hotel stay at st regis with family =DD damn awesome hotel with excellent service. im someone who cant stand poor service so st regis was way good. we even had a butler whom we can call when we need anything like tea etc.

the awesomely big toilet...

can watch tv when u soak in the bathtub...

my sisters =)

all the alcohol..hahah! and and and! saw this 2 metal tin at the side of the drawer? i did a damn retarded thing.

me: (saw this metal tin that reads "intimate kit" )wah, they have such nice tin for sewing kit eh?

er jie: oh, whats that? (pointing to the "intimate kit')

me: sewing kit

da jie: WHAT SEWING KIT?! ITS CONDOM LA!

me: *turned the tin to the back and read the content - '3 x-brand condom, 2 x-brand lubricant'

HAHA. omg. literally rolled on the floor and laughed. condom says condom la...what intimate kit =/ intimate kit reminds me of lingerie. you know, like you need to sew back ur lingerie or smth. =/

damn cute! they have a pillow menu to choose from! =)

my parents' hotel room

and their toilet nicer than ours! hahaha! the tub is in the middle of the toilet and the black screen is the tv.



dined at angus house =) and we had this room to ourselves because they didnt have enough seats for us! haha! as if we were some VIP or smth. but yea, for the same price we get to enjoy some privacy.

appetiser!


my salmon roe and abalone spag

dessert!

no photos for the soup and salad!

and we had wine before bed!

nice way to spend the weekends, sitting on sofa and sipping tea =))) sauna, hydromassage, steam bath were awesome. love.

had therapy session after i reached hm. the boy was down with fever due to side effect of medication and i felt damn heartache to see him all so tired and groggy and still having to sit through the session with me =/ i acceded to his request for bed and he just lied on bed with his teary eyes, wanting to slp and there i was trying to get him to work after a couple of minutes. all i wanted to do was to hug the boy and tell him he will be ok soon. poor thing =(

baked cookies!

my cookies in the ovennn..

but i think i haven been baking cookies for long. it tasted a little substandard. haha! ok nvm. still edible. =)

updates updates!

my 2 weeks of break from internship is goooood =D although technically speaking, i only work 4hrs a day for my internship but still, NO WORK = HAPPY =D yes.

and I DYED MY HAIR ON MY OWN =) haha! ok la, not exactly on my own. more of me mixing the solution and reading the instruction to my mum and my mum helped me do the rest. hahah! so i got nice chestnut brown hair now =) or simply put, ka zhua brown. HAHA! and apparently ONLY VALERIE COULD TELL THE COLOUR DIFF. omg. guys are bad at it. i met ben and guanning and they went 'u mean u dyed?!' ITS PRETTY OBVIOUS ISNT IT?! ok, maybe the colour hasnt shown back then.

and i was surprised to receive postcard sent by guan ning while he was in cambodia doing volunteer work. hahahha! apparently the postcard reached me on the same day he returned to singapore. hahahha! postcard n guanning were on the same flight =/ but yea, it was sweet of him to send postcards to us =)

met val ydae for TEA, ok COFFEE for me =) sat down, chillax and talked =D this is called QUALITY TIME. everytime i rationalise things out, i seem to get a clearer picture. For now, the answer seems clear. i don't know abt tml. shrugged. leave that aside. met up with guan ning for dinner and off to ymca for meeting =) actually i cant wait for the camp to start =) i bet it will be awesome.

ben10 sends me a emo nemo songg!

最熟悉的陌生人 - 萧亚轩

还记得吗 窗外那被月光染亮的海洋
你还记得吗 是爱让彼此把夜点亮
为何后来我们 用沉默替代依赖
曾经朗朗星空 渐渐阴霾

心碎离开 转身回到最初荒凉里等待
为了寂寞 是否找个人填心中空白
我们变成了世上 最熟悉的陌生人
今后各自曲折 各自悲哀

只怪我们爱得那么汹涌 爱得那么深
于是梦醒了 搁浅了 沉默了挥手了 却回不了神
如果当初在交会时能忍住了 激动的灵魂
也许今夜我不会让自己在思念里 沉沦

我们变成了世上最熟悉的陌生人
今后各自曲折 各自悲哀

no matter how much i have gotten over past relationships, a part of me still holds on to some memories and i think the most hurtful thing is to realise that someone whom you have been close to turn stranger the next day. whether it was a logical mutual decision or a one-sided decision, it hurts. it makes me feel afraid to carry on another relationship, to carry on something that perhaps has no future. cause dao tou lai, im just hurting myself again, no?

was talking to val and we were saying we all hate certain parts of ourselves. totally agree. sometimes i find myself looking fat and i hate it, sometimes i think im ugly. i guess we have moments when we suffer from some kind of low self esteem. the worst came when the december incident made me lost myself. it was as if i was fending on my own because i know no one can help me out of it if i don't help myself. i will still cry if the incident surfaced in my mind but so what? i need to learn to deal with it and i have no one to blame. blame who? confide in who? i became pretty paranoid after that but no, i won't let it affect me. rationalisation, denial and repression seem to be my defense mechanism for long time.

BEN10! ur fault la, make me listen to the song then i emo! no cookies for u!

NO WORK TODAY!!! =DDDD felt so good that i didnt have to go to work today that i stayed up till 3am the night before talking to friends online =)

and finally i had the time to make waffles for breakfast! =)


my breakfast! looks gd?

and i was clearing my drawer in the afternoon and i dug out my box of st john stuff =)


st john made up the bulk of my secondary sch days man....

and guess what? i found neoprint i took with valerie years back!

VALERIE! i hope u dun mind me posting this on my blog! hahha! it has been 8 YEARS!

its 12am and im still here working =/ ever since the new MP took over...'meet the ppl session' has never ended early =x i shld convince my dad to let me drive to work so i wun have to cab home late at night!

meeting dr so this fri and i have yet to brainstorm my research question. panic button on-ed =x




its this lack of security that makes me feel damn !@#!#$@#$, why am i so bothered by it?! roars!

met up with mr huang my pri sch friend to fulfil our otherwise unfulfiled wish of going out for ice cream. HAHA! this is damn funny. our talk abt going out for ice cream has dragged for 2 yrs! awesome =/ it was nice sitting at vivo skypark eating our ben and jerry ice cream and catching up with one another. our emo nemo talk. and we got to see pretty fireworks at where we were sitting =) cool. and we had nth better to do we walked to keppel bay. it's a pretty place that i've always wanted to go! =) imagine owning a yatch man. ahhh...

and my er jie was funny. we were talking that day when she randomly went...

erjie: oh! i read ur blog!
me: wah, u will read one ah..
erjie: ya...cox i haven heard from u for long..
me: HAHAHAHHA! =x

and yes, that day i overheard a convo during my work between 2 kids
kid A: hey! this is my dad! he is 43 years old!
kid B: oh! my dad is 42 years old! MY DAD IS CATCHING UP SOON!

got the joke?

HHAHAHA! don't u think they are damn cute? i was laughing when the kid went 'my dad is catching up soon' because his dad will nva catch up with kid A's dad =)

mok was damn random to call me in midnight 12.20am!!!!! just to ask me which clothes to buy from f21! AHHHH! she woke me up from slp just to ask that!!

ITS SISTER'S OUTING! =D

watched kung fu panda 2 with my er jie because we have 2 free tickets from my da jie! =))) YOU KNOW WHAT? I LAST WATCHED A MOVIE LIKE LAST SEPT?! omg. 8mths of not stepping into a cinema =/ no life. im not exactly a 'cartoon' movie person but i think i haven been catching a movie for long, so it was pretty entertaining for me. HAHA!

andd...i was on a bus when this bus driver turned and winked at me! twice somemore. initially i thought he wanted to say i didnt tap my ezlink card (which i did) or smth, but when he suddenly smiled and winked at me, i stunned. i bet he got bored driving the bus.

i got back my results! =) CAP 4.75 this sem (after i s/u one module) ! =)) my hardwork paid off =) GOOD JOB!

anw, it was a long long day for me today. ended work at 3pm, flew to sch for research till 6pm and went for meeting at ymca at 7pm! ended at 10plus 11 and had my 'lunch+dinner+supper' at 12am!

volunteer work with special needs children =) and i so happpen to bump into my st john squadmate!!! OMG! so coincidental. and i felt much more comfortable with the outing today because i start to see familiar faces around, those that i saw from previous outing =) and i could better interact with the kids too =)


my st john mate on the left! =))

met guan ning after my volunteer work and WALKED to bugis to meet the rest for dinnnerrrr!


tgyc dinner! =D its nice to see that newly formed friendship holds through even after the camp ended like half yr ago =) cheers!

she who cant be named says:
http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=sale&product%5Fid=2000007390&Page=1

me says:
what with that?

she who cant be named says:
i duno
see like ur style so v excited
then paste for u le
hahaha

me says:
omg.

she who cant be named says:
still too conservative for u i think

me says:
YAR!

the above convo made me laugh man. omg. fairies always say my style of dressing is classified as 'skimpy' = tube top, tube dress, short skirt, paired with my 'ling ling long longs' (aka bangles)

walao. I BEG TO DIFFER. not all the time ok.

don't feel good today. felt i could have handled my girl a whole lot better =(

STORY TIME.
the teacher took out a board and a box full of alphabets in class. the children were asked to spell by arranging those alphabets and sticking them on the board. my girl protested upon seeing the board and box of alphabets that she started throwing tantrum even though it was not her turn to do the spelling. she screamed and cried and started messing with the board and alphabets, standing up and moving around. token reinforcement worked in getting her sitting nicely on the floor but that didnt sustain long enough because she started her next cycle of tantrum. tried bringing her out for a walk but she threw yet another cycle of tantrum =/ she threw the slippers on the floor, cried even LOUDER and ran off =/ helpless me tried holding on to her to get her quiet but it didnt work. she cried and screamed so loudly until the director came out and asked me what happened. =/ so, the director led her into the office and told me to ignore her crying and tantrums. just ensure her safety but not giving her any attention at the same time. and finally, she decided to calm down and stayed quiet after some time.

the next cycle of tantrum came again during maths lesson when she was expected to sit on chair to do her maths question. faced with her tantrums again, i tried token reinforcement on her and thank goodness it worked. the only time i felt in control.

and next, she fell alsp during chinese class =/ TOOK ME A WHOLE LOT OF EFFORT TO GET HER EYES OPEN. wiping her face with cold towel, making her jump etc all didnt work actually.

the accumulation of everything made today a pretty challenging day. i felt damn lousy after work because i just felt i could have handled her better. i admit i got pretty helpless and exasperated with her at times because i really find it hard to understand her on top of all her tantrums =( its very different from doing therapy. therapy is 1 on 1 and there is a clear boundary and expectation from the therapist and the child. but for a girl who has not been through any therapy, its hard to instill that sort of boundary and expectation during class time. i mean, im not saying its impossible but to drill her during classtime is difficult and its beyond the job scope of a shadow teacher anyway. sigh.

4hrs of dealing with tantrums n behavioural issues
= LOTS OF PATIENCE AND DETERMINATION

i swear by the end of my internship, i'll be so patient no one will ever provoke me man.

sometimes i wonder would my girl be better off if she is placed in therapy or special need school instead? im quite sure she is not learning optimally in the mainstream because those things taught in class are way above her capability despite being matched on mental age. and classroom setting is hard for her to learn because the teacher's attention is divided among other children and she will just be sitting there vocalising/exhibiting stimulating behaviour. is that even helpful at all? and its pointless for me to keep redirecting her attention to the teacher when obviously she is not absorbing. i don't really know how to voice this to the mother. im sure she has reasons for placing her child in mainstream. perhaps to learn socially appropriate behaviour, or prep her for normal classroom setting etc. but oh well. im just a new shadow teacher, i shall just observe for a longer period and see how things go.

alright, put that aside. tml will be a better day i hope. i'll just learn along the way and i need to learn faster!

AND MY MUMMY SAYS I LOST WEIGHT! hahahha! IF ONLY MAN. i still weigh the same =( i guess she hasnt been seeing me most of the days thats y. hahaha!

still in the process of researching for my honours thesis. i think my hypothesis for now sounds abit duh =/

ok, i shall stop blogging. time to go work again! i hope 'meet the ppl session' ends early tonight!

schedule for upcoming week
mon - internship + 'meet the people' session at night
tue - internship + meet fairies for bbq n swim in the evening!
wed - internship + back sch to meet prof for thesis in the evening
thurs - internship + therapy session in the evening
fri - internship + therapy session in the evening
sat - N.O.T.H.I.N.G
sun - volunteer work + dinner with friends

very 'exciting' week ahead. i think i shld slp early like NOW.

and oh! i generated a short wishlist! hahahha! (fairies! take ur pick ok! =p)

1. bag
2. clutch
3. wallet
4. cardigans
5. wedges
6. bottle
7. black romper

im starting to feel that my very LONGGGGG hair is a hindrance now given the very HOTTTTT weather =x but i cant bear to cut it because it took my hair more than a year to grow till this length...im so tempted to curl it actually...

and im getting so many bruises lately. 10 bruises to be exact on my knees and arms. too much of kneeling on the floor and fighting with kids. haahha!

met fairies after my work =))) finallly the 5 of us are free to meet up =) headed to arab street for dinner and the place was so empty we literally camwhored there.

haha! ah na's expression =p

hahahha! i think this is so funny!

na, sian and ryl decorated this cake for mok =) too bad i had to work, if not i think the cake would be prettier! HAHAHAHA =PPP

went shopping around haji lane and arab street and ended our day with DESSERT =D

*slurp!

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MOK! =))

a day to laze at home =) helped my dad to paint the house! ok, actually i just contributed by painting one side of the door =p heh. wanted to bake shortbread too! but my house ran out of rice flour =/ ended up i was on f21 website shopping for clothes the whole afternoon. haha!

i cant believe the 'meet the ppl' session ended at 1+am yesterday! near 90 ppl turned up. the after effect of election =/ everyone just swarmed down to see the MP and that made all of us worked late into the night. and i was shocked to see that there were still train services at 1+am! does smrt operates till wee hours during eve of public holiday? hmm...

met na for high tea last week =))) its good that i end work at 3pm daily. heh. nice timing for high tea with girlfriends <3 i enjoy just sitting there the whole afternoon with my gfs, catching up with one another, savouring our scones/sandwiches and whatsnot, taking a sip of our tea. ahhh...thats enough to make me happy already. just the thought of it makes me happy too. hahahha! i feel so girly =p i bet guys don't do such things.

our very yummy high tea set =)

photos for ben's 21st =DD

i got teary listening to this song. i think its so touching.

"What are Words" - Chris Medina
Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see
How every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I'm meant to be where I am
And I'm gonna be
Standing right beside her tonight

And I'm gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

I'm forever keeping my angel close

emo song. it makes me think alot. how do u judge whether that person is the right one for u? we all have our ideal kind of partner right? does that mean having found the ideal partner means that partner is the right one for u? if an ideal partner comes at the expense of not spending time with u, not being by ur side when u needed ur partner the most, is that still what u call ideal? and ideal is one thing, being able to get along is another thing. how do u noe whether the person is ideal when both are living in different parts of the world?

nike run with my sis =) the so called 'goddness' run because it's a run just for girls..hahaha! seriously bimbotic run because girls were running with cameras?! =/ and we get trophies and flowers after the run. hahahha! and there were this whole bunch of bangla workers crowding right at the starting line with their cameras and busy snapping photos of girls running. seriously, what the...

tired us after running...

heh. my very tight schedule today. met my friend for lunch at 12.30pm, home by 2.30pm and left for marina barrage for nike run at 3pm. home at 8pm and out again at 8.45pm for ben's 21st birthday! =) and starbucks with guan ning and zhen yuan till 1+ am and home at 2am! tired to the max.

me: i think i have such a common face i don't really leave an impression on ppl
zhenyuan: u do. u are like soooo fair.
me: =/

started internship! =))

good that my internship starts at 11am and ends at 3pm daily =) muahaha! at least i do not have to wake up at like 7am =/ and i can still continue with my therapy from 5to 7pm on thurs n fri, and my 'meet the ppl' session on mon night =) good planning with perfect timing! haha!

first day with my girl and i have lots to learn. i really need to think of something to get her to engage with others. its a social deficit that is probably persistent throughout people with autism and i noe it wouldnt be easy to change my girl especially when im not even like her therapist or anything. but oh well. let me build some rapport with her first. i don't know how long that will take when she doesnt let me enter into her world. and having not much experience dealing with echolalia (one of the characteristics of autism but it doesnt apply to all), sometimes i find it hard to communicate or understand what she is saying because she is practically repeating what i have just said in the exact tone. its like i ask her 'do you want to drink?' and she replies 'want a drink?' so do i take that as she wants the drink or don't want the drink?

but oh well, she's still an adorable girl just like my boy =) haha! i don't really wan to mention their names so bear with all the saying of 'girl' and 'boy'. heh.

headed to pasir ris next for therapy with my boy. was like physical exercise today because he couldnt sit still and hence all the carrying and making him sit nicely admist all the sceaming. but he was fine on the whole and he is progressing well =)

FREEDOM!

even though the paper was like #Q%@$^&#%&%&#Q$#...but oh well. ITS ALL OVER! =D i did what i could in 2hrs and i shall just hope for the best.

and yes, went out with xinyi and she brought me to some middle eastern restaurant at arab street. can u believe i HAVE NOT BEEN TO ARAB STREET?! hahah! oh man. i think im living in a cave or smth. but yea, dinner was good with nice ambience in the restaurant. and many people were smoking shisha i almost suffocate when i walked past the 'smoking room' (we were dining in the non-smoking room)...i cant imagine how they eat in the midst of all the smoke =/

and we had a long talk =) i think girls can reallllly TALK ALOT. our 10hrs worth of discussion the day before and at least 6hrs of talking non-stop after our paper ended.

i cant believe me and xinyi just studied for 10 HOURS STRAIGHT with the exception of 1 toilet break. studying for 'atypical development and language development' is driving us mad. by the time we stepped out of the lib, i was like totally drained already.

last paper tml! im smelling the air of freedom =D

1 more paper and im done =) wheeee!

that day my boy was reallly cute. he was jumping up and down on the bed and the wooden plank dislodged. he actually tried fixing it on his own and after speaking to his mum, i realised that it was actually an act of imitation - he had seen his mother fixing the bed in everyday life and hence he modelled the act. impressive. its not easy for a chid with autism to do that. well done boy! =) but I was not strong enough to lift up the mattress entirly for him to fix the plank properly =/ hahah! and he got so bothered he refused to sit nicely on the chair so that I could start the session. ended up, i hid the wooden plank - out of sight out of mind. and having to do near 4 sessions in a row got me a little stress. not the therapy that is stressing me but the time im left with to study for my last paper =/ i hope i can handle it.

and oh! i emailed my prof asking her to be my supervisor for honours thesis and i was surprised that she rmbs me even though im such a low profile student! ok, maybe it was out of courtesy that she said she rmbs me. hahah! oh well. anyway, its a good start that i found a prof =) its kind of scary to think that i need to conduct a research all on my own now.

and im mourning over the loss of 2marks for my paper today =/ i hate it when i make a mistake on things that i ought to know.

2 papers down! 2 more to go and im done with examss!

ryl just suggested an exciting 'post exam' plan - cooking 3 cai 1 tang! hahah! i really think my clique of friends are laying the path towards being a good wife. hahah!

and i wan a short getaway!!!! lets hope i find good bargain for bali. fairies! if u are reading my blog, u are invited! ryl and i are planning...sooo...if u all can make it, let us noe! =)

and someone enlighten me pls. what should my ans be?

i shall do a quick blog before i slp. my only entertainment in life now. haha! im so getting sick of studying man. CANT WAIT FOR EXAMS TO BE OVER LIKE NOW! zzzzz.

oh! i saw chameleon and wild dog when i ran yesterdae. and im going nike run with my sis and meijuan =) hee!

therapy session with moses today was good =) after 15-16 sessions with him, I FINALLY FOUND A WAY TO PLAY WITH HIM. like finally i could interact with him properly with him giving me appropriate response. good job! =) and im starting to feel attached to him and i reallly realllly want him to improve. i want him to be better functioning so that his parents will not worry over him, so that his parents can bring him out like any other kids. i guess moses is really lucky in some sense because his parents are realllly doing alot to have him become better. i have came across parents who are not doing much for their kids and only relying on the help of therapists which is definitely not going to be sufficient.

i think my stomach is getting mixed signal. a mixture of coffee + chicken essence. haha!! weird combi.

im ending exam on the 4th and my internship starts on the 5th! i foresee that my summer break will be super meaningful. haha! ok...i better go recharged myself.

goodnight!

for the first time, i worked till 12.30am last night!!! i cant believe there were so many people queuing to see the MP ydae. but it was damn funny because mr low was asking me how im going home. so i said im going to take a cab. and he and the new MP each took out $50 wanting to give me to take cab home. i ran off and the new MP came chasing after me trying to stuff the money into my hand. haha! i have good employers huh? but of course i didnt take the money. and mr low went 'i'll put into ur payroll if u are not taking the money' haha! mr low is funny la.

went for a run this evening and i always think running around punggol is interesting. i have seen snake, wild dogs, centipedes, millipedes, rats and today i saw MONKEY! i was running towards punggol jetty and i was wondering why were leaves falling on my head. i looked up and i saw a monkey swinging from trees to trees =/ xia si wo le. i was waiting for the traffic when i saw this car stalled. i took a closer look and hey! thats my driving instructor's car! haha! remind me of those days when i stalled like mad and he shouted at me like nuts. haha!

alright. back to my books!

my high fever must had made me retarded =/ i was seriously silly man. i was heading to airport to study on saturday and because starbucks does not allow people to study, i was thinking of heading to mac. and so i alighted at t3 and i walked the entire t3 and i couldnt find the usual mac that i always go to. so i checked the directory and i thought to myself 'yea, theres a mac here. but why cant i find it?!' i walked and walked and it suddenly occured to me that i was at the wrong terminal =x actually theres a mac at t3 too but i must have been really bad at direction because i couldnt find it either. =x


and the next retarded thing i did was to throw away my notes!!!!!! i finished my essay and i was clearing my stuff and i guess i must have chucked my notes into the stack of newspapers =/ and i think my mum sold it to the garang guni already =/ zzzzz. and babe was nice to lend me her notes to zap! =p and i felt so bad having her to travel to northpoint just to pass me the notes. and you know what?!!! i got confused with 804 and 854 =/ok nvm. save the explanation here.


the third retarded thing was....i was surfing facebook when i saw meijuan posted this 'The only way to get rid of a shadow is to turn off the lights, stop running from the darkness and face what u fear, head on' me: hey i came across this quote toooo!! and i retweeted it! meijuan: haha! i took it from your blog lah! me: OMG. DID I BLOG THIS? oh yea i think i did =/ silly me.


anyway, dinner was good today because i dined out with my family! =) i always feel happier when i have my dinner outside with my family. haha! and the gem at punggol is really pretty! the view is good and the stroll after dinner was nice coupled with the full moon and the sky filled with stars =D i love gazing at starsssss =)))


AND YES! I WENT WEECARE AT TANGLIN THAT DAY and the kids were totally ADORABLE. OMG!!! and yes, i got my internship as a shadow teacher for this girl with autism. so i went down last tue for an observation session. i guess theres still a stark contrast between typical and atypical children afterall. alright. its time to study hard during this study break! AND IM TOTALLY TROUBLING OVER WHAT I SHOULD DO FOR MY THESIS? which prof to work with? what research area to look into? autism? developmental? language? behavioural therapies? intervention? aggression? violence? AHHH.

my worst fever ever. let me whine about it. fell sick on sat and after eating 6 panadols, my fever and headache did not subside at all and in fact, the tempt went up. i was all alone at home on sunday morning, resting in bed and feeling reallly damn sick. i took my tempt and it read '39.7' and i thought to myself 'damn. i hope i don't become retarded =/' i called my parents telling them i wanted to see a doc. and then, i waited 2 HOURS for them to be back home =/ i was almost dead by then =/ i was like buring inside and i had to crawl out of my bed in my dizzy floaty state just to wet a cloth n put it on my forehead hoping the tempt will drop. sigh. i feel so poor thing. sniff. after seeing a doc and after eating 6 different kinds of medicine (yea, SIX TYPES OF MEDICINES), my fever strangely didnt subside and it went up to 39.6 =/ continued slping for the rest of the day and continued downing myself with the medications and it slowly became better today! and i lost 1kg! thats how sick i was.

birthday surprise for meijuan =DDD TRIOS!! =) always in need to camwhore despite the narrow mirror =/ hahah!!

our swensen ice cream cake came as a surprise to meijuan =)

presents for her!

just in case u guys think it was a 3 girls' outing. heh. sahal was there too! just that he isnt into camwhoring like GIRLS. =P

more photos while we waited for sahal to try on clothes. hahha!

the end!

Volunteer work at east coast park last weekend (or is it last last weekend?) =)) we were almost burnt under the hot sorching sun =x it was a nice experience despite ending up being station master and helping the kids and families take photos =) i mean, it would have been more interactive if we get to play with the kids but it was fine. we had fun too. hurray to volunteering! =D

im forced to sign up for twitter just to churn out a 5 pg report on it =/

came across a quote in twitter that says "she comes off as stong, but maybe she fell asleep crying. she acts like nothing is wrong, but maybe she's just really good at lying"....i think that is so me. no worries, im not emo-ing =)

just that i guess this phrase pretty much speaks of the kind of person i am. when something unpleasant happens, i won't tell others. and i find myself tearing before i slp and waking up pretending nth had happened. until the unpleasant event is over and i have calmed myself down, would i let others know abt it. or maybe, i won't even say it at all.

anyway, met joyce in the late morning after my morning lecture! =) lunched, bought stuff and studied together before i headed back sch again for lessons. personality lecture was funny today because the lecturer was sharing with us some cultural differences when he was studying in canada.

my lecturer went to a restaurant and wanted to order something

waiter: u want super salad?
lecturer: (super salad? thats not in the menu but it sounds good) ok, 1 super salad!
waiter: super salad?
lecturer: yea, super salad.
waiter: i mean do you want SOUP or SALAD?!

funny right? =p

passerby A: do you have the time?
lecturer: yes, i have lots of time
passerby A: i mean do u have the time?
lecturer: uh huh, i have lots of free time

dont get it? the passerby A is actually asking for the time and my lecturer misunderstood him.

my eye candy is cute =p hahahhaha!! reminds me of my pokka days.

HAPPPPY BIRTHDAYYY RYLLL!! (i noe u will read my blog! u better be. )

sat
volunteer work with allena at east coast park in the morning =) i always feel happier doing volunteer work =) thumbs up! headed to starbucks at tanjong pagar to study, which was absolutely conducive to do work =) met my family for dinner after that. dinner was damn awkward because we were having dinner with my sis's fiance's family. hahah!! but eventually it turned out pretty fine i guess.

sun
met ryl for a run in the afternoon. believe it or not, we two ran at 12pm in the afternoon. best. hahaha!! it was a mini-adventure as we explored this forest look-alike place behind her house. hee! continued to run and started eyeing on landed property along the way. haha! and yes! i want to buy audi car in future! i think audi car looks good =)

ran back bathed, lunched and we studied! girls' talk always make me go into dilemma. ok, i was already in a dilemma just that ryl's perspective make me even more confused! but sometimes its not as easy as 1+1 kind of thing. im still a human eh, sometimes being rational may not necessarily be the ideal decision. and ryl and na have been bugging me to tell them what happened in dec two years back. sigh. if i could say, i would. but its not something glamourous to share about and im only begining to walk out of it. so ryl and na! dun say i unfriendly dont wan to share!

mon
prof was sharing with us a nus yr 4 student was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and she left only a year to live. damn. PEOPLE! PLEASE GO FOR HEALTH SCREENING! and halfway through the lecture his phone rang and he told us his patient in difficult labour. *admire, no im not admiring that his patient is in difficult labour but more so of his capability. aiya, don't know how to express. my fetish. haha! just a general statement, i think capable ppl always end up in a divorce or break up because they are not spending enough time with their other half. we cant seem to get the best of both world eh?

The only way to get rid of a shadow is to turn off the lights, stop running from the darkness & face what you fear, head on - grey's anatomy

i guess this very much speaks abt my life.

im absolutely irritated. ROARSSS!! and my period has to come of all time. mood swing to the max.

i really don't understand why am i studying physics now. i have absolutely no idea how i studied physics when i was in jc or secondary sch. sigh.

to take psychology is a right choice.

im dead tired. long day today. had therapy session in the morning, school in the afternoon and work at night =/ i seriously think im working more than im studying this semester. and im having an interview for my internship at WeeCare in the following week. hope i can get it. would be a good experience for me and maybe i can learn ways to handle my boy as well. much needed.

lectures in the afternoon was funny. the prof was talking abt andropause and how men are so affected because they cant get it up like before. how their refractory period is longer when they are older to the extent that sometimes it may takes days or months for it to have a response again. he started citing examples and he started laughing to himself. haha! funny prof. i kind of admire him actually. because i think he is very zai. he was telling us he was on plane when he had to attend to 1 passenger with ectopic pregnancy and another 1 with asthma. i think its damn cool. and that day he was showing us videos on the 5 different methods to deliver a baby. it was damn gross because the first video showed the doctor cutting the vagina because the cervix did not dilate enough and all the blood and fluid and whatever was everywhere =/ and the caesarean method was ermm..none the better. i didnt know the whole uterus can be flipped out of the female's abdomen for the doctor to clean it. like literally stuff his hand into the uterus to clean it =/ and my prof had done all methods before. and i was like 'wahhhh, cooool'...i think knowledgeable and capable guys make me go 'wahhh' =)

volunteer work yesterday was nice =) brought the special needs children out to have fun, and im sure they did =)

MPS is not ending =( why are there so many residents with so many issues to be resolved?

ah die. i think im becoming a woman of few words. i don't know what to blog nowadays eh. right, lets backtrack and see what i have done this week...

mon
sch as usual, lessons from 10am to 4pm followed by meeting till 6.30pm. headed to yew tee for 'meet the people' session which freakingly ended at near 12AM!!! i was zombified during work probably because i had a long day in sch. and the fact that it ended way so late didnt help much huh. but mr yeo was nice thou, he asked me to leave first knowing that i live so far. but i stayed on since i probably have to cab home anyway. doesnt make much a diff.

tue
sch as usual. had presentation on autism research proposal. was fine i hope, even though the prof did mention certain things that we have overlooked. but oh well, which proposal/presentation aint flawless. studied at compasspt lib and met jiaji for dinner and home!

wed
lesson at freaking 8am = waking up at 6.15am =/ i almost fell aslp during lecture especially when the prof talked abt physics bio and whatever. zzzzz. headed to starbucks after lec ended and studied. the starbucks guy was nice to let me redeem a grande caramel machiatto because by right, redemption is only meant for tall size. heh! and west coast plaza starbucks is super conducive for studying =) love. headed back sch for personality lecture and home!

thurs
skipped my reproductive health tutorial since attendance wasnt counted and that was my only 1 hr of lesson, so i declared free thursday for me! therapy session in the evening. i always feel abit worried when i go for session. i really wonder how the mom thinks abt me when im doing the therapy. does she thinks like im a lousy therapist who cant handle her boy or she thinks that im already trying my best? u know, sometimes when the mom sits in, i cant be myself. its like everything i do, i must make sure im doing it according to her way and that comprises of the way i speak to the boy, the way i carry out my task etc. and i did a wrong move man. i was asking the boy to do a twisting task to practise his fine motor skill and i thought it was fine for me to increase the level of difficulty by giving one of the token that is slightly harder to twist (the boy has already mastered this task), but i was wrong! he was doing well and twisting really hard to get the token in but i think he got irritated at the end of it. he tapped my hand and asked for help and he suddenly cried. as in, reallly cried at the top of his voice and he started being disruptive. AND THATS IT. i lost him for the next 1 hr. nth interest him after that and it was a hard time man.

fri
sch as usual. lessons from 8am to 4pm followed by therapy at 5.30pm. somehow, the boy was an angel today =D totally cooperative. i guess over the 5 therapy sessions, im starting to learn to handle him. i guess i was too task-focused and i overloaded him somehow. and i was trying all ways to build rapport with him every session because he doesnt play with me. or rather, he dont see the need to play. so i decided to take it easy this session and it turns out pretty fine! of course, the success of it very much depends on the boy's mood on that day too. and i realised he likes people to carry him and turn in circles so i did. its like every 15mins or so, i will carry him and turn in circles. and i make sure he drinks water (because he doesnt understand that he is thirsty, he just get irritated), like lots of it so he remains well hydrated and not be disruptive ( i hope), i make sure i gave him lots of break time (which means, giving him books or toys for sensory stimulation. he likes to flip books which is a form of stereotypical or repetitive behaviour commonly seen in children with autism), i make sure im using as few words as possible to convey my meaning to him because if he doesnt understand what im trying to say, he will switch off and it wouldnt be easy to get him back again. ok, too much things to take into consideration, i shall stop here. but on the whole, fri's session was the best so far.

sat
decided to head out to airport to study. which was a brilliant choice because it was productive. i seriously cant stay at home to study man. studied till 6, met jiaji for dinner and home.

sun
proven that i cant study at home.

ok, the end for this week! need to study for my personality test!

realised i have not been blogging for weeks!

been too busy writing assignments and studying for tests =/ ask me anything about homosexual or sexual orientation, i think i can tell u everything under the sky after writing 2000 words abt it.

conducted 5 therapy sessions so far with my boy. the first few sessions were fine as the boy was compliant etc. but as i slowly progress into more sessions with him, i start to wonder whether i can do it or not. the 5th session was a nightmare. ok, not exactly that bad but i really couldnt handle his behaviour. he was like kicking me and pulling my hair and i was like 'oh dear, whats next' i guess i need to come up with better plans already.

ok, im getting back to my notes. test tml!

reunion dinner at ah ma's house followed by reunion dessert with cousins!


went down to mac for ice cream cones because we were bored at ah ma's house. haha!! it was like a mini cousin outing =))

CHINESE NEW YEAR PLUS DADDY'S BIRTHDAY =DDD

happpppyy birthdayyyyy dadddy =D

hah! this is what me and my sis would do when we have nth to do at home....heh...

we look like a couple man...hahha!

sisters and cousins =) e 9 of us!

my very cute little niece eris! =DD she is reallllllllllyyyyyyyyy cuteeeeeeeeeeee. omg! i love little kids =D

completed my therapist training! =) finalllyyy...after all the rushing from sch to therapy sessions and back to sch to clock the hours...and this morning, i woke up with muscle aches everywhere all because of the 2 therapy sessions i had yesterday. they were slightly low functioning and it was not easy getting them to comply with me so i literally had to grab them and place them on their chairs over n over again every few seconds =/ its surprising to see that they know how to test for boundaries just like any other kids and they were testing me everytime im there =/ that explains for my muscle aches =x but it was especially heart warming when the kid came up to me and cuddled me =)) whether it was a form of tactile stimulation for them or a genuine form of wanting to be cuddled, it doesnt really matter to me actually. at least, i considered that as a form of initiating communication and thats good for them.

proper therapy with my kid will start next fri! i hope things will turn out fine!

its cny but im not feeling the mood for it =/ probably because i haven hear any cny songs to get me into the mood and partly because I HAVE ESSAYS, TEST AND TUTORIALS ALL DUE DURING CNY! how to enjoy my so called 'holidays' =/

and i need to get my engine started again! its always the case of faulty engine at the start of every semester. need to be motivated to get myself studying....0.02 to my target CAP! press on!

and i was talking to my friend when i mentioned, 'my dad sets the benchmark for his daughters in finding husband' HAHA! seriously man...my friend was saying my sisters and i are so pampered by my parents. hahhaha!! which is true to an extent i guess. its like it seems absolutely sound that guys should pick up and send girls home when they are out. guys should hold the doors for girls. guys should offer to foot the bill (offer is an act of gentleman-ness, doesnt necessarily mean that he must n have to pay) guys should help girls to carry heavy stuff. guys should be understanding and considerate to girls etcc...what i see in my dad, it naturally seems to me that guys should possess these characteristics. maybe thats why bks always say girls tend to look for a husband that is somewhat the same as their dad and vice versa for guys.

AND I CANT WAIT FOR MARCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! helllo feb, even though u have just arrived, can you quicken ur steps and let march take over? plsssssss?!

okkkkkkkkkkkkkk.....i better be focused and do my essay! get it over and done with so i can celebrate cny in peace..........

went out with cj for a short awhile and we headed to the airport. boarded the sky train and there was this lady who was rushing for the sky train and she slipped and fell. initially i thought she was fine until i saw her wound. i got a shock. she slipped and fell into the train with her knee hitting straight at the metal thing. you know when the door closes, there's always this metal thing. i don't know how to say but her knee kind of sliced through the metal thing. her flesh literally split and i could see her flesh and everything else. OMG! i swear i cringed when i saw her wound. cj and i then went up to her to help her. and there were 2 other men who offered to help too. so i stayed with the girl while 2 men went off to get the staff. omg. i must say she is reallllllly calm and strong. i tried to keep her occupied by talking to her hoping it will help to lessen her pain. seriously, when she removed the tissue paper on her knee, i cringed. thinking back, i nva rmb being afraid of seeing open wounds but now, im getting all jittery when i saw it. signs of ageing man =( and i really want to question why is changi airport considered best airport?! the medical staff took eon years to come and when the airport staff came like 10-15mins later, she was more concerned about writing her report than being concern abt the girl's wound!!! she just went 'oh, what happened? where u fell? u fell because there was water on the ground? u fell at t1 or t3? how u fell?' and she just went on n on n on...HELLO?! the poor girl is already in pain! GET THE MEDICAL STAFF! roars! and the girl had to rush for her flight somemore. oh man. i reallly hope she will be fine after the stiches. accompanied her till the medical staff came. AND THE MEDICAL STAFF CAME WITHOUT A FIRST AID KIT! BEST! he came with a wheelchair =/ OMG. i reallly reallly hope she will be fine. she is an australian coming to singapore for a holiday and she has to fall on the night of her departure. =(