argh.....nearly blew my top at her....idiotic leh...ahhhhhhh..........thx her for her powerful suaning skills and blessings tat i'll fail my hcl...and tat i deserve to fail for my prelims....argh!!!! luckily i was on phone...and not face to face....i would had shouted at her...and thx her for discouragin me to study....ahhh....i feel like stranglin her....*hmph*

hey...e idiotic one...let me tell u...i'll get at least a b3 for my hcl n i'll beat u for e o's....thx for ur motivation...i'll work extremely hard....

heehex...back again to update le...bored to death...now alone at home...facing maths...eeeeww...haixx....sianxxxx....oh ya...mrs ngiam made e klass sumthin like a bookmark...nice of her thou...but she pretty emotional...cos she cried e moment she gave us e thing...then made everyone so sad...cum to think abt it...tomolo is e last dae we as a klass....get to sit together n haf our lessons...but i noe tomolo surely alot ppl not cumin sch le...sad case...

hmm...also dunnoe wad to sae thou...five more daes to chem prac....seven more daes to phy prac...panic attack! later i screwed up how??? later i mental block how??? eeeww *gasp* *cross fingers* heard frm mrs ngiam tat e bio prac was quite tough...*shiverss* chem n phy better not too hard....they alwaes sae practicals are e one tat pulled up ur grades...but i think is pushin mine down...hmm....

dunnoe wad to sae le...do take care of urself ba...dun sae i nva care for u....later tue noseblock...cannot smell NH3 / SO2 then gonecase le...hehex...=) it was a long tok yestdae...hehehex...n i realise e history was so long....n we actually walked thru it...hahax...anywae...luv ya...!

slept at my grandpa house yesterdae....cox todae he goin to be cremated...so we cannot afford to be late...rituals were performed n we took a last look at him again...he laid in e coffin...he had a smile on his face...which i thought he mux had left peacefully...

arrived at e crematorium...went to e service hall n certain prayers were made while my grandpa was sent to be cremated...we made our way to e viewin hall...n e next thing...everyone cried...i couldnt bear e thought of my grandpa leavin...i saw my mother n all my aunties cryin their eyes out...it was a terrible scene...it took less than a few min n he is totally gone...just like tat...into ashes...i couldnt stop myself frm cryin...

how i had wished he was right beside me...i need ur shoulder now....

we rushed there as soon as we receive e call...waited for e dumb cab for half an hour and finally reached NUH at 11plus pm...we rushed to the ICU...and waited outside while e doctors were tryin to save him....e door opened...and e nurse wanted all to go in...tat moment...i knew he wun make it...i walked into e ICU...it was extremely cold...i took a look him...and i cried...he had tubin all over him...i looked at e screen...his heartbeat had turn 0...n his blood pressure was droppin...15...14...13...he left us...my sis n i walked up to him...i held his hand n i looked at him..he looked all so weak...i cried...

nva in my life had i witness such death n it just dawned upon me...how fortunate i am...frankly...i've yet to encounter e death of my close relative...n i just cant imagine tat i lost my grandpa tat night...my grandma was devastated...havin lived wif him for e past 50years...he just left her all alone...i cried upon seein my grandma...all of us sat outside...and waited for e police to certify e death...my grandpa had an operation but it failed...which probably had led to his death...toopit doctors!!!! since they arent even sure of e operation...y did they still carry on wif it...worst still...durin e operation...they didnt even do anythin...open up his chest n they realise they couldnt do e bypass...so open his leg instead...still cannot....stitch it back....n there...my grandpa was gone...just like tat...perhaps it might had been a form of escape for him...as in...he didnt have to suffer so much anymore...he opted for e operation thou...knowin e risk...but shouldnt e doctors had at least put in their effort in savin him...rather then realisin that here cannot bypass...there cannot bypass...and end up...open him n stitch him again...i mean...if they had done their best...perhaps i wouldnt be hatin em tat much...argh...

omg!!! i realli did stayed till 1....hehehx...see...i told u i can! *grinx* hmm...weird thou...i am pretty awake...but im sure tomolo lesson i would be dozing off...hehex...anywae....lets pray hard for my grandpa...cos he will be goin for an operation...some heart operation tat is of high risk...cox e doctor sae if it fails...he might go heaven or otherwise paralysed....eew...sounds pretty bad...it would be a 4hr operation...hope everything would be fine for him....*pray*alright...i'll go study my lit le...

ahhh!!!!! totally guilty....cox i haven realli study much todae...haixx....furnie thou...o's is cumin in a mth time but i cant seem to mug...haixx....=( now still got e time to cum n blog...haixx....got back prelim results...erm...quite bad actualli...n e worst of all...i failed my hcl...duh...nva in my life had i failed chi n here i am...failin my chi at this kinda of time...argh!!! cried my eyes out...thou i not goin to use for my l1r5...but still...is a shockin news tat i've yet to recovered...haixx...=(

anywae...i'm bored to death stayin at home...stuck wif all my bks but none faced me for more than an hr....hahax...should had gone out wif my parents...then i wouldnt be feelin tat bad...stayin at home...n doin nth...haixxxxxxxxx.......

hmm...sumtimes when u got nth to do...aint necessarily a good thing either...hahax...cos i am bored to death at home...my sista kept usin e com...poor me...got nth to do...mux wait for her to haf lunch then can hurriedly use n return it to her again....haixyo....anywae...teevee got no show...kept switchin e channels here n there...but none caught my attention...haix..read storybk also end up slpin...hahax...but still...manage to pass my time till 6plus...then went to my frenx house...hmm...early celebration for mooncake fest. hahax...they bought tons of candles n we started to lit e candles one by one...but e stupid wind...kept blowin it off...i gave up...when to play sparklers...(eh..did i spell correctly?) anywae...revive my childhood memories...hahax...then e bunch of us sat down n chatted...i played a game wif em...hahax...but they couldnt get it...i dunnoe how long i played wif em...but it lasted till 11plus...hahax...but still...they didnt get it...finally...gave a big hint and they all saw e light...hahax...okie...so we left her house...holdin a lantern...hahax..quite furnie thou...e bunch of us walkin down e dimly lit street wif lanterns on our hand...like sum kids liddat..hahax...was forcin hekming to carry it cox he refused to...but e moment we split our ways...he blew off e candles of e lantern...aiyox...anyway...board e bus n i finally got home at 12plus...hmm...he called n we tok till 2am...hmm..first time in history...hahax...=)

-i miss u-

hehehex....todae is a happie dae...cox i saw a rainbow...hahax....and is not just e rainbow tat i saw...i saw e start of it of maybe e end...i dunno...maybe sum ppl did see it b4...but well..i didnt mar...so got pretty excited abt it...hahax...my sis sae where e start n e end of e rainbow are...there lies a pot of gold...hahax...*wonder* one dae i'll go dig....

anywae...went to yio chu kang wif my sista to play tennis...hahax...i am still learnin n got one instance when i hit e ball n it flew over e fence...hahax...so paiseh...luckily no one saw...played for 2hr plus...then went home le...totally exhausted...mux be too long nva exercise le...

hahax...back again to blog le...hmm...still wide awake...hahax...cox everytime study until this time arh...surely fall asleep le....hmm...mooncake fest. cumin soon...but i guess i ate up e mooncakes even before e festival arrived...hahax...when was e last time i held a lantern arh??? hmm...onli rmb when i was small...alwaes switched off all e lights in e house...then go walkin ard wif e lantern...hahax...hmm...i got nice childhood holdin lanterns...oh ya...i was watchin this show abt kids de...abt how their childhood can affect em when they grow up...realli worx...if since young...e child doesnt receive enuff love frm her parents...sumhow or other...she differ frm e others....hmm...anywae...i suddenly realised mooncake tastes nice...hehehex...maybe cos one year didnt eat...so it taste nice? maybe....hey....furnie thou..how cum todae no moon de...? i thought mooncake fest approachin...shouldnt e moon be big n round??

HAHAHAHAHAAHHAXXX......hehehex....feel like luffin...cos prelim finally over le!!!! hahax...which means i get to take a short break!! hmm....ppl...do take a break also kae...dun keep studyin....mux rest....xiu xi shi yao zou gen chang yuan de lu!!! ritex? ur brain cells need time to generate...*smile*

hmm..todae ended wif my chi paper...totally tirin...n i studied all e 8 bk of shou ceS...but then...those words tat came out....i barely rmb em...sad case....haixx....hopefully my compre n summary can pull up ba....i dunwan get C...!!!! haixx...anywae...todae maths also quite terrible...do until i felt like givin up...haixx....sad case again....but then again...went home after tat...took e train...n i felt so dumb...hahax...cos arh...i waited for e trrain 6 mins...e train finally arrived...then i suddenly came back to earth....realise tat train is goin towards harbour front...duh....quite dumb....stood there for e past 6mins without realisin...ppl there mux had thought i got sum problem...stood there then e train cum le...i walked to e opp side...hahax...then ended up waitin for another 6min...aiyox...finally reached home....cook my noodles n watched teevee.....and here i am....hmm...and one terrible thing tat i found out...my sims GONE le...oh no!!! my 5 generations of sims all bu jian le...haixx....=x

anywae...i think is time for me to work out le...study for prelim..everydae sit there e whole dae...eat n read...i think i growin fatter le!!! ahhhh!!!! i mux start my dietin programme...playin tennis wif my sista tomolo...hmm....hope it help...at least i am not rottin at home...hehex...anywae...e sch veri 'cooperative'....noe i wan to work out...ask us go for e tree top thingy...hahax...but e walk is kinda borin...cos no scenaries de...i'm sure they need first aider along e way ba....station me there then...hahax...i think ppl hu walked wouldnt wan to walk again le...onli get fed by e mosquitoes...later dengue fever..hmm....

i go eat dinner le...blog again later ba! cyax....

ahh....sick of studyin le lar...doin my maths do until i see no. everywhere...anyone wan to help me with probability??!!! i cant do leh....furnie thou...next time grow up also wun use it...hu so dumb...pick e green beans n red beans then count e probability of pickin both red n green....pick e beans then pick e beans mar...count so much for wad....argh!!! haixx...hmmm....i noe...maybe to help those ppl hu buy 4d??? hehehex...=)

okie...dun blog le...i go do my phy n munch my donuts le!! Byeeeeee.....

finally back again le...hehehex....cox com down wif weird diseases....so cannot use...but anywae....also no time to use...hmm...todae is physics dae....boring ...i would rather do tons of maths than study phy...cos i alwaes ended up dozin off...hehex....yesterdae study halfway...then i slept le...slept at 9.30pm then woke up at 12.30am...brush my teeth n went to slp again...hahahax...

anywae...woke up at 7.30am todae...hmm...determine to study my phy...and i actually did...erm...for e first 3 chpts...hehex...then after tat....anyhow read thru le...cos cant seem to focus de...cox teevee got e superstar show...hehehex....n i jus realise how cool lin jun jie is...hahax...where is my jiang nan song???!!!*searchin high n low* toopit pig head...!
anywae...carried on wif my phy frm 2 to 6...hmm...then went to watch teevee...and went out wif sista to buy dinner...came back wif my noodles....watched teevee eat n slack n back to phy again...borin life...=( but didnt study for long b4 i sat infront of e com n blog...hehex...=p oh ya....e seventh mth over le izzit?


-i miss u-

hehex...yet another donkey yearS le...had my oral on fri...erm....okie...wasnt tat nervous thou...cos maybe i was e last few...or to be precise...the second last ba...so waited like 2hrs before it was my turn....then e most furnie thing was tat me n yt wanted to go to e toilet...but then this toopit mr lee huh....realli veri superb....told him we needed to go to e toilet...then he asked us to wait..then we asked again...he asked us to wait again...so we waited 1hr plus....needed e toilet urgently then he still asked us to wait...so...wif e help of mitchell n co.....he finally asked someone to get a teacher up to escort us to e toilet...and it was none other than noel koh...erm...quite paiseh actually....cos this noel koh stood outside e gurls toilet n looked directly in...and we felt rather awkard...but anywae....back to waitin...n finally my turn for e oral le...prepared for e passage n picture discussion....then went in....got out within 7 min...freaked out...cos i thought how cum i came out so fast...hmm....but xing hao...other ppl also ard tat time..relief...=x hehehex...

-insignificant to u-

ahh...late for chem practical todae...hahax...got off my dad's car...sign in at e security post and saw yingxian as well...wasnt tat panic at first...but she so kan chiong...ran her way to e chem lab so i no choice...ran wif her as well...hahax...chem practical todae was quite alright...did titration...yay! i got e ans ritex...hmm..*grinx* but e QA...hmm....couldnt smell sulphur dioxide thou...hahax...but anywae...everythin ended at 10.15am or so...left e sch wif tx they all...and went home alone....peaceful journey home...hmm...

got home...e sky turned dark...started rainin....but it felt good...had lunch....slept awhile...and started my hw...i cant find e drive to study le...argh!!!! study study study......keep studyin for e mock prelim...then e drive to study lost le...e case of e missin drive to study....hmm....i'll find it back sumhow...

i miss you.....=x

wow...finally had proper lessons le...erm...couldnt realli concentrate...cos i kept wantin to fall asleep...dunnoe y..after mock prelim...i keep wantin to slp...i think i can slp now also le...hmm...sianx...tomolo still got chem practical...but lucky is practical...not too bad...anywae....e day seemed extremely longgggggggg.....quite tirin...cos 12.45pm lesson ended.....i had to chiong my lit essay..cos haf to hand up by todae...then 1.20pm had chi lesson...till 1.50...then 2pm phy ssp....till 3pm...haven had my lunch!!! finally 4plus...went lunchin wif eliza n oct qinqi...then went for sj....hahax...i muxt compliment eliza....cos she was e first person who saw e difference in me...hahax...not even him...sad case sia...sigh....but well nvm...eliza makes a good observer...hahax...stayed wif e sj till 6plus...then daddi cum to fetch me home...hmm....and yea...back home...

i'm feelin abit erm...furnie huh...undescribable(did i spell wrongly???) feelin....just feel weird...dunnoe wads wrong....haix....

okie...had career seminar todae...hmm...only thing tat fascinates me was e VJ tok and maybe e nursin tok ba...but e nursin tok aint tat helpful...anywae...let's make this clear...tat i not goin to be nurse kae...im goin to be a doctor...hmm....far reachin goal...but nvm...=) went for e raffles design institute tok...which obviously didnt interest me....hahax....but val...jean...yl...got pretty excited over it i guess...they tok to e guy...and i was shocked at e fee...50K for 3 years...hmm....and vosh started calculatin how much she must save le...hahax...e tok ended earlier as expected....abt 4pm liddat...then i went home le...had a headache....argh!!! tat panadol aint powerful enuff...awhile okie then awhile not....hmm....

yay!!! end of mock prelim le...is time for revelry!!! hahax....havoc time!!! me...tx...and belinda went to st hse...wasnt exactly tat havoc but we had quite a lot of fun ba...watched sum vcds...e pacifier...which i thought shane was totally cool...hmm...i think guys appear most charmin when they command ppl...hmm....next time becum commando kae??? after pacifier...watched saw...erm...tat was a m18 show...hahax...pretty ironic...not even qualify for nc16 then i watch m18...but it wasnt tat gross either...just certain parts when e person dug out e intestine and stuff...and e man who saw off his ankle...i would had freak out if they realli show how he saw his ankle and how it dropped off...hahax...but they didnt...just sum blood splurtin out...so it aint tat bad afterall....oh ya...we had pizza as well...tx called em and got e pizza delivered to st hse...then played mahjiong...hehex...surprised tat i play huh? but i am pretty lousy at it... then we tok n tok n tok....played sum furnie hand game...and erm...6plus le....so we left....borrowed JJ cd frm st....i begining to be mad over him....but my sista sae he looked girly....DUH...but nvm...we are suppose to support e local singer....=x

*yawn* sleepy...finally weekend le...cant wait for mock prelim to be over...but then again...e end of mock prelim will simply means e start of real PRELIMs...haixx...aiyah...i also dunnoe wad to sae le...got things then i blog again...take care ppl!

okie..here i am...tellin u guys wad terrible daeS i had...ever since e chem test on last wed...i think i went into a state of depression...haixx...e moment i stepped out of e chem lab after my test...i jus broke down...cos i studied until so hard yet i made bloody toopit mistake which could probably caused me to flunk my test...practically peeved at myself....i guess i scare everyone...hehehex...paiseh ppl...and yea...ought to thx those we tried to cheer me up...and val who tried to run after me...thx ppl!

last sundae stayed at home e whole dae...totally stressed up...i think i am tryin to study too many sub tat it backfired...cos ended up wif severe headache...then i guess...my mood starts to swing...oopsx...

then recently got even worse i guess...e klass starts to chiong their studies le..and it makes matter worse for me cos i start feelin pressurised...(except for e guys in klass who are currently still slackin) everythin just pissed me off and i didnt realli want to tok either....and when was e last time i truely luff my heads off??!!! vancillating mood like mary turner liddat...awhile okie..then awhile just wan to shut myself awae from everythin else...=x i'm vexed over everythin...over studies...and especially him...hey...didnt mean to get angry wif u...but anywae...everytime i angry wif u..turn out u angry wif me...cox u think i'm unreasonable...*sniff* i'm just feelin....ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dunoe wad to do...ppl sae by cryin ur heart out...u will feel better...but sumhow or other...i think it doesnt work on me...*sniff*

todae was another eeeew dae...i knew he was still angry wif me...i'm tryin hard not to think abt it...lessons went on as usual...but caught a flu bug this mornin...was totally shiverin awae...but hu cares anywae...went for chem test at e lab todae....e toopit lab assit. got big problem...cox we got no periodic table so miss yam sae use chem text de...then this lab assit. gave me a copy of e table n took my chem text away..left it sumwhere in e lab....i finished e test but i forgot abt my textbk..so i left....was packin up my stuff then realised couldnt find my chem text...so went back n asked e lab assit. when i couldnt find it in e lab...and her bloody reply was...i left it there...if is there is there...if is not..then it isnt...hey! u took my textbk awae and u tell me if is there is there...if it isnt it isnt...wad e hell...got pissed off by her toopit attitude so i left....but anywae...i found back my bk in e end...

walked to e interchange wif audrey after sch...boarded e bus...was munchin on my chips....then this guy kept starin at me...i thought he was goin to ask me to stop eatin my chips on bus cos it aint allowed...but thx goodness he didnt...sumhow or other...he came to me and sat beside me...and he went HELLO...so i said HELLO too...'u looked sad so i thought i could tok to u' was his words....i was like...erm..k fine...and he started askin me where i live and wad cca i frm and my age etc...he introduced himself n reluctanly i shook his hand...he told me he's frm e navy....and he continues ratterin on and on...so i just 'ya ya ya' thruout e convo. and he asked 'u got bf alreadi not'....n i said 'ya' and tat moment...he finally shut up...and kept quiet...and i got a peacefully ride home...but he was nice thou...jux tat i didnt like e idea of tokin to a stranger....

haixx...to tat SOMEBODY who is currently angry:

do u noe angry can harm ur health....? it makes life bad for u and worse for me...y bother uself over things tat u urself even think is unreasonable...y waste ur energy gettin angry over sumthin? and does it makes u happie to see e other party cries simply cox u are angry at her...u are not hurtin urself but u are definitely hurtin me...guess i am at fault...and i apologise for tat...i may seemed unreasonable to u at timeS...but can u jus understand me for this once...?

hahax...finally here to update again le....cox last mon to fri was simply too hectic le...especially fri worx...early mornin at 6.45am...i went to sch...it was sj dae...and e parade was soooo long...did e slow march and i nearly lost my balance..hahax...=x tat dae will be e last time e year 4 wear their full u le...hmm...sad...but anywae...straight after e parade...snap sum photos and hurried off to change back to sch u...so ma fan...change here n there...and then...set off to snow city to watch e demo on e liquid nitrogen...i thought tat was simply cool...how e banana could actually hammer e nail into e wood...hmm...but furnie thou...travel all e way there...see see then go back again...hmm...then later in e afternoon went for e lost in chinatown...hahax....e 5 sotongs got into a grp..mainly...me...yunting..audrey...yi teng n jia ci...hahax...for e first two stations...we were rather serious...then later on...decide to anyhow walk le...hahax...ended up...dunnoe where we are...hahax....quite dumb sia...but anywae....we still found our way back n i slept my way back to sch le....then in e evenin got lit nitex...also quite sianx...cos e show watched b4 le...so was stonin away...and for e fact tat we had to sit at e gallery for 2 hour plus aint tat comfortable....hahax...and then finally...RELEASE le...went to meet him and went home...nearly got a shock in my entire life...hehehex...he was walkin me home when i suddenly spotted my mama at void deck....mama saw me...saw him...oops...but we didnt do anythin at tat time so it was erm...lucky....but mama ask for his name...where he stay...y he wif me...and blah blah blah...-duh- a question n ans session....hahax...

...i miss u....