1 more paper and im done =) wheeee!

that day my boy was reallly cute. he was jumping up and down on the bed and the wooden plank dislodged. he actually tried fixing it on his own and after speaking to his mum, i realised that it was actually an act of imitation - he had seen his mother fixing the bed in everyday life and hence he modelled the act. impressive. its not easy for a chid with autism to do that. well done boy! =) but I was not strong enough to lift up the mattress entirly for him to fix the plank properly =/ hahah! and he got so bothered he refused to sit nicely on the chair so that I could start the session. ended up, i hid the wooden plank - out of sight out of mind. and having to do near 4 sessions in a row got me a little stress. not the therapy that is stressing me but the time im left with to study for my last paper =/ i hope i can handle it.

and oh! i emailed my prof asking her to be my supervisor for honours thesis and i was surprised that she rmbs me even though im such a low profile student! ok, maybe it was out of courtesy that she said she rmbs me. hahah! oh well. anyway, its a good start that i found a prof =) its kind of scary to think that i need to conduct a research all on my own now.

and im mourning over the loss of 2marks for my paper today =/ i hate it when i make a mistake on things that i ought to know.

2 papers down! 2 more to go and im done with examss!

ryl just suggested an exciting 'post exam' plan - cooking 3 cai 1 tang! hahah! i really think my clique of friends are laying the path towards being a good wife. hahah!

and i wan a short getaway!!!! lets hope i find good bargain for bali. fairies! if u are reading my blog, u are invited! ryl and i are planning...sooo...if u all can make it, let us noe! =)

and someone enlighten me pls. what should my ans be?

i shall do a quick blog before i slp. my only entertainment in life now. haha! im so getting sick of studying man. CANT WAIT FOR EXAMS TO BE OVER LIKE NOW! zzzzz.

oh! i saw chameleon and wild dog when i ran yesterdae. and im going nike run with my sis and meijuan =) hee!

therapy session with moses today was good =) after 15-16 sessions with him, I FINALLY FOUND A WAY TO PLAY WITH HIM. like finally i could interact with him properly with him giving me appropriate response. good job! =) and im starting to feel attached to him and i reallly realllly want him to improve. i want him to be better functioning so that his parents will not worry over him, so that his parents can bring him out like any other kids. i guess moses is really lucky in some sense because his parents are realllly doing alot to have him become better. i have came across parents who are not doing much for their kids and only relying on the help of therapists which is definitely not going to be sufficient.

i think my stomach is getting mixed signal. a mixture of coffee + chicken essence. haha!! weird combi.

im ending exam on the 4th and my internship starts on the 5th! i foresee that my summer break will be super meaningful. haha! ok...i better go recharged myself.

goodnight!

for the first time, i worked till 12.30am last night!!! i cant believe there were so many people queuing to see the MP ydae. but it was damn funny because mr low was asking me how im going home. so i said im going to take a cab. and he and the new MP each took out $50 wanting to give me to take cab home. i ran off and the new MP came chasing after me trying to stuff the money into my hand. haha! i have good employers huh? but of course i didnt take the money. and mr low went 'i'll put into ur payroll if u are not taking the money' haha! mr low is funny la.

went for a run this evening and i always think running around punggol is interesting. i have seen snake, wild dogs, centipedes, millipedes, rats and today i saw MONKEY! i was running towards punggol jetty and i was wondering why were leaves falling on my head. i looked up and i saw a monkey swinging from trees to trees =/ xia si wo le. i was waiting for the traffic when i saw this car stalled. i took a closer look and hey! thats my driving instructor's car! haha! remind me of those days when i stalled like mad and he shouted at me like nuts. haha!

alright. back to my books!

my high fever must had made me retarded =/ i was seriously silly man. i was heading to airport to study on saturday and because starbucks does not allow people to study, i was thinking of heading to mac. and so i alighted at t3 and i walked the entire t3 and i couldnt find the usual mac that i always go to. so i checked the directory and i thought to myself 'yea, theres a mac here. but why cant i find it?!' i walked and walked and it suddenly occured to me that i was at the wrong terminal =x actually theres a mac at t3 too but i must have been really bad at direction because i couldnt find it either. =x


and the next retarded thing i did was to throw away my notes!!!!!! i finished my essay and i was clearing my stuff and i guess i must have chucked my notes into the stack of newspapers =/ and i think my mum sold it to the garang guni already =/ zzzzz. and babe was nice to lend me her notes to zap! =p and i felt so bad having her to travel to northpoint just to pass me the notes. and you know what?!!! i got confused with 804 and 854 =/ok nvm. save the explanation here.


the third retarded thing was....i was surfing facebook when i saw meijuan posted this 'The only way to get rid of a shadow is to turn off the lights, stop running from the darkness and face what u fear, head on' me: hey i came across this quote toooo!! and i retweeted it! meijuan: haha! i took it from your blog lah! me: OMG. DID I BLOG THIS? oh yea i think i did =/ silly me.


anyway, dinner was good today because i dined out with my family! =) i always feel happier when i have my dinner outside with my family. haha! and the gem at punggol is really pretty! the view is good and the stroll after dinner was nice coupled with the full moon and the sky filled with stars =D i love gazing at starsssss =)))


AND YES! I WENT WEECARE AT TANGLIN THAT DAY and the kids were totally ADORABLE. OMG!!! and yes, i got my internship as a shadow teacher for this girl with autism. so i went down last tue for an observation session. i guess theres still a stark contrast between typical and atypical children afterall. alright. its time to study hard during this study break! AND IM TOTALLY TROUBLING OVER WHAT I SHOULD DO FOR MY THESIS? which prof to work with? what research area to look into? autism? developmental? language? behavioural therapies? intervention? aggression? violence? AHHH.

my worst fever ever. let me whine about it. fell sick on sat and after eating 6 panadols, my fever and headache did not subside at all and in fact, the tempt went up. i was all alone at home on sunday morning, resting in bed and feeling reallly damn sick. i took my tempt and it read '39.7' and i thought to myself 'damn. i hope i don't become retarded =/' i called my parents telling them i wanted to see a doc. and then, i waited 2 HOURS for them to be back home =/ i was almost dead by then =/ i was like buring inside and i had to crawl out of my bed in my dizzy floaty state just to wet a cloth n put it on my forehead hoping the tempt will drop. sigh. i feel so poor thing. sniff. after seeing a doc and after eating 6 different kinds of medicine (yea, SIX TYPES OF MEDICINES), my fever strangely didnt subside and it went up to 39.6 =/ continued slping for the rest of the day and continued downing myself with the medications and it slowly became better today! and i lost 1kg! thats how sick i was.

birthday surprise for meijuan =DDD TRIOS!! =) always in need to camwhore despite the narrow mirror =/ hahah!!

our swensen ice cream cake came as a surprise to meijuan =)

presents for her!

just in case u guys think it was a 3 girls' outing. heh. sahal was there too! just that he isnt into camwhoring like GIRLS. =P

more photos while we waited for sahal to try on clothes. hahha!

the end!

Volunteer work at east coast park last weekend (or is it last last weekend?) =)) we were almost burnt under the hot sorching sun =x it was a nice experience despite ending up being station master and helping the kids and families take photos =) i mean, it would have been more interactive if we get to play with the kids but it was fine. we had fun too. hurray to volunteering! =D

im forced to sign up for twitter just to churn out a 5 pg report on it =/

came across a quote in twitter that says "she comes off as stong, but maybe she fell asleep crying. she acts like nothing is wrong, but maybe she's just really good at lying"....i think that is so me. no worries, im not emo-ing =)

just that i guess this phrase pretty much speaks of the kind of person i am. when something unpleasant happens, i won't tell others. and i find myself tearing before i slp and waking up pretending nth had happened. until the unpleasant event is over and i have calmed myself down, would i let others know abt it. or maybe, i won't even say it at all.

anyway, met joyce in the late morning after my morning lecture! =) lunched, bought stuff and studied together before i headed back sch again for lessons. personality lecture was funny today because the lecturer was sharing with us some cultural differences when he was studying in canada.

my lecturer went to a restaurant and wanted to order something

waiter: u want super salad?
lecturer: (super salad? thats not in the menu but it sounds good) ok, 1 super salad!
waiter: super salad?
lecturer: yea, super salad.
waiter: i mean do you want SOUP or SALAD?!

funny right? =p

passerby A: do you have the time?
lecturer: yes, i have lots of time
passerby A: i mean do u have the time?
lecturer: uh huh, i have lots of free time

dont get it? the passerby A is actually asking for the time and my lecturer misunderstood him.

my eye candy is cute =p hahahhaha!! reminds me of my pokka days.

HAPPPPY BIRTHDAYYY RYLLL!! (i noe u will read my blog! u better be. )

sat
volunteer work with allena at east coast park in the morning =) i always feel happier doing volunteer work =) thumbs up! headed to starbucks at tanjong pagar to study, which was absolutely conducive to do work =) met my family for dinner after that. dinner was damn awkward because we were having dinner with my sis's fiance's family. hahah!! but eventually it turned out pretty fine i guess.

sun
met ryl for a run in the afternoon. believe it or not, we two ran at 12pm in the afternoon. best. hahaha!! it was a mini-adventure as we explored this forest look-alike place behind her house. hee! continued to run and started eyeing on landed property along the way. haha! and yes! i want to buy audi car in future! i think audi car looks good =)

ran back bathed, lunched and we studied! girls' talk always make me go into dilemma. ok, i was already in a dilemma just that ryl's perspective make me even more confused! but sometimes its not as easy as 1+1 kind of thing. im still a human eh, sometimes being rational may not necessarily be the ideal decision. and ryl and na have been bugging me to tell them what happened in dec two years back. sigh. if i could say, i would. but its not something glamourous to share about and im only begining to walk out of it. so ryl and na! dun say i unfriendly dont wan to share!

mon
prof was sharing with us a nus yr 4 student was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and she left only a year to live. damn. PEOPLE! PLEASE GO FOR HEALTH SCREENING! and halfway through the lecture his phone rang and he told us his patient in difficult labour. *admire, no im not admiring that his patient is in difficult labour but more so of his capability. aiya, don't know how to express. my fetish. haha! just a general statement, i think capable ppl always end up in a divorce or break up because they are not spending enough time with their other half. we cant seem to get the best of both world eh?

The only way to get rid of a shadow is to turn off the lights, stop running from the darkness & face what you fear, head on - grey's anatomy

i guess this very much speaks abt my life.

im absolutely irritated. ROARSSS!! and my period has to come of all time. mood swing to the max.

i really don't understand why am i studying physics now. i have absolutely no idea how i studied physics when i was in jc or secondary sch. sigh.

to take psychology is a right choice.

im dead tired. long day today. had therapy session in the morning, school in the afternoon and work at night =/ i seriously think im working more than im studying this semester. and im having an interview for my internship at WeeCare in the following week. hope i can get it. would be a good experience for me and maybe i can learn ways to handle my boy as well. much needed.

lectures in the afternoon was funny. the prof was talking abt andropause and how men are so affected because they cant get it up like before. how their refractory period is longer when they are older to the extent that sometimes it may takes days or months for it to have a response again. he started citing examples and he started laughing to himself. haha! funny prof. i kind of admire him actually. because i think he is very zai. he was telling us he was on plane when he had to attend to 1 passenger with ectopic pregnancy and another 1 with asthma. i think its damn cool. and that day he was showing us videos on the 5 different methods to deliver a baby. it was damn gross because the first video showed the doctor cutting the vagina because the cervix did not dilate enough and all the blood and fluid and whatever was everywhere =/ and the caesarean method was ermm..none the better. i didnt know the whole uterus can be flipped out of the female's abdomen for the doctor to clean it. like literally stuff his hand into the uterus to clean it =/ and my prof had done all methods before. and i was like 'wahhhh, cooool'...i think knowledgeable and capable guys make me go 'wahhh' =)

volunteer work yesterday was nice =) brought the special needs children out to have fun, and im sure they did =)

MPS is not ending =( why are there so many residents with so many issues to be resolved?

ah die. i think im becoming a woman of few words. i don't know what to blog nowadays eh. right, lets backtrack and see what i have done this week...

mon
sch as usual, lessons from 10am to 4pm followed by meeting till 6.30pm. headed to yew tee for 'meet the people' session which freakingly ended at near 12AM!!! i was zombified during work probably because i had a long day in sch. and the fact that it ended way so late didnt help much huh. but mr yeo was nice thou, he asked me to leave first knowing that i live so far. but i stayed on since i probably have to cab home anyway. doesnt make much a diff.

tue
sch as usual. had presentation on autism research proposal. was fine i hope, even though the prof did mention certain things that we have overlooked. but oh well, which proposal/presentation aint flawless. studied at compasspt lib and met jiaji for dinner and home!

wed
lesson at freaking 8am = waking up at 6.15am =/ i almost fell aslp during lecture especially when the prof talked abt physics bio and whatever. zzzzz. headed to starbucks after lec ended and studied. the starbucks guy was nice to let me redeem a grande caramel machiatto because by right, redemption is only meant for tall size. heh! and west coast plaza starbucks is super conducive for studying =) love. headed back sch for personality lecture and home!

thurs
skipped my reproductive health tutorial since attendance wasnt counted and that was my only 1 hr of lesson, so i declared free thursday for me! therapy session in the evening. i always feel abit worried when i go for session. i really wonder how the mom thinks abt me when im doing the therapy. does she thinks like im a lousy therapist who cant handle her boy or she thinks that im already trying my best? u know, sometimes when the mom sits in, i cant be myself. its like everything i do, i must make sure im doing it according to her way and that comprises of the way i speak to the boy, the way i carry out my task etc. and i did a wrong move man. i was asking the boy to do a twisting task to practise his fine motor skill and i thought it was fine for me to increase the level of difficulty by giving one of the token that is slightly harder to twist (the boy has already mastered this task), but i was wrong! he was doing well and twisting really hard to get the token in but i think he got irritated at the end of it. he tapped my hand and asked for help and he suddenly cried. as in, reallly cried at the top of his voice and he started being disruptive. AND THATS IT. i lost him for the next 1 hr. nth interest him after that and it was a hard time man.

fri
sch as usual. lessons from 8am to 4pm followed by therapy at 5.30pm. somehow, the boy was an angel today =D totally cooperative. i guess over the 5 therapy sessions, im starting to learn to handle him. i guess i was too task-focused and i overloaded him somehow. and i was trying all ways to build rapport with him every session because he doesnt play with me. or rather, he dont see the need to play. so i decided to take it easy this session and it turns out pretty fine! of course, the success of it very much depends on the boy's mood on that day too. and i realised he likes people to carry him and turn in circles so i did. its like every 15mins or so, i will carry him and turn in circles. and i make sure he drinks water (because he doesnt understand that he is thirsty, he just get irritated), like lots of it so he remains well hydrated and not be disruptive ( i hope), i make sure i gave him lots of break time (which means, giving him books or toys for sensory stimulation. he likes to flip books which is a form of stereotypical or repetitive behaviour commonly seen in children with autism), i make sure im using as few words as possible to convey my meaning to him because if he doesnt understand what im trying to say, he will switch off and it wouldnt be easy to get him back again. ok, too much things to take into consideration, i shall stop here. but on the whole, fri's session was the best so far.

sat
decided to head out to airport to study. which was a brilliant choice because it was productive. i seriously cant stay at home to study man. studied till 6, met jiaji for dinner and home.

sun
proven that i cant study at home.

ok, the end for this week! need to study for my personality test!

realised i have not been blogging for weeks!

been too busy writing assignments and studying for tests =/ ask me anything about homosexual or sexual orientation, i think i can tell u everything under the sky after writing 2000 words abt it.

conducted 5 therapy sessions so far with my boy. the first few sessions were fine as the boy was compliant etc. but as i slowly progress into more sessions with him, i start to wonder whether i can do it or not. the 5th session was a nightmare. ok, not exactly that bad but i really couldnt handle his behaviour. he was like kicking me and pulling my hair and i was like 'oh dear, whats next' i guess i need to come up with better plans already.

ok, im getting back to my notes. test tml!

reunion dinner at ah ma's house followed by reunion dessert with cousins!


went down to mac for ice cream cones because we were bored at ah ma's house. haha!! it was like a mini cousin outing =))

CHINESE NEW YEAR PLUS DADDY'S BIRTHDAY =DDD

happpppyy birthdayyyyy dadddy =D

hah! this is what me and my sis would do when we have nth to do at home....heh...

we look like a couple man...hahha!

sisters and cousins =) e 9 of us!

my very cute little niece eris! =DD she is reallllllllllyyyyyyyyy cuteeeeeeeeeeee. omg! i love little kids =D

completed my therapist training! =) finalllyyy...after all the rushing from sch to therapy sessions and back to sch to clock the hours...and this morning, i woke up with muscle aches everywhere all because of the 2 therapy sessions i had yesterday. they were slightly low functioning and it was not easy getting them to comply with me so i literally had to grab them and place them on their chairs over n over again every few seconds =/ its surprising to see that they know how to test for boundaries just like any other kids and they were testing me everytime im there =/ that explains for my muscle aches =x but it was especially heart warming when the kid came up to me and cuddled me =)) whether it was a form of tactile stimulation for them or a genuine form of wanting to be cuddled, it doesnt really matter to me actually. at least, i considered that as a form of initiating communication and thats good for them.

proper therapy with my kid will start next fri! i hope things will turn out fine!

its cny but im not feeling the mood for it =/ probably because i haven hear any cny songs to get me into the mood and partly because I HAVE ESSAYS, TEST AND TUTORIALS ALL DUE DURING CNY! how to enjoy my so called 'holidays' =/

and i need to get my engine started again! its always the case of faulty engine at the start of every semester. need to be motivated to get myself studying....0.02 to my target CAP! press on!

and i was talking to my friend when i mentioned, 'my dad sets the benchmark for his daughters in finding husband' HAHA! seriously man...my friend was saying my sisters and i are so pampered by my parents. hahhaha!! which is true to an extent i guess. its like it seems absolutely sound that guys should pick up and send girls home when they are out. guys should hold the doors for girls. guys should offer to foot the bill (offer is an act of gentleman-ness, doesnt necessarily mean that he must n have to pay) guys should help girls to carry heavy stuff. guys should be understanding and considerate to girls etcc...what i see in my dad, it naturally seems to me that guys should possess these characteristics. maybe thats why bks always say girls tend to look for a husband that is somewhat the same as their dad and vice versa for guys.

AND I CANT WAIT FOR MARCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! helllo feb, even though u have just arrived, can you quicken ur steps and let march take over? plsssssss?!

okkkkkkkkkkkkkk.....i better be focused and do my essay! get it over and done with so i can celebrate cny in peace..........

went out with cj for a short awhile and we headed to the airport. boarded the sky train and there was this lady who was rushing for the sky train and she slipped and fell. initially i thought she was fine until i saw her wound. i got a shock. she slipped and fell into the train with her knee hitting straight at the metal thing. you know when the door closes, there's always this metal thing. i don't know how to say but her knee kind of sliced through the metal thing. her flesh literally split and i could see her flesh and everything else. OMG! i swear i cringed when i saw her wound. cj and i then went up to her to help her. and there were 2 other men who offered to help too. so i stayed with the girl while 2 men went off to get the staff. omg. i must say she is reallllllly calm and strong. i tried to keep her occupied by talking to her hoping it will help to lessen her pain. seriously, when she removed the tissue paper on her knee, i cringed. thinking back, i nva rmb being afraid of seeing open wounds but now, im getting all jittery when i saw it. signs of ageing man =( and i really want to question why is changi airport considered best airport?! the medical staff took eon years to come and when the airport staff came like 10-15mins later, she was more concerned about writing her report than being concern abt the girl's wound!!! she just went 'oh, what happened? where u fell? u fell because there was water on the ground? u fell at t1 or t3? how u fell?' and she just went on n on n on...HELLO?! the poor girl is already in pain! GET THE MEDICAL STAFF! roars! and the girl had to rush for her flight somemore. oh man. i reallly hope she will be fine after the stiches. accompanied her till the medical staff came. AND THE MEDICAL STAFF CAME WITHOUT A FIRST AID KIT! BEST! he came with a wheelchair =/ OMG. i reallly reallly hope she will be fine. she is an australian coming to singapore for a holiday and she has to fall on the night of her departure. =(

met up with TRIOS for dinner + shopping today =) and i finally bought my heels after considering for a week!

christmas card + new year card from meijuan =))) THANKS GIRL!

i don't know what got onto me on sunday night. i went to bed at 1am, tried reallllllly hard to slp but i just couldnt. plugged music, listen to radio but i just couldnt slp. and then i started tearing god noes why. i just cried, it was as if the tears were like caged in my eyes for too long, needing to escape. i thought of the past, present and future and the combination of everything just made my tears flow. the clock struck 3am and i was still wide awake with my teary eyes =( night time always make me a vulnerable little girl. sigh. the clock struck 4am, i tried to slp again. and then i found myself waking up at 7am with a mind clogged with thoughts. i decided to head down for a quick run before i bathe n head for school.

emo nemo.

i tried to understand myself. was it a case of suppressing my emotions too much again? or was it that cup of coffee i drank that made me insomia and to think of all the nonsensical thoughts? sigh. it was a case of don't-know-what-happen-to-me night. boohoo! and i realise my emotions are taking on roller coaster rides these days.

maybe someone should just come up with a machine that erases sad memories. all of it. guys are just jerks =( damn. im always at the losing end. whether is it the past or present, im just a puppet emotionally manipulated. RAHH!

that happy looking me was all just a facade.