long walk can simply help you to straighten out your thoughts. and so i did. walking like there's no ending. i thought i could have just walked non-stop during my lunch hour ydae and not head back to imh to work. but of course, i cant.

anw, i've more or less managed to convince myself to think less. at least for today that is.

in fact, acting happy can just make u happy. or probably turn what u are thinking into a joke, and all will seem just alright. yar, edward tan called ydae and asked me how i was doing and stuff and although i wasnt exactly happy at that time, i cant say out either. so i just simply told him what i thought and both of us laughed at it. and it worked! for the moment, i thought i was so stupid to think so negatively. ya. sometimes, it's easier to confide in someone not so close to you. sometimes, i just find it easier to talk to strangers about my problems and just laugh it over. simply because i cant breakdown in front of these people. it will probably scare them off. which explains y i do not confide in my parents nor my boy. they are probably the ones who are closest to me and i won't make it a point to hide my feelings. so i'll probably just cry non-stop in front of them which in any case, would not do any good to both parties. and of course, i tried confiding in my sisters, you know, like drop a couple of hints here and there that im worried or unhappy. but sometimes, it just doesnt work and it just make matter worst and i felt even lousier. speaking about how difficult it is to confide in someone close to you might not seem to be the case on the other hand. i can easily confide with the fairies. i msged ryl ydae when i felt so upset. i told ah na abt my past relationship last time. i can easily tell the fairies how i feel and somehow or another, they would just make me feel better.

so what is it?

nvm. just random thoughts. im off for lunch.