updates updates!

my 2 weeks of break from internship is goooood =D although technically speaking, i only work 4hrs a day for my internship but still, NO WORK = HAPPY =D yes.

and I DYED MY HAIR ON MY OWN =) haha! ok la, not exactly on my own. more of me mixing the solution and reading the instruction to my mum and my mum helped me do the rest. hahah! so i got nice chestnut brown hair now =) or simply put, ka zhua brown. HAHA! and apparently ONLY VALERIE COULD TELL THE COLOUR DIFF. omg. guys are bad at it. i met ben and guanning and they went 'u mean u dyed?!' ITS PRETTY OBVIOUS ISNT IT?! ok, maybe the colour hasnt shown back then.

and i was surprised to receive postcard sent by guan ning while he was in cambodia doing volunteer work. hahahha! apparently the postcard reached me on the same day he returned to singapore. hahahha! postcard n guanning were on the same flight =/ but yea, it was sweet of him to send postcards to us =)

met val ydae for TEA, ok COFFEE for me =) sat down, chillax and talked =D this is called QUALITY TIME. everytime i rationalise things out, i seem to get a clearer picture. For now, the answer seems clear. i don't know abt tml. shrugged. leave that aside. met up with guan ning for dinner and off to ymca for meeting =) actually i cant wait for the camp to start =) i bet it will be awesome.

ben10 sends me a emo nemo songg!

最熟悉的陌生人 - 萧亚轩

还记得吗 窗外那被月光染亮的海洋
你还记得吗 是爱让彼此把夜点亮
为何后来我们 用沉默替代依赖
曾经朗朗星空 渐渐阴霾

心碎离开 转身回到最初荒凉里等待
为了寂寞 是否找个人填心中空白
我们变成了世上 最熟悉的陌生人
今后各自曲折 各自悲哀

只怪我们爱得那么汹涌 爱得那么深
于是梦醒了 搁浅了 沉默了挥手了 却回不了神
如果当初在交会时能忍住了 激动的灵魂
也许今夜我不会让自己在思念里 沉沦

我们变成了世上最熟悉的陌生人
今后各自曲折 各自悲哀

no matter how much i have gotten over past relationships, a part of me still holds on to some memories and i think the most hurtful thing is to realise that someone whom you have been close to turn stranger the next day. whether it was a logical mutual decision or a one-sided decision, it hurts. it makes me feel afraid to carry on another relationship, to carry on something that perhaps has no future. cause dao tou lai, im just hurting myself again, no?

was talking to val and we were saying we all hate certain parts of ourselves. totally agree. sometimes i find myself looking fat and i hate it, sometimes i think im ugly. i guess we have moments when we suffer from some kind of low self esteem. the worst came when the december incident made me lost myself. it was as if i was fending on my own because i know no one can help me out of it if i don't help myself. i will still cry if the incident surfaced in my mind but so what? i need to learn to deal with it and i have no one to blame. blame who? confide in who? i became pretty paranoid after that but no, i won't let it affect me. rationalisation, denial and repression seem to be my defense mechanism for long time.

BEN10! ur fault la, make me listen to the song then i emo! no cookies for u!