PRESS ON!

JUST 8 MORE DAYSS!!!!

its reading week!!!

so jealous to see that ntu and smu students have already ended their exams =( and nus has yet to start!

seriously cant wait for holidays to come!! but when holiday comes, boyfriend will be flying to aust for 3 weeks =(( so should i anticipate my holidays?

nvm. i'll make my holidays packed with activities. im planningggggg!!!

the first thing that i will organise is KBOX WITH THE FAIRIES!!! as i've promised mok! hee! then i'll find someone to teach me roller blade! and i'll go cycling all day long! AND SHOPPINGGGG!! and sitting down at random cafes to drink and talk! meet boyfriend all the time before he flies off and after he comes back! arts camp! finding work! go holiday with family! =DD whee! so exciting! IM MOTIVATED TO STUDYYYYYYYY!!!


ah sian gave fairies each a packet of STUDY PACK! so sweeeettt =DDD it will make me study harder!!! =))) THANK YOU!!! i've already eaten the cereal biscuit =)

ps: MOK! i heard u went to buy a box of that low caloric cereal biscuit! HAHA!

preserved mango from boyfriend!! haahhaha!!! to keep me going while i study! after tasting brands of mango, i've come to a conclusion that ego brand's preserved mango taste the nicest! haha! it has got the exact taste that i want. lots of vinegar! hee...

okay! back to studying!

cant wait for sem to just end!

sometimes listening to songs make me think alot. just what im doing now worth doing? sometimes i cant imagine myself working in the future. will i even go on further to take masters in psychology so i can practise as a psychologist or just graduate with honour degree and be some counsellor or smth else? shrugged.

finally submitted computing web pages and my phyics book review is finally almost done =)

left with presentation on mon, stats report and social psych report =(

ROARS!

if only i wake up the next day to find that my stats report is completed, i'll do anything u ask me to =)

SIGH. BIG SIGH. im finally getting a slight idea on how to write the report. thats a good sign. but there is still quite a fair bit that im not sure. bad sign.

whatever. i know i will complete it soon somehow or rather!

my laptop gave me heart attack and made me feel really frustrated at times. imagine switching on ur laptop just to realise that everything is gone except your recycle bin at the desktop or unable to log into my desktop despite several tries. i swear i almost died! imagine typing 1200 words for my physics book review just to realise that POOF! its gone! OMG! but luckily, both times, i was saved.

im actually blogging to keep myself awake to do my stats report!!!!

and my persistence paid off! boyfriend played the violin today!!! =D yea, after MUCH effort, he finally agreed!



i bet his violin has laid inside for too long. violin says "IM COOPED INSIDE FOR AGES =(( "



so here u go. violin says " IM OUT FINALLY =))"

HEE!=D

anyway, i suddenly realise how dependent i am on boyfriend nowadays. that day allena was still asking me whether im dependent or not. haha! now i think abt it, maybe i am.

boyfriend helps to repair my laptop when something goes wrong or at least he tries figuring it out even though it may not work. (i'll probably just stare at the laptop and pray it works)
boyfriend taught me how to download things with torrent
boyfriend helps me convert videos to dunno what format so i can put into my web pages
boyfriend uses all ways and means and finally resort to using his keys just to help me poke open a packet of preserved mango that im dying to eat
boyfriend leads the way wherever we go, so i rely much on him for directions (i've no sense of direction)
boyfriend is there for me when im sad and hug me when i cry
boyfriend peels the prawn for me because i didnt want to dirty my hands

okay too many to list. in short, whenever i needed help, boyfriend will always be there to help me solve even if it is just tiny weeny little things like opening a packet of preserved mango. sometimes boyfriend made me feel like some pampered girl. SOMETIMES. not always. hah! =p

alright. back to studying!!!

i dunwan to study already =(( no mood.

studied in the morning + tried to do stats report in the afternoon + went out to meet boyfriend in the evening+ project meeting online at night= TODAY

because it is 'happy 19th month' today, i decided to be a good gf. travelled ALL THE WAY to YEWTEE to find boyfriend after his work =) ended up at yishun thinking what to eat. settled with 8 pieces of sushi and one stick of mushroom. headed next to my house's roof garden to have our dinner =) simple yet sweet =))

but im abit hungry now =( hahah!

i cant wait for the sem to end. exams to end. I WANT HOLIDAYS TO COME! QUICK!

someone teach me how to write statistic report!!!!! ahhhhh!

im so slpyyy...mummy woke me up at 8.30am to eat wanton mee =S SLEEEEEPPPYYYY.....and since i woke up...i didnt wan to go back to slp especially when i just eaten such a heavy breakfast. so here i am struggling to keep myself awake. stayed up last night downloading spss and i realised i cant run it this morning!! its either i don't know how to run it or simply cant run it. so had to download another time AGAIN.

went boyfriend's hse in the morning yesterday. took me ONE HOUR to wake him up. and i can smell all the alcohol when he talks! TELL U DON'T DRINK SO MUCH ALREADY!!! RAHHHH! anyway, wanted to run home frm his house but by the time he gets himself out of bed, already 11.45 already. sun was out by then. so ended up, we just went to the gym. then went up to his house to rest. and i tried to ton my arms with a 1kg weight. ahah! i did 45 times for each side! yea, 45 times after boyfriend kept asking me to continue. NOW MY ARMS ARE ACHING!! and i dug out boyfriend's violin from his cupboard and kept pestering him to play. BUT TO NO AVAIL despite me using desperate extreme measures. HORRIBLE! although he suggested playing piano instead...BUT I ONLY WANT HIM TO PLAY VIOLIN! whats so difficult with that=((( waited for him to bathe and he came over my hse. cooked maggi mee for him to eat. went to bathe and we headed to cityhall. walked n walked n walked from cityhall to suntec just to buy yogurt and walked back to raffles city. met up with mok n sian at soup spoon for dinner. boyfriend joined us but he promised not to talk. hahahah! poor boy!=( i know bf making effort to get to know my friends but sometimes, it needs to work both way. sorry boyfriend! i guess it was awkward for both sides =( but im not blaming any sides. no worries. like what ah mok says, just leave it ba.

and i saw nice dresses when i was walking with ah na! we both tried the dress and we think it looks good. but no more stock le =( left last piece...so both of didnt buy.

i dreamt bf's ex came to find him and he went away with his ex =((( we must have talked too much about his ex in the afternoon =/

MUSCLE ACHING everywhere! calfs, stomach, arms!

finally its friday! i had classes from 12 to 6pm straight for 3 consecutive days! thats tiring =( boyfriend came clementi to find me after his work and pei me home =)

and i better get back to my computing work =(

IM HAPPY TODAY! =D hee.

i skipped physics lecture yesterday! although i did not want to, but i had no choice =( had a bad cramp and i pulled through psych lecture with much effort and decided, i should just go home. the 1 and half hour journey home was torturous given the excruciating pain. just felt like sitting down on the pathway and not budge. hopped on 95 to bv station. sat at the seats while waiting for train and i stood my way from bv to outram. and my legs were shivering away and those aunties just got to push me. ANGRY. and the constant feeling of wanting to vomit made me felt so sick. finally alighted and gosh, i was walking at such a tortoise speed i felt the distance from outram(ewl) to outram(nel) was donkey miles apart. how i wish someone could just pick me up and fly me home. HAH! too much of vitual world. anyway, knew i wouldnt have seats if i boarded at outram. so i trained to harbourfront. just slept through my way but the pain refused to subside. dragged myself to interchange to take 83 and FINALLY GOT HOME. and it was when i reached home that i vomitted. and i cried =( felt i was so poor thing to endure through lecture and endure through the ardous journey home and endure through the horrible feeling of vomitting. yea, and i was all alone whenever this kind of thing happen. I THINK IM SUCH A STRONG GIRL! *pat on my back*

i think i should see a doctor. who on earth has such bad cramps that they vomit? and this isnt the first time already. na was telling me to see a doctor, otherwise i get conditioned to it. HAH. which i felt so true.

stimulus - cramps
unconditioned stimulus - vomitting
conditioned stimulus - vomit when i have cramps

alright. back to studying!

haha! guess what? im in sch now! killing time! haha! 45mins of break cant allow me to do much anyway, so i shall just blog! hee. but i think it kind of feel weird blogging with so many other people around me. okay. stop here.

lecture in another 15mins!

who says pineapple tarts should only be eaten during chinese new year?!

hah! cox i made pineapple tarts with my mum today! okay, actually i only helped to put the pineapple filling. not much of a help =/ hah!



notice the smiley faces at the bottom? hahahaha! thats my family! 5 smiley faces! hah! i feel like a kid playing with dough. and my mum made one smiley face with sausage lip and we kept laughing about it.



and we ran out of pineapple filling so we decide to substitute with chocolate chips. BUT THE CHOCOLATE CHIPS DIDNT MELT! oh well..it still taste alright...like nutella spread on cookie...hahah!

IM SERIOUSLY NOT IN ANY MOOD TO STUDY =((( and that bothers me a WHOLE LOT! im walking everywhere around the house just so i wouldnt have to sit down and read my physics book. sigh. feeling so unaccomplished other than completing my computing tut and going through one chpt of it in the morning. GIVE ME THE MOTIVATION!

met fairies ( except ryl =( ) at ah chew dessert. without spending 2 to 3 hrs sitting at the table, u can't expect us to leave the place. so we each ordered our dessert but wasnt satisfied, so we shared another 2 bowls. hee. ah mok kind of reminded me of my jc days when i tried all means to control diet. haha! not that i don't do that now, but to a lesser extent i suppose. hah! i guess its just a phase that we go through. okay, i know it doesnt apply to all. but when u feel you cant control anything at all, diet is the only way u can! hah! pardon my nonsense but is true. kind of. when u start looking and observing people around you, u envy those skinnier than u and u think 'hey, it wouldnt hurt to lose a few more kgs just to be the ideal self' and dieting kicks in and yes, especially true when a single comment is present as well. i think it is especially true for me because so long as anyone comment anything about my appearance, i see the need to do something about it. and it dawned on me 'hey, is that called low self esteem? that i do not believe in myself? that i consistently seek approval from others to reassure myself?' hmm. actually i think i do have low self esteem. especially so during jc. thats a long story. when u kind of have a serious pimple outbreak in jc, kind of put on a few kgs, kind of just simply flunked ur exams all the time and of course, coupled with critical comments from others, u just feel disgusted about yourself. yea. i do get disgusted by myself. in fact, i haven been looking at myself in the mirror during those days and i think it totalled to 2 yrs. and even if i did, i took off my specs since my myopia kind of blurred everything and even if i looked in the mirror to tidy my hair, i focus only on my hair and not my face or i only look at the reflection from the window panes. yea, thats how saddening it was. i will never forget what my aunty said to me because it hurt me alot. it may just be a passing comment, but if u said it during a sensitive period, thats damaging. (its funny why im talking about the past and im tearing now). and now that my aunty do comment abt my sis at times, i feel like strangling them because i noe exactly how it feels. but yea, not only aunty, friends around you do comment too. and u just try laughing it away when u know deep down, u just feel like hiding somewhere. i hate meeting people especially long lost friends during that time because im avoiding further comments. but oh well, really glad i made great friends like the FAIRIES during those days. indirectly, they gave me the support i needed and of course, i felt myself when im with them. and yes, its funny why i agreed to meet boyfriend for the first time after not meeting at all since graduation from sec sch. hah. call it fate then or maybe he makes me feel comfortable. he allows my confidence to grow back. hah. okay, now i make him sound so noble.

oh well. i think for the past 19++ years, there were only 2 incidences that got me so upset. thats one i mentioned. and another was alevel results. and thinking about that. i think i found my motivation to study!!!!!

okay, im sharing too much abt my personal life. stop here!

bulimia presentation is finally over! 1 down!

now im left with
- book review for physics book 2000 words
- statistic report for psychology
- social psychology project
- social psychology individual assignment
- web design for computing

okay, i hope all these will end soon!

and i have been eating honeydew for the past don't know how many days. i think my mum bought 8 honeydews. so as we had our slices of honeydew, mummy and daddy would start comparing which honeydew is the sweetest. so far, they said day 1 honeydew is the sweetest, day 2 isnt as sweet compared to day 1, day 3 was better than day 2 and blah blah blah, i kind of forgot what they had said anyway. hah! nvm. random.

was walking along the walkway when i bump into allena! hahaha! and so i got a ride to yio chu kang =D hahaha!

blog later! go eat honeydew!

I LOVE MY WEEKENDS!!! =D

sat
out early in the morning at 10 plus am. headed to boyfriend's place. initial plan was to go for a run, but it rained in the morning =/ so i decided not to run since the ground will be wet anyway. boyfriend helped me convert youtube video to wmv file so i could upload it to my webpage. ate something for lunch, watched abit of show and out we went to town. walked for hours in town and finally settled in manhattann for dinner. my treat! hah! i counted.i think for the past 18mths, i only paid for the bill 6 times or so. so i think its time i treat boyfriend to dinner =) yami yogurt for dessert and boyfriend came over to my place. great help for my webpage assignment! =D oh! and theres something exciting going on for my computing tutorial! we will be having virtual classes. sounds cool...but i feel that is not really practical. i rather have lessons as in REAL lessons. anyway, i was creating my avatar for secondlife. boyfriend stayed till 12am at my house having fun with dressing n changing the features of the character. and it has a name! coconut hunniton! haahha! don't ask me why hunniton. i don't really have much choices. i was thinking of coconut hazelnut. HAH! the other available choices were none the better so i just settled for it.

sun
started doing my presentation slides on bulimia and watching my sun wu kong show. went out in the late afternoon with boyfriend and his family to ikea. had hotdog bun and ice cream. headed to courts to see aircon for boyfriend's room and off we went for dinner. somewhere near tanah merah country club. hah! im bad with directions. just know is a place where the airplanes fly over our head. where we sit at the sandy beach. where we see the sunset.

bf's dad: is nic romantic?
me: NO!like concrete block.
bf's dad: HAHa!
bf's mum: huh? what?
bf's dad: like a block
bf's mum: HAHA!
bf: inherit from u one what
bf's dad: no! u can ask ur mum
bf's dad: nvm, when i free i will teach him
me: OKAY =D

haha! just thought the convo was funny =)

end of mid term! =DDDDD

like finally. hah! although i only had 2 papers and shouldnt be complaining how tired i am from studying but STILL...I AM TIRED FROM STUDYING N I DESERVE A BREAK! =)))

and i think i can start making my own template for my blog =) so cool! okay..i will do it when im free =)

its a perfect saturday and im up at 7.50am when i slept at 2am last night! its funny i never seem to enjoy the moments lying on bed and slping just awhile longer,weird? yea i think its weird... and no matter what time i turn in the night before, i always find myself waking up around the same time...like 8am or 8.30am...my biological clock is well tuned. hah!

met boyfriend yesterday after sch. but i hopped on the wrong train at clementi because boyfriend was in the train after mine. so i alighted at dover and boyfriend msged and say he was reaching dover. so i hopped on the train that just arrived but i couldnt find him in the train. so i alighted again at bv statn only to find out that he was in that train!!! RAH! so angry! keep alighting and boarding! got me so $#$^%&*&(! nvm...after all the trouble, we just met at bugis straight! steamboat for dinnerr after much consideration!!!! i met shiru and her bf! haha! so qiao! they came to eat at the same place too! =)) after our full dinner, we went walking around to find present for boyfriend's friend and hm at 10.30pm =)

met john yesteday to buy books for physics book review =/ mere thoughts of reading a physics book is enough to put me off, what more writing a review of it =// and that book costs 50 dollars! luckily we split the cost and we intend to sell it to prof since its a newly published book and he hasnt gotten a copy of it. off i went serangoon to wait for my parents to pick me up. alighted at serangoon station and i walked the 'familiar route' back 'home'. hah! so many years since i last cut through the blocks of flats...walked past the PAP where i used to study...and guess what? THE UNCLE AND AUNTY WORKING AT THE MAMA SHOP IS STILL THE SAME! and since my parents have yet to arrive, i decided to take a lift up to my old hse. just to reminisce the days =) hah! sounds so emo. but oh well, at least i stayed there for 15years and there's lots to reminisce. hah! and i tried to peep in a little when i walked past my old house cox the door was opened. but the fear of taking the lift still remains. i think im conditioned to it. yea, i always have the feeling that somehow or rather i will be stucked in the lift or when i looked at the reflection in the lift, i'll see someone that shouldnt be seen. hah! so i always took the stairs. lucky i stayed the 4th storey then. and walking the down the stairs reminded me of my dreams as well. i dreamt a couple of times of my old hse's staircase and it wasnt pleasant. its either im running away from someone or im afraid being alone.

okay. done reminiscing. waited at the bus stop for my parents, fetched my sis along the way as well and went to cousin's house for dinner! its her 21st birthday party and we were really early. and one uncle whom my sisters n i have not met for at least 5 years couldnt recognise us and he thought we were friends of my cousins -_-''
yea..and we laughed at it after that. dinnered...played with niece...cut the cake...and home! boyfriend came to pick me up at 11 and we went jalan kayu to buy tau huay and off to seletar reservior. its amazing that everyone is as free as us to go there at night. haha! lots of people there. sat down, enjoyed the breeze and ate our tau huay =) so we went exploring around the place, driving past creepy old run down houses, weeds and grass n bushes, some bar and we even went by seletar camp. sat at the rooftop garden awhile and back home at 1plus.

MID TERM BREAK!!! ~WHEE!

there goes half a sem! so fast.

i think i shld take a rest this weekend and start studying from mon onwards =)

and i was helping my sis with some 'rp' kind of thing n i cant think of anything that i've succeeded in my life or anything that made me happy =( seriously speaking..i really don't know what i've succeeded...like getting an A* for chinese in psle? A1 for pure literature in olevels? screwed up my alevels but still managed to get a place in uni? is that what we call succeeded? hah...i doubt so..and what makes me happy? i only rmb getting my psle results was the only time i felt okay..i wasnt happy with my olevels result and alevels was worst. =( and first sem cap wasnt good too...n i start to think i cant do well in exams even though i've worked hard for it =(

sigh. nvm. i'll prove myself wrong.

and anw...academic isnt the only field that one can succeed...i'll find out where's the other...

anw, met boyfriend after sch ydae...went cityhall hoping to catching a movie but it was selling fast..so ended up at pasta waraku for dinner...walked around..bought a bottle for boyfriend, looked for bags and shoes and headed to boyfriend hse at night..and his mum gave me pineapple tarts! hahha! make me feel as if im a dying fan of pineapple tarts..heh! so i get all the pineapple tarts i want after cny =))boyfriend drove me hm n off he went out...

it feels good to spend time with boyfriend especially after a super long n tiring day in sch and i realised...we do do retarded things like trying to change the cap of the bottle and hoping the shop owner won't realise because boyfriend couldnt decide whether he wanted the red or black bottle..so he decided to get the best of both by swapping the cap of the 2 bottles and the combi turned out gd. we acted as if we didnt do anything...and we went to pay up..hah! and we think she didnt realised we swapped the cap until we asked her whether we can swapped the cap then she realised 'HEY, U CANT SWAP THE CAP!' okay nvm..the whole thing was just funny =p

im so dying to slp now but there is online discussion for psyc! rahhh! im just like staring at the screen, waiting for ppl to say something then i try to add on to it...SLEEPYYYYYYYYYY!

im a HAPPY girl today! =)

went boyfriend hse in the morning to pass him present and off to ps to meet na and mr.random for lunch at aston! haha! everyone was starving then so no pictures taken! booooo! and yes..good to see boyfriend n na talking! peace treaty! YAY! =p

and it definitely felt good forgetting abt everything else and just spending my entire day with boyfriend =)

and we finally made it for our hike!


here's the map..hah! boyfriend actually printed it out...


so we started off climbing up mt faber with many many many many many flights of stairs


and here i am! henderson wave at long last! hah! i think i look like some weather broadcaster...haha...




i thought this looks so cartoon! boyfriend got this 'want to laugh but dun wan to laugh face' and i look retarded! hah!


then it was the forest walk! i love this part!


hahah!! spot me! boyfriend's idea to take the shot...


boyfriend's idea again! hah!


and yes! my bouquet of roses! hah! i wasnt really expecting boyfriend to give a bouquet because he always tell me is a waste of money...but he did! hah! i guess i must have brainwashed him cox i kept telling him he's such a concrete block to think that way and i prob nva receive one.


HAHA! THIS ONE IS FUNNY!

boyfriend: what u wan for vday?
me: i wan pineapple tart! haven eaten any for cny!

and so i got pineapple tarts! hah!

anyway...we continued walking and walking till we reached alexander arch and we exited!

took a bus down to holland village..went sushi tei for some sushi and off we took a bus hm!


HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY BOYFRIEND! <3 hugs!

IM TRYING TO STUDYYYY!!!!! physics module aint too bad afterall...i realise im spending more time studying for my electives then my core modules...like how i realise computing can be interesting too! i seemed to have lost focus in psychology! everyone is busy with their school work now...and i look at myself..what am i busy with? i have no assignments due..i have no tut to rush...and looking at such a busy schedule i had last sem...i just felt uneasy..yea..when u got too many things to do...u complain..when u have none...u complain too...now it seems as if something is missing...did i like miss a tutorial class again? or did i forget to submit assignment when im supposed to? or is there some projects that i ought to start now? rahhh...anxiety disorder i call it...worrying unnecessarily...

back to study physics! i feeling fat again! and boyfriend just had to make me eat a proper meal last night =/

MAY I HAVE THE MOOD TO STUDYYYY!!! pull cap pull cap!

i have alot alot of things to blog about but im just too lazy to backtrack. social psychology lecture was cancelled yesterday which explained y i ended sch at 4pm yesterday! which is good because im meeting the fairies for our reunion dinner! haha! yea, our so called reunion dinner that we ate when cny is nearing the end...not the other way round. met up with na in sch and we headed to bugis to walk around while we wait for the rest. almost couldnt have a full attendence but well...lucky we still did. dinner was at some thai and chi restaurant..ordered dishes and rice..and that started our talkings for 3hours...yea..blabbering non stop it probably accounts to less than what i speak in school for an entire week. yea..na and i agree no one in uni can laugh at retarded things the way we do. they are just...intellectual we would say...hah! oh well...so we talked about our childhood tibits...and it reminded me of so so so many things i had when i was young...

- macho boy or macho man..either one..forgot...its smth like mamee but i think it taste better
- bee bee
- ice mon
- ear biscuit
- mamee
- 20cent animal biscuit
- mouldy biscuit( thats what my mum calls it...is like a small pancake size with like flour on top or smth..so it looks as if it has turned mouldy..kind of..)
- diamond looking shape of thing...i don't know whats that called cox apparently none of em knew what i was talking abt)
- super ring
- pushpop
- colur biscuit (those big round coloured biscuit...that comes in red green or yellow)

hah..okay..and i still rmb collecting 'puppy in my pocket'...those that comes with a small dogbone candy and a cert of the dog...hah! and we started talking about those channel 8 drama serials that we watched when we were young...you know...like yang guang lie che, shuang tian zi zun kind of show...hah! and there is this particular drama serial that scares us all...i rmb the part where the old lady sat on the rocking chair and she went 'humpty dumpty sat on the wall...' while na rmbs abt the part where the doll was thrown into the dustbin and it opened its eyes and mok rmb the lift where it brought them to the 13th floor when the highest storey is 12...hah..okay..too much to say...i shall end here...

boyfriend came to find me at bugis and sent me home!

okay...back to studying for my physic mod! test is coming real soonnnn!