comes as a time for joy and merriment amidst the hectic hustling bustling activities before marriage. Amidst celebration, ladies, crack jokes, tease the bride, merrily reminisce their youthful days and bless the girl for a prosperous married life".

mmm. so that's it. something new. cultural competency =)

with narin the bride!!! =) this is the brightest outfit i have ever seen her in. nice! =D haven seen narin for a good half a yr, but im really happy to see that things are going on well for her. and she is probably the few that proved that a long distance relationship can work out =D

and thank goodness u accompanied me! if not i would have turned into a fossil while waiting for charis and shehnas to come.

anyway, dinner started at close to 9pm, and they started dancing to the loud music thereafter. it was damn entertaining to see charis, shehnas and narin dancing away. heh. had a good time videoing the whole process =)))

ended the day at 10 plus! totally tired by then. 

presentation day!

one presentation down!!!! hurray!!! im so glad this is over. the preparation for presentation made me felt as if im seeing no end to it. come to think about it, we came such a long way conceptualizing and finalizing our presentation content, so goood job girls! we are done with this! 2 more to go!

the happy char siew baos before our presentation =)) im really thankful for having such awesome group members =)) we work hard and play hard!

date with ryl

thanks for the dinner and after dinner treat ryl! =) it was only a short 2hr plus meet-up (thanks to your boss for making you OT), but im really thankful! i always feel at ease and comfortable when i meet you, and all my negative thoughts will disappear momentarily. thanks for making my otherwise unhealthy thoughts a healthier one =) *hugs

headed to boy's home in the afternoon for hari raya celebration! abit silly actually, for us to travel from defu ave all the way to jurong =/ zzzz. and i was so tempted to claim my birthday time-off but i didnt in the end. because i wanted to see how boy's home looks like. heh.

but i soon realized it was such a mistake to go boy's home because i got sabo-ed to do a fashion walk in front of all the people in the hall =/ omg. kill me pls. so apparently the emcees were looking for 3 volunteers to participate in their fashion walk, and one of my colleagues arrowed me because she claimed it was my birthday. and so the whole hall of people sang happy birthday song for me and i had to do a catwalk in front of everyone. OMG. i really wanted to find a hole and hide like seriously. an experience indeed.

ok, putting the embarrassing moment aside, here's a pretty cupcake that my colleagues bought =)

and thank you colleagues for all your cards =))) i'll pin them up when i get my own table! =)))

and my day ended with a steamboat buffet with  boyf =)) noms!

loved.

my first hari raya celebration at shehnas's house =) it has been quite awhile since i last saw all of them. reminded me of the good old prison days when work is nothing too taxing (doing interviews and writing papers) but shopping online, making chicken wraps and mug cakes in office, going for yoga classes, having a cup of coffee at chock full of beans, counting down to the end of work, bitching about others and much more. reminiscing those days....

yes, shehnas's house looked like a cosy cottage =)) and mama shehnas prepared yummy pasta and chicken wraps (yes chicken wrap! exactly the same as what we had in office back then) for all of us =))so we had a good chat over dinner as we shared stories about our workplaces. come to think abt it, HAPPY 1 YR OF FRIENDSHIP! just a yr ago, we were all newbies at prison hq. heh!

and the girls surprised me with a birthday cake =) awwww. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

and my birthday gifts =))) much appreciated!

and so we ended the day at close to 11pm. could have stayed longer if not for work the next day =/ zzzz. it was reallly nice to see of them again =))) the warm fuzzy feeling.

and yes, so i reached home and walked past the kitchen, and as i walked past, i took a second glance again. because i saw boyfii, mum and sister standing at a corner in the kitchen with boyfii holding many many tarts with a candle on it. OMG! really caught me by surprise. *teary eyes

thank you soooo muchhhhhh for making the effort to surprise me, and having to wait for me for a good 3.5hrs before i finally reached home.

thank you for the box that you made, the note that you wrote, and the earrings too! =D i feel loved for the friends that i have, and for you.

insights

i'm so actively updating my blog nowadays because my supervisor is away, and i have no one to shadow.

work was fun yet tiring yesterday. we were on shift work from 1pm till 8pm, and we were attached to the blocks where the girls resided. so i was basically running on the ground yesterday (thank goodness because i almost died working in the ops room previously staring at cctv and opening and closing doors for people like a security guard). so for the first time, i saw how strip checks and body search were conducted, how the girls were treated inside the home, i saw how police officers brought girls in for remand in handcuffs, we escorted girls from point to point, and i moved from levels to levels, dorms to dorms delivering food for the girls, squeezing toothpaste and shampoo for them (they have no access to these items because they might just eat/drink the toothpaste/shampoo in an attempt to commit suicide). i saw girls crying in their dorms, i saw girls giving attitude to us, i have girls calling me 'amanda' because they thought i look like one. i found out that remanded girls were not given utensils during meals for reasons that i do not know. it was actually fun to be on the ground because i really saw alot of things i didnt see before. yet at the same time IT WAS DAMN TIRING. i felt i lost at least 1 kg climbing up and down the stairs. and yes, time flew by so i was happpy =)

and i was pleasantly surprised to find boyf outside girl's home after i knocked off. thanks for travelling all the way from ntu just to meet me at such a ulu pandan place =)

i never knew hair matters so much to me until i realised i was dropping freaking more than 100 strands a day for the past 3 months. trust me, the feeling sucks totally. its easy for ppl to say 'don't worry, the hair will grow back", yes im sure they will or rather thats what the dermatologist claimed as well, but hey, its really not that simple to brush it aside and tell myself not to worry. it sucks to wake up in the morning and having to go through the whole motion of hair dropping everywhere u go. it sucks really. im trying so hard to stay positive and telling myself that 'hey, short hairs are sprouting on ur head alr!', but at the end of the day, when i slp at night,i cried still. its disrupting my life. rawr. i cant help but to be superficial and say that my hair defines who i am to an extent.

updates!

national day and hari raya celebration with the girls at girl's home! =) felt as if i was back in school again. having to go for assembly in the hall, singing the national anthem, saying the pledge, and feeling all patriotic singing the many national day songs. so nostalgic! the performance put up by the girls were pretty impressive, and glad to see them having so much fun =)

went with my supervisor to see a girl in the late afternoon, and i was really intrigued by the girl. traits of borderline personality disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, ADHD, acute stress reaction.....all the labels thrown on her, sometimes i really wonder what with all these labels. i cant help entering the room, painting an impression of how this girl would be like based on all these labels. but i was wrong to judge. yes, she is definitely not an easy case to deal with, and i admit i was a little afraid of her because i felt as if she's gonna launch an attack at me anytime, but at the end of the day, labels are just labels, and my perception should not have been clouded by them. ok, just some food for thought.

life suckssss

life sucks. i look in the mirror everyday and i think im ugly. sigh. i came to realise how it is not easy to change one's thinking. does cognitive therapy really works in that case? its hard to have positive thinking at times. its easy for people to dismiss your worries, but you know its hard for yourself to dismiss whatever worries and concerns you have. you just cant.

therapy yesterady was drama mama. the kid found pleasure engaging in the 'gag' action, and he did until he vomitted. AND I HAVE TO CLEAN IT UP because his mother went out, and his maid had her off day. so i cleaned and i almost wanted to puke as well =x then we moved on, and continued with session while he tried to make the 'gag' action over n over again, which irritated me because it just disrupted the whole session.rawr. then i brought him to the toilet, and after he cleaned himself with the toilet paper, he threw it into the toilet bowl by putting his hand in the toilet bowl water *gasp. and i tried to get him to wash his hands before he pull up his shorts but to no avail.

i feel more like a nanny than a therapist.

work is getting interesting now that im attached to girls' home. sat in for interview sessions with the girls, and went vivo with supervisor to bring the girl to collect her pay. fun! =)

hello migraine, pls go away.

happy birthday sister!

so the day started with me going for therapy in the morning, then off to meet er jie in town in the afternoon. and seriously, i bumped into so many ppl in town. saw charlene three times from orchard to somerset, saw anthea, saw shiling, saw people i didnt want to see. zzzz. anw, i finally bought my bandage skirt from stradivarius =) yay! off we left to meet parents, dajie and linus for dinner, and we went back home for cakes and moscato =)

happy birthday da jie! =DD

happy 1 mth at work!

4th week into work now! so 20 newbies were introduced to the foundation training program that will last a good four months. and the 20 of us were then splitted into 4 groups.

tadah! my group members! =D group C for char siew, and that made us char siew baos being members of char siew.

i think im really really thankful my group members are all easy going and fun to work with =) things could have been much different if we were in different groups (just saying.....). although it has only been 4 weeks, they have already seen me cry. try as much not to let my emotions show, i think when i hit the peak, everything just spells out on my face. loser. but anw, really really do want to thank them for being supportive and giving me words of encouragement. appreciated much! i will get thru it!

holiday no more

cant believe my two weeks of break just zoomed by. ITS FIRST DAY OF WORK TML! *scream! how nice if i were to have just one more week...just one more weeeeekkk plssss! sigh. i have yet to feel excited about work tmr.

Oh well.

Anw! dinner with parents and sis at skinny pizzaa ydae! yumss =D

then headed to st regis for a drink :))) because awesome sister had $200 drinking voucher to spare. heh!! :))

photos were abit um mo mo cos e place was so dimly lit. but it was nice just chilling n sipping our drinks :))