i'm tired. it has been awhile since i really cried over work matters. i felt like a confused soldier being pushed to the battlefield to fight with my bare hands, to fight with people whom i don't really want to fight with. its a struggle emotionally as i try to make sense of everything on top of other things that is happening concurrently. i guess its ok to be weak once in awhile.

mega busy day at work. cant believe i went without food and water from 9am to 3pm just because i had 2 interviews and 1 reporting back to back. And one of my case just had to get into trouble with the law at the same time. so e amount of things i had to settle was =€§€{%<=$%#@! *meditate. I can do this. and during one of my interviews today, the mother told me that she couldnt take it anymore, whatever that was happening in her life at present. For some reasons, i could totally empathise with whatever she was saying.The things that she had gone through n struggled with were things that somewhat happened to me before and i know how that felt(but of course the extent of her problems were greater than mine). It sucks. I knew she needed the support, and i actually shared my own experiences with her and i broke down. crap. But honestly, i dun think tearing and sharing with my client is unprofessional. When you truly empathise,u feel it deep down. And at that moment, e mother who felt down and lost held my hand and provided comfort. I told her that women are amazing, because we are much stronger than we thought when we are faced with adversities. we are shaped through the experiences we went thru, and each time, we become stronger. right, and after ending such a emotional session with e mother, i had to switch to my PO mode almost immediately and do my reporting with my probationer. Felt schizo for a moment =/ but it has been an eventful day for me. work is never a routine. slowly finding back the meaning of my job.

sometimes we work and we find ourselves losing the purpose and meaning of it in e midst of writing the endless reports. I doubt my ability at times to effect positive change on the probationers and i questioned myself. Mmmmm.

starting work proper!

been awhile since i updated my blog! so it goes...

happy graduation from our Chrysallis training program! here we are, the 20 of us, no one less! =)) been a journey for us, the ups and downs, the angst with the HR, the joy from the various attachments, and now we are officially deployed! hurray!

GROUP C! the most fortunate thing that happened in the training program was to be part of this group =) we played hard and we worked hard, and LOOK! WE GOT THE BEST GROUP PRESENTATION AWARD! DAMN PROUD OF OURSELVES *CLAPS. we were the group that everyone else thought was the 'slackest' because we either left office on the dot, or we left at 5pm =/ but hey, we still got our work done at the end of the day, and we did it well =)cheers!

life has moved on, and we each got our deployment

it has been a month at probation services branch, and i have written my first pre-sentence report to the court! i finally feel like im doing work proper now =)

harloweeeen night!

It's halloween night at USS! =) totally impromptu trip to USS because the tickets we bought were meant for end october, and for some reason, we went early than expected. but it came timely i suppose. because its has been a long weeeeek for me, a whole week of grumpy-ness and angst. i guess the ghost did a great job scaring me, and scaring away all the grumpy-ness and angst accumulated over the week. well done!

and yes, its my first time going for halloween event! and USS looked totally different during the halloween night. so spoooky!

and yes, so we entered all the 3 haunted houses. and im so proud of myself! i think im so brave and calm! minus the occasional squeak when the monsters/ghosts caught me unaware. heh! but the haunted houses were really good with the set-up, and the make-up those monsters/ghost had were awesome too. like really down to the details kind. managed to take a few rides as well. a pity human and cyclone weren't operating....boooooo....oh welll. but its fine, I still enjoyed myself =D

ended the night at 1am, and i totally knocked out in the cab. had too much fun, and was too tireddddd.

fairies reunite!

went for therapy in the morning, and headed to airport to meet fairies for lunch. as usual, none were punctual =/ i should have known better, and arrive an hr later or smth! oh well.

the latte mocha that kept me awake while i waited for them! 

and yes, so the last member of fairies came at 4.15pm when we arranged to meet at 2.30pm. thank goodness they are my close clique, if not i'll totally be judging the person that came so late. anw, despite all the punctuality issues, we had full strength today! =)) it has been a good half a yr since we last met with 100% attendance rate *thumbs up. had a good time catching up, and we are never short of craziness when we come together =))

went to boyf's place thereafter, and he handed me this!

the story unfolded as i went through each picture card. (until now, i have no idea how u made that)

thank you for putting in the effort to make smth for me despite all your busy schedules. you always amazed me with the little things that you do. the story pretty much explained what i've been through and how i felt (thou im still uncertain abt the ending). thanks, and happy mthsary! =)

dinner with the family

dinner with the family at st regis! =) counting down to 5 days before er jie and brother-in-law takes the plane to UK! so excitinggggg. but im worried for them at the same time. mixed feelings. what if my sis goes home late at night, will it be safe? what if there are burglars? what if she forgot to lock her apartment's door? too many what ifs. so sister, PLEASE STAY SAFE OVERSEAS! 

i made a frame for er jie to bring over uk =) i feel so proud of myself *self pat on back. now i cant wait to fly over to uk next year! =)