its meet up for the TRIOS! =)) WE HAVE NOT MET FOR 2 FREAKING LONG MONTHS! that seems so longgg! and as a result of that, we talked like we nva talked before...hahah!!

nice meeting up with the TRIOS! hugss!

i cant help but to dig out the past photos when we were still working at stradivarius....reminiscing man...damn, and i think i grew fatter comparing this old photo and the current one =x its time to diet man!

i've already chopped joyce to go run with me! MJ U ARE INVITED TOO!

and i went NEX with my mum today! it wasnt as BIG as what other people said but it was pretty alright la. and its damn funny just now when my daddy and mummy were both trying to make my hair. cox i bought this funny looking don't know call what thing to make my hair and i cant do it on my own!! and im amazed by my dad because he seemed more pro than my mum in making my hair! hahahaha!!

im contemplating whether to run or not =x

run?

don't run?

run?

i know i have gotten over it. but sometimes, i just think back about the past and i ponder. ponder about what i do not know. is just that tinge of....i really don't know how to describe...sadness? bitterness? that things have to end in such a manner? i was looking through past emails and relationship is such a freaky thing. can i have an insurance that will guarantee me that it will last?
- random thoughts, whether u understand me or not just ignore me!

perfect condition to run now. when ur head is all messed up with incoherent thoughts, running is the best solution. GOODBYE!

HAPPY 21ST REGINA! =)

my BFF from primary sch =DDDD i still remember the days when my BFF would send me home after school! cute right! we were only in pri 6 then!!! she is like my bodyguard! haahhaha!! and even up till today, 9 years down the road, she still sends me home!awwwwwwwwwww.....HUGS!

david the TALLLLLL and CLUBBER boy who is a law undergraduate in disguise...haha! he is soooo freaking talll =/

and u must be wondering why regina's 21st has no regina's face in my post eh. thats because she hasnt uploaded her photos and im itching to blog so i'll upload the rest of the photos when they are up!

the overseas call and sms warms my heart. thanks dude! keep them coming! and good luck for ur interview in a few hours time!

TOY STORY 3C has officially came to an end!


group shot!

the committee members!

Shi hui and Si hui =D

me and my assistant facililators =))) CJ and his cranky self =p the lightings make all of us so fair! which is not true ah, IM SUN BURNT!

my buddy during camp =)

my wonderful group =DDD

REFLECTION!
As much as we hope the children would learn from us during the camp, I must say I have learnt a lot from them too. For instance, I learnt to be more patient with myself and with the children, learnt to work with children and most importantly, learnt to deal with conflicts among the children. I must say dealing with conflicts among the children was not an easy feat and thus I would particularly like to thank CJ, Eileen and Zhenyuan. There are times when I am unsure of how to handle my children and I would turn to them for advice. They have been really helpful and have given me the needed guidance.

Also, the camp has given me the opportunity to bring myself down to the level of a child, to look at things from a child’s perspective and to understand how a child thinks and acts. In fact, it makes me ponder a lot. Philosopher John Locke posits the image of a child as ‘tabula rasa’ which means that when a child is born, he is born with nothing akin to a blank piece of paper. It is only through socialisation with surrounding people and environment that a child learns and develops to become who he is. I cannot help but to agree with what John Locke has to say about the importance of nurturing. Even though Toy Story 3C has only been a short 3 days 2 nights camp, I certainly do hope that these children through interacting and socialising with their facilitators and their peers, would picked up some good values and skills that would shape and mould them to become a better person in future.

In particular, I was heartened to see that my group’s children finally managed to take the first step out in overcoming their fear during high elements after all the persuasion and encouragement I gave them. I was really overwhelmed with emotions when I finally see them nod in agreement to try out high elements and yearning for more tries after they have successfully completed the obstacles. This camp has really helped the children by bolstering their level of confidence and self esteem to believe in their selves that they are capable of overcoming challenges set ahead of them. I do hope that this experience would follow through these children and generalise to other challenges in life.

In addition, I was particularly touched at the end of the camp when one of the children looked at me sincerely and said ‘Thanks Dear’. I almost melted. Sometimes we looked at children thinking they are too young to appreciate or understand the things that we have done for them, but I was all wrong. They know and they can sense it.

If you were to ask me whether i would go for such camp again, i gladly say yes =)

and i must say, im no longer that quiet introvert me anymore! ahahha!! looks can be deceiving. nicholas was telling me when he first saw me he went 'die la, how can this girl lead the group of children, she looks so quiet' MUAHAHAH!! but after 1 day, he decided to change his opinion because he said i was way too noisy =p and valerie must have been the first person on this planet to say i cheer damn loud. MUAHAHHA! its interesting to see how ppl perceive you at times. it is through knowing how ppl perceive u that u get to know yourself =)

ITS THE END OF EXAMS!!!! =DDDD its freeeeeedommmmmmm!! and a time for me to revive my blog and update stuff that is long overdue! SO BE PREPARED FOR MY LONGGGGG ENTRY!

dear allena yan has turned 21 on nov 22!! =) and seriously, she made me feel like staying in her house!

a pity i couldnt stay throughout her partty because MS FIONA LEE has turned 21 too!!! but no photos for this part yet...sooo...i just went to dig out one photo from laptop...heh!

Dear nana lee! this is specially dedicated to you because u claimed that we very mei cheng yi because we wrote a corporate message to you instead of writing individual messages...hahahha!!! u very gei gao leh! so here u go... happy 5 years to our friendship and happpppyyyy 21st birthdayyyyyy to uuuuuu!!! a pity i missed the front part of your birthday surprise but im sure you were reallly touched by what trixie, fangyi and weeseng did! but you must NOT FORGET the FAIRIES too because our presence IS VERY IMPORTANT to boost the atmosphere!!! heee! looking forward to more swimming/running/eating/laughing/cooking/baking/kite flying/gossiping/chatting/shopping WITH YOU! HUGSSSSSSSSS! and im going to do some research to find somewhere nice to eat for next tue when u end ur exams! cant wait =) and yes! this is open to all fairies too!!! free next tue not?!!!! we can help nana celebrate end of exams. heh!

next up! happpy 4 years old to my little niece eris =)) she is still as cute as ever and im surprised to find a 4 year old kid uses words like 'hmmm, this is tricky!'

no this is not my niece, is my elder sis...HEH!

next....HAPPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY AH SIAN! =)))

my first visit to tea cosy for dinner! nice ambience =) and to be fair, later u as gei gao as fiona lee, say we write corporate message to you...i shall dedicate a post to u too!

dear ng hui xian! its finally ur turn after 4/5 of the fairies have turned 21 =) happppy 21st birthday to you!! HUGS! even though we have been very much busy with uni, no time to update each other on what we are doing (although some times news spread among the fairies), but still! you know you are still my very great friend! hahaha!! this is so cliche but i find it really apt. its time for a meet up soon ok! don't keep working temp jobs right after exams! must learn to take a breakkkkkkk!

belinda's 21st party!!! happppy 21st birthdayyyyyyyyy!!! =DDD hope you enjoyed ur party =) and ur mummy is really cute...hahahha!!


haha! we all looked so happpy =)

so many things happening within my study break huh! haha! but it was good catching up with each other in the midst of drowning in my notes and books. hee! and the finishing of my sociology paper today, officially marked the end of my exams and marked the end of YEAR 3 SEM 1! omg! i still cant believe im a year 3 student. and im glad i made another friend this sem! someone whom i can just clique with =) haha! you know it when you can clique with someone. its that sense of connectedness! and so i headed to town to find my sis to shop!!! and down to chinatown to meet up with the rest of my family members, visited some tour agencies and did comparisons. seriously i don't mind where we are going, just get me on a plane and take me somewhere! settled for dinner at robertson quay! I SWEAR THE CONDOS THERE ARE OMG! oh man, the penthouse is like wahhh...ok, nvm, i shall not make myself sound like some noob. anyway, dinner was good and the waiter WAS CUTE! hahahh! this thai guy who kept smiling and smiling. very service oriented.

and now i can start planning what to do! im itching to bake somethingggggggggg!

THIS IS DAMN CUTE! babe and i came to sch wearing the same colour top, same colour belt and demin shorts =)) and something in common i notice, our hands looked stiff in the photo. hah!

and that day na was cute too. at the end of the lecture, she went 'give you smth!' and she handed me a packet of orange peels! and it got me laughing. orange peels meant for old ppl to eat one meh? no what.


AND TODAY MARKED THE END OF SEMESTER!!!!! this is damn fast. freaking 12 days to start of exam and i seriously need to start revising.



and i was so busy yesterday i didnt have time for my lunch and dinner! i had lecture from 12 to 2, met up my groupmates to finalise term paper from 2 to 7.30pm and i had to left them in school for dec camp meeting which lasted till 10plus11pm, and finally home near 12am. bathed and edited my group's term paper till 3.30am, somehow i couldnt really slp because i was so stressed with 'i don't know what' i only slept at 4plusam and woke up at 8.30am the next day to edit again! OMG! i think typing out all these is tiring enough.

and to think a usual bus ride from nus to harbourfront took 1HR instead of the usual 20mins. hate peak hr. tsk.

this is such a whiny post. complain too much.

and now! time to start my revision!


my all-time motivator for this sem =) iced white coffee!

i hate what im feeling now.

why do i always find myself being disturbed by this kind of thing? maybe this kind of thing is just not for me.

moooody to the max =( ROARS! I JUST FEEL MOODY =((( i dunlike to see 'Inbox(0)' in my hotmail.

and i don't know why i was so stressed yesterday. i just feel the essay that i've written is crap =/ and final exams are coming and i've yet to prepare. 1 more presentation and 1 more paper to go before i end the sem. boooo! thankfully babe was around and that makes me less stress after talking to her =)

anyway,

volunteer work at botanical gardens was fun despite the scorching sun. and i guess i haven been to botanical gardens for longgggggg, it suddenly seemed sooooo big to me! lectures about autism in school makes me understand the kids more than before. which is good in a way but i really hope one day, there's a cure for it. the food prepared by the parents was a whole lot! i think the whole group of us can survive on those food for 2 - 3 days. haha! sometimes i feel glad that despite these kids having intellectual disabilities etc, they still have a loving family. at least they are not being abandon.

one volunteer was saying he doesnt like to do volunteer work that has no purpose/no objective etc. initially i also thought so. but then i thought abt it again and i felt that what these kids really need, is our presence. sometimes we just play games, have meals with the kids. it may seem meaningless on the surface but our presence is what that allows them to see that they can be integrated into the mainstream, that they are not oddballs in the society. our interactions with the kids also teaches them the proper way to communicate, to interact with other people. our presence is like a practical session for them. sooooo...what that seems meaningless is NOT.

and i seriously think there is a need to remove the stigma in our society. why are ppl staring at these kids like they are monster or smth? one of the caregiver was telling me how a middle aged lady shouted 'molest' when the boy accidentally touches her. oh pls! want to molest also molest someone younger right? and even after the caregiver explained to the lady that the boy has autism, the lady was still so irritated by him.

ok. enough of my random thoughts.

im stillll moodddyyyy after typing a whole chunk of random thoughts. feel like slping but i think im wasting time. i have such a boring life. was telling babe n rousi that i want to pick up some new skills. likeeeeeeeeee dance or smth. AND BABE TOLD ME LEARN WHAT TU FENG WU! =x thanks ah. i cant imagine myself doing that.

BABE'S 21ST BIRTHDAY PARTY at cineleisure preview lounge =D

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY JACLYN SOH!

ST JOHN 24th NCO CAMP - ECHO (our camp group name back then)! hahahaha!!! the echo reunite =) and i met jeremy during candy's 21st, and now i met him again at babe's 21st. all the common friends we shared. heh.

the psychology clique =)

went to MINDS to conduct my experiment and the kids actually still rmb us!! OMG! they are so adorable =DDD and just nice my sis was working on a saturday...and the conversation went as such...

sis: what time u coming over MINDS?
me: meeting my friends at 1.30pm
sis: oh ok, wanna have lunch together?
me: yea..can ah..
sis: but i feel like eating tom yum macaroni...
me: so u asking me to cook from home and bring to ur workplace ah?
sis: hahahha! u noe i only get to eat tom yum macaroni on a saturday and i have to work today (saturday), this is so depressing..
me: okok, i cook then bring to u lo..
sis: =D



HAHAH!! here presenting u my 'FILLED-WITH-LOVE-TOM-YUM-MACARONI' for my sis! ok, it may not look appetising, but its nice ok! my sis was so touched when she saw it! because she WAS KIDDING WITH ME when she said she wanted me to cook lunch for her! -_-'' im such a nice sister, go where to find another me? HAHA! =p

HAPPENING DAY TODAY! =DDDD my otherwise boring day was made a whole lot fun-er with my group of girlfriends!

this is my group of psychology clique that i cant do without! =) and we celebrated yifang's bday in sch today! hahah! i realised we always do this kind of celebration in sch canteen...hee! anyway! happy birthday yifang! =D

ended lecture and headed over to ryl's house for swim, dinner, chit chat, camwhore session! we are seriously ultimate, swimming also can take photos. haha!

ok, we took alot more photos. but all very unglam and only can be shared within the fairies. haha! bathed and started preparing for our dinner!!!

some jian bing thing...

korean rice cake =D

can u believe we had red wine to go with korean food for dinner? hahaha!!

ah na braided my hair!!! but cant see from the front thou...

its good to take a break in the midst of all my busy assignments and project. it always feel good to be with them =D doing girly things like cooking, swimming, camwhoring, talking nonsense. although they still cant get my alien language at times. hee! see, ppl always good when they belong in a group. its true that the need to belong is a fundamental need!! and people who are deprive of it can result in psychological consequences. HAHA! too much of psychology =x

ok! im off to bed and hopefully i'll be a good girl tml morning and start working on my sociology term paper.

goodnighttttt!

omg! please get my brain working =/ i hate it when i sit in front of my laptop and i just stare blankly. it makes me feeeeel very time-wasting. =x im getting sick of sch. cant wait for the sem to endddddd like seriously.

random incident yesterday
jac: u got water not?
me: yea, u wan ah?
jac: yea...
me: *pour into her bottle
jac: wah, you drink very fast, barely half a day and your bottle is almost emptied
me: *giggles. the water is in my bottle since yesterday
jac: T_T *swallowed the mouthful of water*

and we all burst out laughing. haha! random things that make me laugh. hmm.

pediatric psyc presentation yesterday wassssss...funny! hahhaa! we did a role play and i had to dig out my long lost st john name tag to wear! so nostalgic. my nametag has turned yellowish =/ and we played taboo during group dynamic tutorial today. yea, sounds interesting eh? but not when we have to describe the words all in psychological terms and concepts.

meeting up with fairies tml for a swimmmmmmmmm and cooking korean rice cake for dinner =) alright, motivation to finish up my assignment now! gogogogo!

aim: finish up my sociology assignment tonight! before i continue with another one tml T_T

im looking forward to my weekends! doing expt at minds on sat, going babe's 21st bdae party at night. going for volunteer work on sun at botanic gardens! COOL! ok. more motivation to finish up my work. gogogogo!

i was taking my afternoon nap when i started dreaming about group membership and identity =/ been thinking too much about my sociology assignment =x and suddenly i hear someone whispering to me......

and its none other than my elder sis.

sis: wei! do you want to run?
me: huhhhhhhhh...im slpingggg
sis: i feel like running now leh
me: huh now?!
sis: yea, 4.30pm now...the weather is nice to run now...
me: okkkkkkk..give me 10mins to wake up...

and so i woke up in the middle of my nap just to go down and run 15minutes with my sis. and both of us are addicted to this song below that we can just sing it while we run. haha! assuming there is no passer-by that is because we were like 2 crazy girls running and singing.

张芸京 - 相反的我

我看着镜子后面皱著眉的我
很孤单她有话想说
像天空不会永远都是蓝色的
有阴天你才会抬头
走穿多少的巷弄
笑了哭了
有三四个人爱我

Chorus:
我想要一个乱了
数字的时钟
我想做一个完全相反的我
我在这个世界拼命些什么 (both my sis and i thought this sentence is so apt)
累死我
我有双不听任何命令的耳朵
去享受快乐加上自由的我
我要变成一颗透明的石头
我不会动
也不会痛

像轮胎用了太久 没气了 所以
原谅我 想消失几周
每个人都在选好的轨道奔走
讲真的我想要呼救
请看爱情的脸孔
美的丑的
几千万人都被愚弄了

Repeat Chorus

这个我 那个我
不一样的我
等什么 想什么
怕什么

and i really like the construction smell! it smells goood!

and i did my phone interview with jaclyn's sis! so cute. its good to understand why young people nowadays are turning to blogs, become fashion bloggers etc. when i think back, i wonder why did i even have a blog? what was my purpose then? was it my way of seeking identity and acceptance then? what about now? why do i still blog? does it matter whether ppl read it or not? has blogging shaped my identity in anyway?

ok, i'll talk more abt it after im done with my research.

off to work. i'll tryyyy at least.

i cried during sociology lecture yesterday just because the prof and the video he showed mentioned the taboo word. Somehow or rather, I have yet to get over it despite knowing that i have to. but i just cant.

i have been suppressing it for long. once in awhille it surfaced in my mind but i pushed it back into my unconscious. until one day, i broke down when we were at esplanade rooftop. i cried so hard then and u gave me a hug. that hug was reassuring because that was exactly what i needed. i needed to know that i was not left all alone to fend this. i know i have my sisters with me, but i do not want them to worry for me. you told me back then that whatever he did not do, you will compensate for it and words that you said touched me. you got a shock when you heard what i said but that did not scare u away. u simply accepted it and that makes you different from anyone else.

although once in awhile, environmental cues trigger certain memories of mine...but i'll rmb the monk story you told me. let it go.

can the clock not strike 10pm =(( i feel so nua to do anything now! SAVE ME!

sigh.

do you know? sometimes when im really bored......i just need to talk to my sister and we will laugh like crazy women. i would lie on my bed and she would lie on her own and we will start talking nonsense. we were trying to converse in dialects that day. IT WAS TOTALLY A FLOP. i really want to speak cantonese like fluently! but my 'half-pail-water' kind of cantonese really cmi. and we realise hokkien has no words for 'sorry','please'...does their sorry = paiseh? haha, ok maybe there are words to describe them just that our limited vocab for hokkien fail to let us see it. and its good when both of us study psychology =) cause we can talk psychology to each other =))

here presenting to u my 'look-alike' sister! =DD we do look alike right? with the same type of specs, round face, same hair parting...hahha!! next time i should take a photo with my dajie and you will realise how different we look like...but my dajie is cute too ok...she always like to share her excitement with my erjie and i and we will both laugh like mad especially when she ask us to listen to feng fei fei - zhang sheng xiang qi! my dajie is a nostalgic person. hahah! love my 2 sisters and they have always been with me even during my down-nest, worst period...

been sooo busy with sch work these days. meetings after meetings, discussion after discussion. and it just means more work to do after all these meetings and discussions. sigh. but im pretty much looking forward to my grp's experiment at MINDS. the lady i spoke to was damn nice! she happily allow us to conduct experiment with the exception that we need a letter from our prof and prepare consent letters for the parents. it would have been impossible if we asked other association because ethics clearance alone would take 2mths! and and and, i also managed to get permission from tgyc to do experiment too! cool! speaking about that, i went tgyc to do volunteer work some time ago....and my conclusion is that having taught 2 children at the same age yet presenting totally different character makes me wonder.......i think nurturing is impt.

AND YES!!! CHERYL CHUA! THIS IS DEDICATED TO U!!! although we seldom meet up, but i think we are sooooo close even if we do not meet up, u noe you are always in my little heart. and when i need help....I WILL THINK OF U! isnt that a plus pt?! hahahhaha!!! =pppp so don't mcflurry sardine pok french fries me! haha! im like talking our own fairies language.

the song you sent me, turned me into an emo kid!

I’ll Be Missing You
Puff Daddy

Intro: puff daddy

Every day I wake up
I hope I'm dreaming
I can't believe this shit
Cant believe you ain't here
Sometimes it's just hard for a nigga to wake up
Its hard to just keep going
Its like I feel empty inside without you being here
I would do anything man, to bring you back
Id give all this shit, shit the whole knot
I saw your son today
He look just like you
You was the greatest
You'll always be the greatest
I miss you big
Cant wait till that day, when I see your face again
I can't wait till that day, when I see your face again...

Yeah... this right here (tell me why)
Goes out, to everyone, that has lost someone
That they truly loved (cmon, check it out)

Verse one: puff daddy

Seems like yesterday we used to rock the show
I laced the track, you locked the flow
So far from hanging on the block for dough
Notorious, they got to know that
Life ain't always what it seem to be (uh-uh)
Words can't express what you mean to me
Even though you're gone, we still a team
Through your family, I'll fulfill your dream (that's right)
In the future, can't wait to see
If you open up the gates for me
Reminisce some time, the night they took my friend (uh-huh)
Try to black it out, but it plays again
When it's real, feelings hard to conceal
Cant imagine all the pain I feel
Give anything to hear half your breath (half your breath)
I know you still living your life, after death

Chorus: faith evans

Every step I take, every move I make
Every single day, every time I pray
Ill be missing you
Thinking of the day, when you went away
What a life to take, what a bond to break
Ill be missing you

[puff] I miss you big

Verse two: puff daddy

Its kinda hard with you not around (yeah)
Know you in heaven smiling down (eheh)
Watching us while we pray for you
Every day we pray for you
Till the day we meet again
In my heart is where I'll keep you friend
Memories give me the strength I need (uh-huh) to proceed
Strength I need to believe
My thoughts big I just can't define (cant define)
Wish I could turn back the hands of time
Us in the 6, shop for new clothes and kicks
You and me taking flicks
Making hits, stages they receive you on
I still can't believe you're gone (cant believe you're gone)
Give anything to hear half your breath (half your breath)
I know you still living you're life, after death

Chorus

[faith evans] somebody tell me why

Interlude: faith evans

On that morning
When this life is over
I know
Ill see your face

Outro: 112

Every night I pray, every step I take
Every move I make, every single day
Every night I pray, every step I take
[puff] every day that passes
Every move I make, every single day
[puff] is a day that I get closer
[puff] to seeing you again
Every night I pray, every step I take
[puff] we miss you big... and we wont stop
Every move I make, every single day
[puff] cause we can't stop... that's right
Every night I pray, every step I take
Every move I make, every single day
[puff] we miss you big
*music fades out*